One of the reasons I like Ben McKenzie is that he gives me lots of ideas for things to blog about. Thanks, Mr. McKenzie!
For example, he did an interview (thoughtfully put online by the lovely lady from "Ben McKenzie News") in which he talks about four things he looks for in a gal. Two of them, in particular, struck me.
2. a good pair of legs.
I'm not sure if this interview was originally in print or done live. But, I imagine -- especially if it was done live -- that when he said the thing about the legs, at least 75% of the females who were listening to him looked down at their own pair, wondering if they measured up to Mr. McKenzie's standards. After all, he did not describe in any sort of detail what kinds of characteristics he looks for in legs. Does he like them long or short? Should the muscles be well-defined or softer and rounder? Are the calves or thighs of more interest to him? How about the knees? Does he care for tan skin or fair? I mean, when you start thinking about it, the whole thing can get a little overwhelming.
And this leads me to the idea of confidence.
In my experience, ladies don't tend to have a lot of confidence in their legs (or in their bodies, in general). They tend to be extremely hard on themselves -- and on each other. They complain that one part is "too fat," another part is "too thin." They tell themselves that they are "too bony" here or "too flabby" there. They put themselves under a dissecting microscope and have at it, judging themselves in the harshest manner.
All of this makes me sad.
Because, now that I am 50 and looking at my daughters (who are 23 and 24), at their friends, at the young women in my little town, and at all the youthful ladies I see as I travel here and there for various reasons, I realize something. Virtually all young women (and by that, I mean those 35 and under) are lovely. Please don't get me wrong. Older women are lovely, too. But, it's the younger ones who are especially hard on themselves, so they are the ones I am addressing right now.
So, young women, hear me. You are beautiful. Most of you groom yourselves well. You shower and do your hair and put something on that makes you feel pretty. You smile and laugh and have fun. You have spunk. And you have nice legs, too. Whether they are a little larger or a little smaller, a bit longer or a tad shorter, your young legs look cute dressed in the stylish shorts, pants, and skirts that you wear. They look cute when you walk around with your friends, getting coffee in the mall or going to the movies or dancing in a club. And not just your legs look cute. The rest of you looks adorable, too.
Have a little confidence in yourselves. Have confidence that you are beautiful -- but not only that. Have confidence in your intelligence and your abilities. Let your natural goodness and enthusiasm shine through. And don't worry about what others might think of your legs or any other part of you. Be happy in yourselves. Know in your heart that you can create lives and friendships that will be rewarding and satisfying.
Because, I must admit, Mr. McKenzie does have a point. When you are confident, you will be attractive. But, it needs to be authentic confidence. The kind of confidence that -- if you happened to run into Mr. McKenzie somewhere -- would allow you to look him in the eye and smile warmly, not worrying about what he is thinking of your legs. For I believe that Mr. McKenzie -- seeming to be a truly good sort of guy -- and any other guy worth your time and attention, is going to be looking at the totality of you as a person. He's not going to be spending a great deal of time rating your body parts. A worthwhile guy wants to be with somebody who cares about him, who cares about others, who can converse with him about interesting things, and (maybe I am getting ahead of myself here, but what the hell) who might be a good mother. A good guy realizes that when he falls in love and makes a commitment that the woman he chooses is going to get older, along with her body parts. And he will have the maturity to deal with that.