...just might be the most amazingly cool thing EVER. I guess you could also say this about having a director/producer/writer for a dad.
Why???
Well... Yesterday, I was in Los Angeles for an event. Being that I arrived rather early -- as I am wont to do -- I hung out for a while in this wondrous place called Griffith Park. It was reminiscent of Disneyland in its magicalness. I would like to go back there very soon.
I sat at a picnic table eating my lunch in a spot that was relatively close to a small playground. There was a lovely climbing structure on the playground, which was being occupied by a group of 5 or 6 small children. Also present were a few mommies and a daddy. The daddy appeared to be in his early 30's, and he was very handsome and actor-like. And he engaged the children in the most wonderful game. I have never seen any other daddy do what this particular daddy did, and I thought, "I just love this land of creative people."
What was this game?
The daddy -- in a MOST enthusiastic and energetic way -- told all of the children that they would be playing a game which, to sum it up, was rather like a Game Of Thrones episode, if that show could possibly be happy and about good guys. He told the children -- in a voice that projected all the way across the park, like any good actor would -- what the "tag line" would be, which "characters" each of them (and he) would be playing, and how the drama would unfold. The children laughed and screeched delightedly as they were given their "stage directions." The "play" then commenced, with all the actors -- including the daddy -- participating in a whole-hearted, high-spirited fashion. "So this," I thought to myself, "is how the phenomenon of "being a star" is handed down, generation-unto-generation." I have raised three kids. I have been to LOTS of parks and birthday parties and play dates. And NEVER have I seen anything quite like this. It was astounding. And totally delightful.
I love LA. It is full of incredible people. Sure -- it has its problems -- but, there is no place quite like it in all the world. Every time I go there, I find something new at which to marvel. (Someday, I am going to go to NYC, and I'm sure that will be incredible, too.) ;-)
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
And This Is Exactly Why Caitlyn Jenner Won The Arthur Ashe Courage Award
Today I read a post by a popular Catholic blogger. It began: "Bruce Jenner won the ESPN courage award last night." This blogger's refusal to refer to Ms. Jenner as Caitlyn Jenner tells you a lot. And everything else he wrote in his article tells you EXACTLY WHY Caitlyn Jenner won The Arthur Ashe Courage Award. The whole piece was dripping with cruel disrespect and downright ignorance. In fact, in perusing this man's blog, I must say that a lot of his posts drip with cruel disrespect and downright ignorance.
But, anyway, back to the issue of Ms. Jenner.
The Catholic blogger goes on accuse Ms. Jenner of "mutiliating" her "genitals" and "playing dress up." The blogger says, "Jenner cut himself up and started wearing girls' clothes because he wanted to. It makes him feel good." EXCUSE ME?!?! First of all, from everything I have read, Ms. Jenner has not had any surgery on her genitals. Ms. Jenner also identifies as a woman, so she cannot be accused of "playing dress up." She is trying -- for all intents and purposes -- to authentically live her gender identity. And to have to live one's gender identity in the face of such ignorant insults certainly qualifies as courage, in my book. Catholics say that they "don't hate" LGBT people. Well... I'm sorry. But, this is hate, pure and simple. Ignorant hate.
The Catholic blogger says that Caitlyn Jenner does what she does "merely because it satisfies an urge." And then he goes on to say, "He needs counseling. Extensive, prolonged counseling. And Jesus."
Guess what? Ms. Jenner has had that type of counseling. It has been a struggle for her. She has done the best she can. She is doing the best she can. And standing tall in the face of the disrespect that this blogger -- and others like him -- throw at her is courage. Absolute courage.
And as far as Jesus goes? I read an article a while back written by the pastor of a Christian church that Bruce Jenner and his family attended many years ago. The pastor said that Bruce was there each and every Sunday -- even when the rest of his family couldn't make it. This pastor said that Bruce listened intently to the Bible readings and the sermons, sang with enthusiasm and devotion, and asked many intelligent and probing questions about our Lord in his attempt to know and love Him. In my opinion, it sounds like Bruce (now Caitlyn) has a lot more Jesus than this Catholic blogger. And a lot more courage.
It is easy to hurl insults and be applauded. It is NOT courage. That's what this Catholic blogger does.
Caityln is applauded, too. And -- yes -- she will make money from her story. But, that doesn't take away from its authenticity. Also -- as far as I can tell -- she has never hurled an insult at anybody. She has never shown any hatred. She seeks to spread understanding -- not just about herself, but about transsexual people, in general. And these trans people are hated by many. They need our love and support. So, Ms. Jenner, I will happily buy your book. Because you truly do have courage, especially when you are standing -- without flinching -- before those who claim to speak for God and who would condemn you for being who you are.
Catholics -- especially those who call themselves "traditional" and "orthodox" and would put themselves in leadership roles -- need to EDUCATE THEMSELVES about LGTBQ issues. They need to read modern thought with at least somewhat of an open mind. I am not saying they need to agree, but they need to stop sounding like cruel, ignorant fools. Sorry if that "fools" part sounds harsh, but they do come across as such. They really do.
My oldest daughter said to me once, "Maybe walking the 'straight and narrow' really means standing up for these people," meaning the LGBT people. Now -- to be clear -- she wasn't saying that we should reject Church teaching. But -- what she was saying -- is that when unfair, uneducated, cruel accusations are hurled at them, we need to stand up for them. We need to show compassion. We need to show mercy. We need to appreciate their intelligence and gifts and talents and actually integrate them into our society (and even into our personal lives). We need to LISTEN to them, and not just dismiss what they are saying about themselves. Because it is more difficult and requires much more wisdom and grace to do these things than to hurl Church teaching at them in a way that is unproductive, at best, and full of hate, at worst.
