Friday, September 21, 2012

To Gray Or Not To Gray? -- That Is The Question

I don't know if you are at all involved with the Catholic Mom Blog-O-World.  But, if you are, you may have noticed that there is some controversy there surrounding the idea of "covering your gray."  Should nice, Catholic, middle-aged ladies highlight their hair, color their locks, hide that gray that is starting to appear (or which may have taken over completely)? 

So, again, I will throw my iron into the fire.

Now, sometimes, it seems to me, ladies who color their hair are looked upon by "traditional, conservative, Christian" women as being snobs, as not willing to accept the natural aging process which God has ordained for them.  You may think this is unfair or a total exaggeration, but I have seen it.  And do you know what?  What I have seen is a type of reverse snobbery going on here.  An attitude of:  "I will lord my gray hair over you -- you shallow, vain women who color your hair (or get manicures, pedicures, a bikini wax, wear make-up or fashionable clothes and accessories, who shop at Banana Republic, etc. etc. etc.)."  I have seen women sporting silver braids and shapeless denim jumpers really lay into their sisters in blond highlights and skinny jeans.  And I don't think this is a very charitable attitude.

My opinion (and as you may have noticed, I have a lot of opinions -- many of them probably wrong) is that a woman needs to have the sort of style with which she is comfortable.  She needs to arrange her personal appearance -- hair, outfits, shoes, jewelry -- in a way that makes her feel attractive.  And she needs to do this without judging what other women are doing.  You may be comfortable wearing a knee-length skirt and button-down blouse, but let's give credit to Diane Farr ( 41-year-old, married mother of three little ones) for pulling off that half-shirt beautifully.   And if you don't know who Diane Farr is, then Google her, read her books, and watch her in "Numb3rs" -- she is epic!!!

So, if you are comfortable with the silver fox look, good for you!  It is a beautiful look and it doesn't mean you are an "old lady."  You have earned those gray hairs -- every one of them.

But, if covering your gray makes you feel better -- like eating well and exercising make you feel better -- then go ahead and do it.  Don't let other women, or anyone else, guilt trip you into feeling like you are being a shallow person.  You can be just as kind and charitable with highlights in your hair as another woman might be while jauntily sporting her gray locks.

And that's what it comes right down to, isn't it?  Being a kind, loving, warm, charitable person.  And you can do that no matter what your "look" might be.  Heck, you can even do that with tattoos.  Does anybody want to get a tattoo?  Sometimes I do. Like maybe a little butterfly on my shoulder.... ;-)

1 comment:

  1. i have this loose idea that I'll let my hair go natural at 65 which thankfully is still quite a way off :-)
    Regarding vanity, once I noticed a mom at a homeschool conference who proudly wore her white hair long and parted-in-the-middle.
    I thought, well, good for her... until I noticed the thick fringe of her white mustache.
    Maybe there's a point at which 'not being vain' can be taken too far!