God Is Not A Gumball Machine

You know what I mean?

This post is just my little old opinion.  I'm no theologian, or anything.

It just seems to me that, at times in life, we kinda expect God to be like a gumball machine.  Or a vending machine.  We want to put the right currency in and have delightful things come out.  We have a desire -- a good desire.  Or a need -- a real need.  Or a terrible situation that we want to see put aright.  So, we have our Masses said, we do our Novenas, we pray our Rosaries, we pray in our own sincere, heartfelt words -- our currency -- and we try to have true Christian hope that God will grant our petitions. 

Please don't get me wrong.  There's nothing wrong with any of that.  It's all good.

Sometimes, though, I see a little bit of a problem.

Sometimes, I see people fast and pray and do all the "right" things, and their prayers are answered according to their wishes.  They get the "gumball."  And people talk about how they got the desired outcome because of all these spiritual things they did, or because of their holiness, or because of their great faith.  Sometimes, people even encourage those who have a real need by telling them that if they just have faith enough that their prayer will be answered in the way they hope.  And when their prayer is answered "positively," everyone celebrates this great faith, the great spiritual efforts put forth.  Everyone talks about how good God is because the desired outcome was granted.

But, you know, plenty of times our prayers don't seem to be answered.  At least not in the way we want them to be.  There is plenty of effort by the "prayer warriors."  Nobody seems to be slacking off.  But, employment or health or the return of "prodigal" children does not happen.  And I kind of worry about this.  I worry that the people who don't have their prayers answered in the "right" way will feel that they did something wrong.  That somehow they are not deserving.  That God does not love them as much as He loves the people whose "wishes come true."

I think about this a lot.  And I began thinking about it more yesterday, because I read an article in which a Christian woman spoke about how many of her Christian friends and acquaintances became atheists because of the financial crisis.  They felt like they had done everything to the best of their ability to please God, and then He didn't seem to be holding up His end of the bargain when they lost so much -- jobs, homes, life savings -- in the economic crash. 

Now, I know plenty of people who have lost much, who don't seem to get their prayers answered, and they still have faith that God is there.  They have faith that He is using everything for their good.  But, it must be pretty tough for them when they see Christians rejoicing over someone else's good fortune, when they hear people talking about how good God is because he granted x, y, or z to someone.   I also wonder if, at times, people who want to be "good" Christians don't express their hurt and disappointment in the way God seems to be treating them, because they don't want to set a bad example for others.  They don't want to give scandal.  So, I think -- perhaps -- that there are times when people try to have faith, or try to give an outward impression of having faith, when they are really struggling inside and the rest of us just can't see it.

What to do?  I don't really know.  I guess I have just come to a place in my life where I feel that the only real alternative -- the only way for me to have faith -- is just to speak to God honestly.  I try to speak to Him about my life and others' lives, what I like and don't like, where I am happy and where I am disappointed.  I just lay it all out for Him.  And then I try to trust that He is there.  I try to trust that He loves me and everybody else, too.  I ask Him to get us all home to Him, somehow.  And I try not to talk too incredibly much in the face of other people's pain.  Because, in wanting to help somebody out, I can really talk too much.  So, now, I'm trying to be quieter, to just listen more, to just be there.  I don't talk about all the prayers we should do or the faith we should have or even how I trust God to send a good outcome.  I don't say, "I trust that God will fully heal so-and-so of their cancer." (Believe me, I have heard people say such things.)  Because I don't know that God will do that.  But, I do believe God is with us and loves us.  I don't always understand why He allows what He allows.  And I'm not going to pretend that I do.  I'm not going to put on an act.  So, I will just try to be present to those who are hurting, and I will just try to trust in the presence of God.  And I will trust Him to handle it when I get annoyed with Him for allowing crap to happen in the world.  He's big enough for that. 

Being "Called"

In the Catholic social circles in which I often find myself, there is a lot of talk about being "called."

Being called to a religious vocation.

Being called to marriage and/or parenthood.

Being called to the single life.

Being called to homeschooling.

Being called to a certain career.

Being called to a certain place to live.

Being called to start a school -- whether that be on the elementary, secondary, or college/university level.

And, yes, I think God does call people to things.  But, if we believe we are being called to something, or if we are living a certain lifestyle to which we believe we have been called, humility is very important.

Because, sometimes, it might be easy to confuse our own desires or tastes or psychological dispositions with being "called."  For example, some people say that God places certain desires in our hearts because He wants us to carry them out.  At times, this may be true.  But, this belief could also lead to some dangerous things -- depending on the state of our mental health, among other factors.

So, back to humility.

And I am thinking today of one certain type or aspect of humility -- the humility of listening to other people, even (and maybe especially) if they are critical of us.

If we can't thoughtfully listen to someone's criticisms of and probing questions about our important life decisions -- the things to which we believe we have been "called" -- maybe this is an indication that we are acting more out of our own will than God's.  I'm not saying it is pleasant to be criticized or questioned.  I am not saying that others will treat us in a respectful way when they wonder what in the heck we are thinking when we want to homeschool or start a university or whatever.  And if the person questioning us is not of our faith -- or any faith at all -- it might be very easy to dismiss him or her.  The thing is, though, God does send us other people to help us along the way, even people who are atheists or who are making certain choices that some might view as morally objectionable.  So, it might be a good idea to quiet our hearts and listen to these people, to give them thoughtful answers to their questions, to prayerfully ponder their criticisms in our hearts.  Because, at least in my own life, I have found that people who have been critical of me have often had good points -- points which, sometimes to my regret, I do not fully appreciate until it is too late to avert a negative consequence.  Listening to those who are not fully approving of us has another benefit.  It may not cause us to change our plans, but it might help us to enact those plans in a way that is wiser.

Having humility in the face of others' seemingly critical questioning is also helpful as we live out the lives or decisions to which we believe we have been "called."  For, even if we have made a generally good decision about the direction of our life, it is very easy to stumble along the way, to get off-track.  And there is a special danger if we have the idea that we have been called to something by God.  Having this belief can cause us to become a bit proud, a bit arrogant, a bit conceited.  We might start looking at our critics as being tools of the "dark side," sent to throw us off of the "path of righteousness."  We might start looking at natural obstacles as supernatural, causing us to make poor decisions, leading us to throw good people "under the bus," as we forge ahead in the doing of "God's work."

To tell you the truth, I have become increasingly skeptical about people telling me that they are "called" to something by the Lord, except in the case of a religious vocation.  But, even in the case of such a vocation, I am more comfortable with being told by a person, "I believe God may be calling me to the priesthood/religious life.  I am going to prayerfully explore the possibility," rather than someone boldly stating, "I am being called to the priesthood/religious life," with no doubt or hesitancy, whatsoever.  Because, to me, the doubt or hesitancy is what belies the attitude of humility -- the realization that it might not be God, but the person himself, who has a certain desire.

And as far as other things go -- other life choices which do not involve actual religious vocations -- it is my opinion that God offers us a choice out of many legitimate possibilities.  I don't think He's up in Heaven going, "Out of all these hundred choices, I want you to make choice number three."  Or, "You picked Sam instead of Matt?  You've got to be kidding Me.  Matt is the one I intended for you."  I really don't believe that's the way God works.  So, whether you homeschool or send your kids to school (public or private), whether you attend that Catholic college or San Diego State University, whether you marry Sam or Matt or nobody at all, whether you have one child or three or ten, whether you are an administrative assistant or a movie producer, have a little confidence that God can be pleased with you in any of these things.  Just love Him.  And know He loves you.  And do the best you can.  #pax