Frankly, we don't know all there is to know about human sexuality. And it's time for us Catholics to stop thinking that we do. Because that kind of pride is causing a lot of harm -- to individuals, to society, and to the Church.
Finally, I want to just remind everyone that Arthur Ashe died of AIDS, which is a disease -- at least when I was younger -- that caused people who had it to be treated with great suspicion and much unjust discrimination, even hatred. That is what Caitlyn Jenner -- and many LGBT people -- are being treated with now -- great suspicion, unjust discrimination, and even hatred. So -- maybe, just maybe -- Caitlyn is a VERY appropriate recipient of that award.
But, anyway, back to the issue of Ms. Jenner.
The Catholic blogger goes on accuse Ms. Jenner of "mutiliating" her "genitals" and "playing dress up." The blogger says, "Jenner cut himself up and started wearing girls' clothes because he wanted to. It makes him feel good." EXCUSE ME?!?! First of all, from everything I have read, Ms. Jenner has not had any surgery on her genitals. Ms. Jenner also identifies as a woman, so she cannot be accused of "playing dress up." She is trying -- for all intents and purposes -- to authentically live her gender identity. And to have to live one's gender identity in the face of such ignorant insults certainly qualifies as courage, in my book. Catholics say that they "don't hate" LGBT people. Well... I'm sorry. But, this is hate, pure and simple. Ignorant hate.
The Catholic blogger says that Caitlyn Jenner does what she does "merely because it satisfies an urge." And then he goes on to say, "He needs counseling. Extensive, prolonged counseling. And Jesus."
Guess what? Ms. Jenner has had that type of counseling. It has been a struggle for her. She has done the best she can. She is doing the best she can. And standing tall in the face of the disrespect that this blogger -- and others like him -- throw at her is courage. Absolute courage.
And as far as Jesus goes? I read an article a while back written by the pastor of a Christian church that Bruce Jenner and his family attended many years ago. The pastor said that Bruce was there each and every Sunday -- even when the rest of his family couldn't make it. This pastor said that Bruce listened intently to the Bible readings and the sermons, sang with enthusiasm and devotion, and asked many intelligent and probing questions about our Lord in his attempt to know and love Him. In my opinion, it sounds like Bruce (now Caitlyn) has a lot more Jesus than this Catholic blogger. And a lot more courage.
It is easy to hurl insults and be applauded. It is NOT courage. That's what this Catholic blogger does.
Caityln is applauded, too. And -- yes -- she will make money from her story. But, that doesn't take away from its authenticity. Also -- as far as I can tell -- she has never hurled an insult at anybody. She has never shown any hatred. She seeks to spread understanding -- not just about herself, but about transsexual people, in general. And these trans people are hated by many. They need our love and support. So, Ms. Jenner, I will happily buy your book. Because you truly do have courage, especially when you are standing -- without flinching -- before those who claim to speak for God and who would condemn you for being who you are.
Catholics -- especially those who call themselves "traditional" and "orthodox" and would put themselves in leadership roles -- need to EDUCATE THEMSELVES about LGTBQ issues. They need to read modern thought with at least somewhat of an open mind. I am not saying they need to agree, but they need to stop sounding like cruel, ignorant fools. Sorry if that "fools" part sounds harsh, but they do come across as such. They really do.
My oldest daughter said to me once, "Maybe walking the 'straight and narrow' really means standing up for these people," meaning the LGBT people. Now -- to be clear -- she wasn't saying that we should reject Church teaching. But -- what she was saying -- is that when unfair, uneducated, cruel accusations are hurled at them, we need to stand up for them. We need to show compassion. We need to show mercy. We need to appreciate their intelligence and gifts and talents and actually integrate them into our society (and even into our personal lives). We need to LISTEN to them, and not just dismiss what they are saying about themselves. Because it is more difficult and requires much more wisdom and grace to do these things than to hurl Church teaching at them in a way that is unproductive, at best, and full of hate, at worst.
Frankly, we don't know all there is to know about human sexuality. And it's time for us Catholics to stop thinking that we do. Because that kind of pride is causing a lot of harm -- to individuals, to society, and to the Church.
Finally, I want to just remind everyone that Arthur Ashe died of AIDS, which is a disease -- at least when I was younger -- that caused people who had it to be treated with great suspicion and much unjust discrimination, even hatred. That is what Caitlyn Jenner -- and many LGBT people -- are being treated with now -- great suspicion, unjust discrimination, and even hatred. So -- maybe, just maybe -- Caitlyn is a VERY appropriate recipient of that award.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Governor Jindal Called Me A "Left-Wing Ideologue"
Well... Not to my face.
But, he called those who think business people should not be able to discriminate against gay people in providing services for same-sex weddings "left-wing ideologues."
So, I guess I must be included.
Which is really funny to me.
Because in my U.S. Government class in high school we had to take this little test which measured how liberal or conservative we were. The results? This kinda hot Mormon boy and I got a tie score as the most conservative people in the school. He was interested in me for about five minutes. Until he found out how Catholic I was. The teacher said, "Marla, you should be on your knees before Ronald Reagan." (Mind you. This was no insult. That particular teacher was a staunch Republican.)
And -- yes -- I voted for Reagan. And Bush. And Bush. And McCain. And Romney. (Although, that one was rather painful.)
I also homeschooled my kids and paid their tuition at pretty much the most conservative Catholic colleges IN THE WORLD. Not in the state, mind you. Or even the country. But, THE WORLD.
So, to have myself lumped in with the "left-wing ideologues" was quite hilarious. And also quite illustrative of today's conservative thinking.
Which is why, I suppose, I can't really call myself a conservative, anymore. I jumped off that train as it derailed and I found my feet firmly planted in the land of Obamacare.
And after much research and thinking and soul-searching, I have also found my feet firmly planted in the land of marriage equality. If a marriage is legal, then it should stand on equal legal ground with all other legal marriages, and should be respected, as such.
And what does this mean to me, as far as religious freedom goes?
It means that the Catholic Church (and any other religious organization) should never, ever be forced to preside at weddings which do not conform to their theology. Even the Human Rights Campaign asserts that they should never have to do this, as it would be a very clear violation of the Constitution.
But, as far as taking photographs and serving food and baking cakes and preparing pizza? To assert that to do this is a violation of your religious freedom is tenuous, at best. And more like ridiculous. I'm not going to go into a big explanation of this. Many others have explained it, and explained it very well.
I am, though, going to tell you where all this pizza/cake/flowers/photograph hoo-ha came from.
As I have existed, for many years, in the land of the right -- both religious and political -- I was able to observe much of the development of the anti-same-sex-marriage movement. And I came to realize that it was primarily based on fear. The movement had to make people afraid of what would happen to them if same-sex marriage became a reality. I heard priests and political people speak very persuasively about how we Christians would be persecuted if same-sex marriage were legalized. It truly was frightening. I became frightened. And I'm sorry for that. It was only after I started doing research and speaking to people on my own that I became un-frightened. Now -- mind you -- there were (and are) people who don't support same-sex marriage and who speak about their views in a way that is not fear-inducing. It is more philosphical and theological. But, there was (and is) A LOT of hysterical talk in the anti-same-sex-marriage movement.
So, when same-sex marriage was legalized in many places and nothing frightening occurred and most people were starting to make peace with their same-sex-married-couple neighbors, the anti-same-sex-marriage movement had to come up with a way to show the populace that they were, IN FACT, being religiously persecuted and should, IN FACT, be very afraid. Enter the Same-Sex-Pizza-Wars (insert "flowers" or "photography" or "cake" for "pizza," as you so desire).
Simply put: YOU ARE BEING PLAYED, nice conservative people.
(And here I'm going to put in a plug for the nice conservative people. Most of them don't hate anybody. Some of them do. This is true. And that hate is absolutely unacceptable. But, most of them don't. They are being played, which calls for a little patience and understanding on your part, nice progressive people.)
Because, you know what? Providing wedding services is not the same thing as participating in a marriage ceremony. And refusing to provide the services of your business because a marriage does not conform to your theology could rightfully be seen as constituting discrimination. I, personally, believe it does.
There are many types of marriages that the Catholic Church does not deem as "Sacramental" in its theology. Same-sex marriage is one of those types, but there are many others. I generally don't see the Catholic Church, or any other Christian churches, making a lot of noise about their members catering these other non-Sacramental weddings. So, frankly, it looks like we are picking on the LGBTQ people in a rather cruel way.
I look at it this way. I understand what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage. And I respect it. But, I am also quite sure that we don't know everything there is to know about human sexuality. And if somebody is gay or lesbian, forming a relationship with a person of the same sex is the natural thing to do. And these relationships are whole relationships. They are not just all about the sex act. They truly are about love and commitment. They are emotionally and spiritually supportive. They are TOTAL relationships.
Yes, there are unhealthy same-sex relationships. There are also unhealthy heterosexual relationships -- lots of them. But, same-sex relationships can also be very healthy and satisfying for the people involved. And I feel uncomfortable casting a negative judgment on these relationships. I think to myself, "I am very straight. What if I was told I either had to marry another woman or be alone for the rest of my life?" That kind of sums it up, for me.
So, this Catholic lady, who sent her kids to the three most conservative Catholic colleges IN THE WORLD, would -- if I knew how -- be very happy to arrange the flowers or bake the cake or take the pictures or prepare the pizza for your same-sex wedding. And I would wish you much happiness as I did so.
Pax.
But, he called those who think business people should not be able to discriminate against gay people in providing services for same-sex weddings "left-wing ideologues."
So, I guess I must be included.
Which is really funny to me.
Because in my U.S. Government class in high school we had to take this little test which measured how liberal or conservative we were. The results? This kinda hot Mormon boy and I got a tie score as the most conservative people in the school. He was interested in me for about five minutes. Until he found out how Catholic I was. The teacher said, "Marla, you should be on your knees before Ronald Reagan." (Mind you. This was no insult. That particular teacher was a staunch Republican.)
And -- yes -- I voted for Reagan. And Bush. And Bush. And McCain. And Romney. (Although, that one was rather painful.)
I also homeschooled my kids and paid their tuition at pretty much the most conservative Catholic colleges IN THE WORLD. Not in the state, mind you. Or even the country. But, THE WORLD.
So, to have myself lumped in with the "left-wing ideologues" was quite hilarious. And also quite illustrative of today's conservative thinking.
Which is why, I suppose, I can't really call myself a conservative, anymore. I jumped off that train as it derailed and I found my feet firmly planted in the land of Obamacare.
And after much research and thinking and soul-searching, I have also found my feet firmly planted in the land of marriage equality. If a marriage is legal, then it should stand on equal legal ground with all other legal marriages, and should be respected, as such.
And what does this mean to me, as far as religious freedom goes?
It means that the Catholic Church (and any other religious organization) should never, ever be forced to preside at weddings which do not conform to their theology. Even the Human Rights Campaign asserts that they should never have to do this, as it would be a very clear violation of the Constitution.
But, as far as taking photographs and serving food and baking cakes and preparing pizza? To assert that to do this is a violation of your religious freedom is tenuous, at best. And more like ridiculous. I'm not going to go into a big explanation of this. Many others have explained it, and explained it very well.
I am, though, going to tell you where all this pizza/cake/flowers/photograph hoo-ha came from.
As I have existed, for many years, in the land of the right -- both religious and political -- I was able to observe much of the development of the anti-same-sex-marriage movement. And I came to realize that it was primarily based on fear. The movement had to make people afraid of what would happen to them if same-sex marriage became a reality. I heard priests and political people speak very persuasively about how we Christians would be persecuted if same-sex marriage were legalized. It truly was frightening. I became frightened. And I'm sorry for that. It was only after I started doing research and speaking to people on my own that I became un-frightened. Now -- mind you -- there were (and are) people who don't support same-sex marriage and who speak about their views in a way that is not fear-inducing. It is more philosphical and theological. But, there was (and is) A LOT of hysterical talk in the anti-same-sex-marriage movement.
So, when same-sex marriage was legalized in many places and nothing frightening occurred and most people were starting to make peace with their same-sex-married-couple neighbors, the anti-same-sex-marriage movement had to come up with a way to show the populace that they were, IN FACT, being religiously persecuted and should, IN FACT, be very afraid. Enter the Same-Sex-Pizza-Wars (insert "flowers" or "photography" or "cake" for "pizza," as you so desire).
Simply put: YOU ARE BEING PLAYED, nice conservative people.
(And here I'm going to put in a plug for the nice conservative people. Most of them don't hate anybody. Some of them do. This is true. And that hate is absolutely unacceptable. But, most of them don't. They are being played, which calls for a little patience and understanding on your part, nice progressive people.)
Because, you know what? Providing wedding services is not the same thing as participating in a marriage ceremony. And refusing to provide the services of your business because a marriage does not conform to your theology could rightfully be seen as constituting discrimination. I, personally, believe it does.
There are many types of marriages that the Catholic Church does not deem as "Sacramental" in its theology. Same-sex marriage is one of those types, but there are many others. I generally don't see the Catholic Church, or any other Christian churches, making a lot of noise about their members catering these other non-Sacramental weddings. So, frankly, it looks like we are picking on the LGBTQ people in a rather cruel way.
I look at it this way. I understand what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage. And I respect it. But, I am also quite sure that we don't know everything there is to know about human sexuality. And if somebody is gay or lesbian, forming a relationship with a person of the same sex is the natural thing to do. And these relationships are whole relationships. They are not just all about the sex act. They truly are about love and commitment. They are emotionally and spiritually supportive. They are TOTAL relationships.
Yes, there are unhealthy same-sex relationships. There are also unhealthy heterosexual relationships -- lots of them. But, same-sex relationships can also be very healthy and satisfying for the people involved. And I feel uncomfortable casting a negative judgment on these relationships. I think to myself, "I am very straight. What if I was told I either had to marry another woman or be alone for the rest of my life?" That kind of sums it up, for me.
So, this Catholic lady, who sent her kids to the three most conservative Catholic colleges IN THE WORLD, would -- if I knew how -- be very happy to arrange the flowers or bake the cake or take the pictures or prepare the pizza for your same-sex wedding. And I would wish you much happiness as I did so.
Pax.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Watch "Gotham"
The ratings for the last couple episodes of "Gotham" have been down a bit. And it's too bad. It's really a great show. It has been renewed for a second season, so there's no danger of cancellation. But, it would be cool if the ratings picked up a bit (or a lot) as we head toward the season finale and await Season 2. Because I want a Season 3. And I don't want Ben McKenzie to be sad. He works too hard to have to be sad.
Now, I know many people started out watching "Gotham" and then quit after a few episodes. Y'all should come back. You should always give a new show AT LEAST five episodes, and probably more like seven, before you give up on it. It really takes that long for the thing to get out of the gate and get into its groove. You should believe me on this because somebody once called me a "film producer," so -- obviously -- I know about these things. Haha. Actually, you should believe me on this because I have skipped too much housework in lieu of watching a lot of TV in my life, and I have noticed this phenomenon. And I'll tell you, "Gotham" has really gotten its s**t together. Mind you, I have enjoyed it from the get-go, but it has gotten better and better. For one thing, Ben McKenzie has truly found his Jim Gordon and is consistently "in the zone." Bravo, Ben! You are rockin' it.
I know some people also have an issue with "Gotham's" 8:00 time slot, especially parents. I have noticed that young people are pestering their parents to let them watch "Gotham," leading them to just put their foot down in a frustrated demonstration of parental authority. Thus, these poor moms and dads most likely don't even DVR the show and also -- probably -- boycott everything FOX. I have noticed that most people hate on FOX. The progressives hate on it because of the news and the conservatives hate on it because of its entertainment offerings. It's a wonder, of sorts, that FOX is even still on the air. I guess, though, that giving absolutely everybody something to hate on could make you quite popular.
Take heart, moms and dads. The violence on "Gotham," though present, is not gratuitous. It is appropriate for the story. And that story has key moral questions that your children should consider. Of course, I am not talking about 7-year-olds. But, I do think that children who are 10 years old and above could reap many benefits from watching "Gotham." The show presents to its audience the types of moral conundrums that most (if not all) of us will face in our lives. This is part of the value of a good story, which "Gotham" is. We see these fictional situations and fictional characters. We see how the characters -- some of whom we admire and some of whom we don't -- interact with the situations. We see what the results of those interactions are. There is much food for thought here, and many parallels with "real life." I homeschooled my kids for 13 years, and if "Gotham" had been on, I would have used it in writing lessons, ethics lessons, history lessons, political science lessons, art lessons... I almost want to have another baby so that I can use "Gotham" in lesson plans. (No. Not really. Just kidding. And -- besides -- I am "past the age.") The point is, though, that if you watch "Gotham" with your kids and you have any semblance of coolness about you as a parent, you can leverage it in order to teach your kids A LOT.
Also, as far as real life role models, you should want your kids to be acquainted with those involved in making "Gotham." The whole team is pretty incredible. They are positive people living positive lives. The actor who plays the young Bruce Wayne and the young actress who plays Selina Kyle (the future Catwoman) are prime examples of this. They are incredibly grounded, intelligent, energetic, joyful, engaged-with-life young people. They speak about their "real lives" and their work in a way which could inspire kids to live their own lives with both a sense of healthy fun and purpose. As they speak about the story of "Gotham," they shed light onto the creative process, which is an especially important thing for kids to understand as they navigate their way through the educational system's literature and writing assignments. Ben, himself, is a very good example for kids. He believes young people should work very hard, be very responsible, as they strive to reach worthwhile goals; and he will often speak of this. In fact, he can almost come off as a little bit of a curmudgeon. I actually told my daughter that if he ever has kids, he's going to be the world's strictest dad. ;-) What makes his message such a terrific one for young people, though, is the fact that he is a truly fun person and he has the right end-game in mind. --> He desires that kids grow up to do work that means something to them, work they will enjoy, work that will benefit both themselves and others. And he knows from experience and expresses quite effectively (i.e. in a way that kids will listen) what is necessary to achieve these things.
It seems this post has morphed from why people -- in general -- should watch "Gotham" into why parents should let their kids watch "Gotham." That really wasn't my original intention, but there you have it. And adults should watch it, too. It's beautifully crafted, well-written, compelling, thought-provoking, and a great deal of FUN! I actually think it's really all about President Obama. Or LBJ. Or FDR. Or even The Gipper. So... Catch up on those previously aired episodes and I hope to see you on Monday night in Gotham! And then I hope to see you on Tuesday night for "Agents Of Shield." We've gotta get Coulson out of that jam. I love Coulson!
Now, I know many people started out watching "Gotham" and then quit after a few episodes. Y'all should come back. You should always give a new show AT LEAST five episodes, and probably more like seven, before you give up on it. It really takes that long for the thing to get out of the gate and get into its groove. You should believe me on this because somebody once called me a "film producer," so -- obviously -- I know about these things. Haha. Actually, you should believe me on this because I have skipped too much housework in lieu of watching a lot of TV in my life, and I have noticed this phenomenon. And I'll tell you, "Gotham" has really gotten its s**t together. Mind you, I have enjoyed it from the get-go, but it has gotten better and better. For one thing, Ben McKenzie has truly found his Jim Gordon and is consistently "in the zone." Bravo, Ben! You are rockin' it.
I know some people also have an issue with "Gotham's" 8:00 time slot, especially parents. I have noticed that young people are pestering their parents to let them watch "Gotham," leading them to just put their foot down in a frustrated demonstration of parental authority. Thus, these poor moms and dads most likely don't even DVR the show and also -- probably -- boycott everything FOX. I have noticed that most people hate on FOX. The progressives hate on it because of the news and the conservatives hate on it because of its entertainment offerings. It's a wonder, of sorts, that FOX is even still on the air. I guess, though, that giving absolutely everybody something to hate on could make you quite popular.
Take heart, moms and dads. The violence on "Gotham," though present, is not gratuitous. It is appropriate for the story. And that story has key moral questions that your children should consider. Of course, I am not talking about 7-year-olds. But, I do think that children who are 10 years old and above could reap many benefits from watching "Gotham." The show presents to its audience the types of moral conundrums that most (if not all) of us will face in our lives. This is part of the value of a good story, which "Gotham" is. We see these fictional situations and fictional characters. We see how the characters -- some of whom we admire and some of whom we don't -- interact with the situations. We see what the results of those interactions are. There is much food for thought here, and many parallels with "real life." I homeschooled my kids for 13 years, and if "Gotham" had been on, I would have used it in writing lessons, ethics lessons, history lessons, political science lessons, art lessons... I almost want to have another baby so that I can use "Gotham" in lesson plans. (No. Not really. Just kidding. And -- besides -- I am "past the age.") The point is, though, that if you watch "Gotham" with your kids and you have any semblance of coolness about you as a parent, you can leverage it in order to teach your kids A LOT.
Also, as far as real life role models, you should want your kids to be acquainted with those involved in making "Gotham." The whole team is pretty incredible. They are positive people living positive lives. The actor who plays the young Bruce Wayne and the young actress who plays Selina Kyle (the future Catwoman) are prime examples of this. They are incredibly grounded, intelligent, energetic, joyful, engaged-with-life young people. They speak about their "real lives" and their work in a way which could inspire kids to live their own lives with both a sense of healthy fun and purpose. As they speak about the story of "Gotham," they shed light onto the creative process, which is an especially important thing for kids to understand as they navigate their way through the educational system's literature and writing assignments. Ben, himself, is a very good example for kids. He believes young people should work very hard, be very responsible, as they strive to reach worthwhile goals; and he will often speak of this. In fact, he can almost come off as a little bit of a curmudgeon. I actually told my daughter that if he ever has kids, he's going to be the world's strictest dad. ;-) What makes his message such a terrific one for young people, though, is the fact that he is a truly fun person and he has the right end-game in mind. --> He desires that kids grow up to do work that means something to them, work they will enjoy, work that will benefit both themselves and others. And he knows from experience and expresses quite effectively (i.e. in a way that kids will listen) what is necessary to achieve these things.
It seems this post has morphed from why people -- in general -- should watch "Gotham" into why parents should let their kids watch "Gotham." That really wasn't my original intention, but there you have it. And adults should watch it, too. It's beautifully crafted, well-written, compelling, thought-provoking, and a great deal of FUN! I actually think it's really all about President Obama. Or LBJ. Or FDR. Or even The Gipper. So... Catch up on those previously aired episodes and I hope to see you on Monday night in Gotham! And then I hope to see you on Tuesday night for "Agents Of Shield." We've gotta get Coulson out of that jam. I love Coulson!
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Scott Lynch Is My Role Model
Scott is the youngest of my three children, with two older sisters. That fact alone should cause you to admire him. ;-) Anyway, he is 22 years old and a senior in college. And he is my role model.
Scott has a will of iron. He always has. When he was a toddler, if something did not happen according to his approval, he would scream and cry and bang his head on the floor. Usually, the head-banging happened on the living room rug, but once (and only once) it occurred outside on the cement patio. And Scott has always had very strong opinions about many things -- even as a toddler -- so, there were always copious occasions for head-banging.
When I was a young mother, trying to make sense of my little boy, I realized that lying at the root of all his apparent attempts at self-harm was the fact that he had -- basically -- the strongest will I had ever come across. And I knew (or, rather, hoped) that he would learn -- with my help -- to harness that will for good. And he has.
It has not been an easy road. For either of us. It has been a road worth traveling, though.
Because, along with this iron will, Scott has one of the greatest senses of justice and fairness that I have ever come across. When he was three, this sense of justice manifested itself in a resistance to learning certain bathroom skills and watching Mr. Rogers on television. For some reason, my son found Mr. Rogers -- and any other children's show -- to be highly objectionable. The only thing my son would watch was "Top Gun". He wanted to watch "Top Gun" every single day for most of his pre-school life, and I pretty much let him. With all that head-banging going on, I had to choose my battles carefully. Judge me, if you will, I don't care. My son is a history major, a docent at The Flying Leathernecks Aviation Museum at Miramar, and he completed an internship at Pearl Harbor this past summer; and I give all the credit to Maverick, Goose, and Ben Affleck's performance in -- you know it -- "Pearl Harbor". (Yes. I let Scott watch "Pearl Harbor" when he was a small boy. Go ahead and judge me. I don't care.)
Scott also found learning the alphabet and listening to any sort of children's book contrary to his sense of justice and fairness. The only books he allowed me to read to him before he was five years old were "F-14 Tomcat Walk Around" and "Military Aircraft Identification." He did make an exception to his objection to children's books for "Curious George", though, which was kind of nice for me. I can't tell you how many hours I spent reading aloud to Scott about Pratt and Whitney engines, and such. I did, though, have one requirement that I made my son abide by. And he pretty much did abide by it, with just a few tears and boltering head passes at the family room floor. My requirement was that he had to identify certain capital and lower case letters in his favored books BEFORE I would read about such things as the Grumman E-2 Hawkeye. I would say, "Point to the 'G', Scott." And he would do it -- all the while giving me the evil eye. But, he would do it.
These sorts of negotiations between Scott and me continued throughout his childhood and most of his adolescence. If he didn't think a request being made of him -- by me or by anybody else -- was reasonable, he just wouldn't budge. Never mind the consequences. He was immovable. He would only consent to something if he deemed it necessary and appropriate.
As he got older, though, he began to view the world and its requirements with a more mature eye. And -- because his great sense of justice led to a great sense of conscientiousness and responsibility -- he began to cooperate with the demands of young adulthood, college admissions boards, and United States citizenship. This has not always been easy for him, for -- as we all know -- adulthood, colleges, and the United States government require some pretty stupid-ass things, sometimes.
I am really proud of Scott. I know his personality has not made life easy on him. And it never really will. He has to wrestle with himself a great deal, but the results of that internal sparring have led to a young man who is exceptional in kindness, patience, and -- yes -- justice.
Scott has a will of iron. He always has. When he was a toddler, if something did not happen according to his approval, he would scream and cry and bang his head on the floor. Usually, the head-banging happened on the living room rug, but once (and only once) it occurred outside on the cement patio. And Scott has always had very strong opinions about many things -- even as a toddler -- so, there were always copious occasions for head-banging.
When I was a young mother, trying to make sense of my little boy, I realized that lying at the root of all his apparent attempts at self-harm was the fact that he had -- basically -- the strongest will I had ever come across. And I knew (or, rather, hoped) that he would learn -- with my help -- to harness that will for good. And he has.
It has not been an easy road. For either of us. It has been a road worth traveling, though.
Because, along with this iron will, Scott has one of the greatest senses of justice and fairness that I have ever come across. When he was three, this sense of justice manifested itself in a resistance to learning certain bathroom skills and watching Mr. Rogers on television. For some reason, my son found Mr. Rogers -- and any other children's show -- to be highly objectionable. The only thing my son would watch was "Top Gun". He wanted to watch "Top Gun" every single day for most of his pre-school life, and I pretty much let him. With all that head-banging going on, I had to choose my battles carefully. Judge me, if you will, I don't care. My son is a history major, a docent at The Flying Leathernecks Aviation Museum at Miramar, and he completed an internship at Pearl Harbor this past summer; and I give all the credit to Maverick, Goose, and Ben Affleck's performance in -- you know it -- "Pearl Harbor". (Yes. I let Scott watch "Pearl Harbor" when he was a small boy. Go ahead and judge me. I don't care.)
Scott also found learning the alphabet and listening to any sort of children's book contrary to his sense of justice and fairness. The only books he allowed me to read to him before he was five years old were "F-14 Tomcat Walk Around" and "Military Aircraft Identification." He did make an exception to his objection to children's books for "Curious George", though, which was kind of nice for me. I can't tell you how many hours I spent reading aloud to Scott about Pratt and Whitney engines, and such. I did, though, have one requirement that I made my son abide by. And he pretty much did abide by it, with just a few tears and boltering head passes at the family room floor. My requirement was that he had to identify certain capital and lower case letters in his favored books BEFORE I would read about such things as the Grumman E-2 Hawkeye. I would say, "Point to the 'G', Scott." And he would do it -- all the while giving me the evil eye. But, he would do it.
These sorts of negotiations between Scott and me continued throughout his childhood and most of his adolescence. If he didn't think a request being made of him -- by me or by anybody else -- was reasonable, he just wouldn't budge. Never mind the consequences. He was immovable. He would only consent to something if he deemed it necessary and appropriate.
As he got older, though, he began to view the world and its requirements with a more mature eye. And -- because his great sense of justice led to a great sense of conscientiousness and responsibility -- he began to cooperate with the demands of young adulthood, college admissions boards, and United States citizenship. This has not always been easy for him, for -- as we all know -- adulthood, colleges, and the United States government require some pretty stupid-ass things, sometimes.
I am really proud of Scott. I know his personality has not made life easy on him. And it never really will. He has to wrestle with himself a great deal, but the results of that internal sparring have led to a young man who is exceptional in kindness, patience, and -- yes -- justice.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Sometimes...
...the heart just breaks. And there is nothing to be done about it.
Sometimes...
...the heart is broken. And there is nothing to be done about it.
Because...
Sometimes...
...one is just misunderstood. And there is nothing to be done about it.
Because...
Sometimes...
...things are just out of your hands.
<3
Sometimes...
...the heart is broken. And there is nothing to be done about it.
Because...
Sometimes...
...one is just misunderstood. And there is nothing to be done about it.
Because...
Sometimes...
...things are just out of your hands.
<3
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Bridget Lynch Is My Role Model
Bridget is my second kiddo. She is 24 years old. And -- like her older sister before her -- she is my role model.
Bridget loves people. Really loves people. If you are Bridget's friend, or even her internet acquaintance, Bridget loves you. Unless you are a douche-bag. There's no in-between with Bridget. She either loves you. Or she doesn't. But she's not too hard on people, so don't fear. Although, you will win a bit more favor with Bridget by being a person of logical thinking skills. She favors St. Thomas, but if you are a Nietzsche fan, she'll be (sort of) okay with you. As long as you do Nietzsche right and don't use him as an excuse to be a douche-bag. If you learn the proper lessons from Nietzsche, then Bridget will be your friend. Which means she'll love you.
Bridget will also love you if you are -- like me -- more a person of intuition than a person of logical thinking skills. As long as you use your intuition for good, and have at least a passing amount of respect for those who favor logic, Bridget will be your friend. Which means she'll love you. If you don't have at least a passing amount of respect for logical thinking, Bridget will still love you (as long as you aren't a douche-bag), but she may roll her eyes a lot and say "ugh" when not in your presence.
I learn a lot from Bridget's love of people. I, myself, like a great number of people, but it is harder for me to love them. At least in the way that Bridget does. Bridget loves people in a truly heartfelt way. Bridget loves people with the deepest of emotion. I love a few people like that, but not too many. I keep more of an emotional distance. I'm a bit more guarded with my heart. And I admire Bridget for opening herself up to love people -- even after having had more than one experience of being hurt and disappointed by her fellow human beings. And Bridget has had some pretty bad experiences with people. Those she thought were good have, at times, turned out to be douche-bags. She doesn't actually love those people, anymore (unless they were douche-bags in an unintentional, innocent type of way), but she lets herself go on loving new people. I would never do that. I don't do that. So, I really admire Bridget. And I wish I could be more like her.
Bridget is an exceedingly generous person, with both her time and her talents. She is also generous with her treasure -- even though she doesn't actually have any. If you're talking about percentages of net worth, Bridget probably gives more away than pretty much anybody else I know. For -- if you know Bridget -- you realize that she is, for health reasons, unable to work a normal job. She has a little home business (her Etsy store is The Bagel Box), making beautiful baby blankets and nursing covers and baby clothes. As you can imagine, this doesn't pull in a great deal of income. But Bridget still gives the people she loves gifts for all manner of special occasions. And she hates charging people for her baby items -- especially her friends, because she loves them, and wants to give them all things for free. She also donates regularly to her alma mater, because she tells me that they receive certain grants based on the percentage of alumni who donate. If I were Bridget, I would not even think that I should give money to my alma mater, being that I really didn't have an income. Bridget does it, though, cheerfully and without reservation. I am always telling her that she doesn't need to do this, but she ignores me. Bridget is also willing to help you out in any way that you need help, if you are her friend. Because she loves you. And I see that it truly makes Bridget happy to be generous. I ask her what her bank balance is, and she doesn't really know. I ask her if she actually has the time and energy to be helping out at church so much, and she always says she does. Even though I kind of know better. Last night, she hauled ass WAY down to La Mesa to help out with a choir that she isn't even going to perform with, because she knew the song they were rehearsing, and none of the other ladies did. They practiced the song for two hours and today Bridget has taken two doses of migraine medicine, thus far. I would be a little annoyed, if I were Bridget, but she is not in the least bit annoyed. Sometimes -- I admit -- I have to put a lid on all this generosity. I am glad, though, that she has such a giving heart. I'd rather have to put a stop to her once-in-a-while than have her be any different than how she is. She inspires me to be more generous myself, without worrying so much about my future assets.
I also see that because of her health problems and the -- not insignificant -- suffering they cause her, Bridget is developing a very deep spiritual life. Hers is not the kind of "spiritual life" that leads a person to become some sort of annoying "Christian motivational speaker." It is not the kind of "spiritual life" that leads one to judge other people who aren't being "Catholic enough." It is, rather, an authentic spiritual life, in which she is becoming closer to God and becoming great buddies with Him. They keep each other company. She doesn't talk about this, but I can see it. And I can tell she relies on this relationship with God, who is her friend (and because He is her friend, she loves Him, as she does all her friends) to sustain her in what she suffers because of her health. I also see that her spiritual life is authentic because of the way it leads her to be LESS judgmental and more open and loving to all kinds of people -- including her "hippie" mother, who loves nothing more than a good drum solo at Mass.
I know some of you are probably thinking that this is a rather boastful blog post. I don't mean it to be, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I just want Bridget to know that I do admire her. And I look up to her. Even when I tell her to stop writing those checks to TAC, for heaven's sake. ;-)
Bridget loves people. Really loves people. If you are Bridget's friend, or even her internet acquaintance, Bridget loves you. Unless you are a douche-bag. There's no in-between with Bridget. She either loves you. Or she doesn't. But she's not too hard on people, so don't fear. Although, you will win a bit more favor with Bridget by being a person of logical thinking skills. She favors St. Thomas, but if you are a Nietzsche fan, she'll be (sort of) okay with you. As long as you do Nietzsche right and don't use him as an excuse to be a douche-bag. If you learn the proper lessons from Nietzsche, then Bridget will be your friend. Which means she'll love you.
Bridget will also love you if you are -- like me -- more a person of intuition than a person of logical thinking skills. As long as you use your intuition for good, and have at least a passing amount of respect for those who favor logic, Bridget will be your friend. Which means she'll love you. If you don't have at least a passing amount of respect for logical thinking, Bridget will still love you (as long as you aren't a douche-bag), but she may roll her eyes a lot and say "ugh" when not in your presence.
I learn a lot from Bridget's love of people. I, myself, like a great number of people, but it is harder for me to love them. At least in the way that Bridget does. Bridget loves people in a truly heartfelt way. Bridget loves people with the deepest of emotion. I love a few people like that, but not too many. I keep more of an emotional distance. I'm a bit more guarded with my heart. And I admire Bridget for opening herself up to love people -- even after having had more than one experience of being hurt and disappointed by her fellow human beings. And Bridget has had some pretty bad experiences with people. Those she thought were good have, at times, turned out to be douche-bags. She doesn't actually love those people, anymore (unless they were douche-bags in an unintentional, innocent type of way), but she lets herself go on loving new people. I would never do that. I don't do that. So, I really admire Bridget. And I wish I could be more like her.
Bridget is an exceedingly generous person, with both her time and her talents. She is also generous with her treasure -- even though she doesn't actually have any. If you're talking about percentages of net worth, Bridget probably gives more away than pretty much anybody else I know. For -- if you know Bridget -- you realize that she is, for health reasons, unable to work a normal job. She has a little home business (her Etsy store is The Bagel Box), making beautiful baby blankets and nursing covers and baby clothes. As you can imagine, this doesn't pull in a great deal of income. But Bridget still gives the people she loves gifts for all manner of special occasions. And she hates charging people for her baby items -- especially her friends, because she loves them, and wants to give them all things for free. She also donates regularly to her alma mater, because she tells me that they receive certain grants based on the percentage of alumni who donate. If I were Bridget, I would not even think that I should give money to my alma mater, being that I really didn't have an income. Bridget does it, though, cheerfully and without reservation. I am always telling her that she doesn't need to do this, but she ignores me. Bridget is also willing to help you out in any way that you need help, if you are her friend. Because she loves you. And I see that it truly makes Bridget happy to be generous. I ask her what her bank balance is, and she doesn't really know. I ask her if she actually has the time and energy to be helping out at church so much, and she always says she does. Even though I kind of know better. Last night, she hauled ass WAY down to La Mesa to help out with a choir that she isn't even going to perform with, because she knew the song they were rehearsing, and none of the other ladies did. They practiced the song for two hours and today Bridget has taken two doses of migraine medicine, thus far. I would be a little annoyed, if I were Bridget, but she is not in the least bit annoyed. Sometimes -- I admit -- I have to put a lid on all this generosity. I am glad, though, that she has such a giving heart. I'd rather have to put a stop to her once-in-a-while than have her be any different than how she is. She inspires me to be more generous myself, without worrying so much about my future assets.
I also see that because of her health problems and the -- not insignificant -- suffering they cause her, Bridget is developing a very deep spiritual life. Hers is not the kind of "spiritual life" that leads a person to become some sort of annoying "Christian motivational speaker." It is not the kind of "spiritual life" that leads one to judge other people who aren't being "Catholic enough." It is, rather, an authentic spiritual life, in which she is becoming closer to God and becoming great buddies with Him. They keep each other company. She doesn't talk about this, but I can see it. And I can tell she relies on this relationship with God, who is her friend (and because He is her friend, she loves Him, as she does all her friends) to sustain her in what she suffers because of her health. I also see that her spiritual life is authentic because of the way it leads her to be LESS judgmental and more open and loving to all kinds of people -- including her "hippie" mother, who loves nothing more than a good drum solo at Mass.
I know some of you are probably thinking that this is a rather boastful blog post. I don't mean it to be, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I just want Bridget to know that I do admire her. And I look up to her. Even when I tell her to stop writing those checks to TAC, for heaven's sake. ;-)
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