I would normally write this post tomorrow, after I had time to digest all the happenings of tonight's "SouthLAnd" episode. Due to circumstances beyond my control, though, I will be unable to blog for the next several days. So, I'm going to get some basic thoughts down and maybe come back to it next week, before the season finale.
My insides are still trembling from the happenings of this evening's show.
And I have to eat my words. At least some of them.
Ben is bad. As my daughter said, "Ben is bad. BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD." Yep. Totally and completely bad. I knew he had Elena's brother break into Sammy's house to steal the tape and some other stuff -- to make it look like a robbery. But, I admit, I didn't think he had it in him to have the young idiot wreck the place. I also believed he wouldn't want it to look like the gang had broken into Sammy's home. I thought Ben would figure that Sammy would go after Strokeface. But, I FORGOT one very important thing. Sammy had discouraged Ben from going after the gangsters who allegedly shot Mendoza. So, I guess Ben thought this meant that Sammy wouldn't go after Strokeface. Leave it to me to forget such an important piece of information. I guess it's a good thing I'm not a detective. If I were a detective, I'd have to have the world's greatest and most detailed detective notebook, or I would completely blow all my cases. But, Ben also forgot one very important fact. The fact of TESTOSTERONE and that Sammy has plenty of it. No self-respecting cop dude is going to let a gang break into and wreck his house and say to himself, "It's ok. I'm cool. I'll just relax and do the logical thing and let the detectives handle it." HA! Ben should have, as a guy himself, realized this. "Pride goeth before the fall," is the old saying. And Ben certainly has plenty of pride. Enough for several people, in fact. And it seems that his pride got in the way of his planning.
And I must apologize to Sammy. He is a saint. Well, maybe not a saint exactly. But, the questionable things he does are in NO WAY comparable to the crap Ben pulls. And when Sammy does wrong, his conscience does get the better of him and he backs away from the abyss. Ben just plunges over the edge. So, Sammy -- I am VERY, VERY sorry. I grovel in the dust at your feet. Although, I'm still not convinced you didn't steal the money from the robbery.
So, what can we expect from next week's season finale? I know Ben McKenzie tweeted that he is doing the pilot of his new show in second position to a sixth season of "SouthLAnd." I know he has stated that he loves "SouthLAnd" and wants to remain. I don't know what he will remain as, though. Is he going to join forces with Elena and her brother, going south of the border and eventually establishing himself as the new head of a big drug cartel? He certainly has the personality for that. "SouthLAnd" could go on for several more seasons, with the LAPD waging war against "Ben Sherman's Drugs 'R' Us." Heck, he could throw a little arms dealership in on the side. Maybe he will be caught, though, and he will spend Season 6 in prison, with much drama swirling about him. In my last post, I discussed the fact that Sammy is going to be in a helicopter in Episode 10, and I joked that perhaps he is chasing Officer Ben. Well, now I think I might have (inadvertently) been correct. Although, unlike I jokingly stated in that last post, there probably won't be any "Happily Ever After" for Ben Sherman.
It's possible that Ben McKenzie will do his new show -- "The Advocates" -- while occasionally popping by "SouthLAnd" to be on trial or run the cartel (or the bar, if he does get that happy ending I dreamed up for him). I don't know if that would be allowed in television land, though. It would be one heck of a contract negotiation.
I also heard a little something that made me believe that "The Advocates" is being looked at as one of the hot new shows for the upcoming season. So, was Ben McKenzie's tweeting just a little purposeful misinformation meant to throw us off track? Or, am I wrong again, like I was in thinking Officer Sherman hadn't done all of those wicked things? Time will tell...
And if Mr. McKenzie's tweeting was purposeful misinformation, I must admit that I will have a hard time believing anything he says ever again. But, I'll always be a fan. ;-)
Oh, one final thought. How is it that Brooke thinks that by giving b-jobs to all the other cops she is somehow going to make Officer Ben feel repentant or bad or whatever??? That girl makes no sense. But, she is colorful.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Ben Sherman's Little Love Triangle, Or -- Just A Silly "SouthLAnd" Post
This is just a silly post about my fave TV show. I am just going to be having fun. If you are not in the mood for silly or for fun, you should probably click away now.
The writing for "SouthLAnd" has always been outstanding. This year, though, those writers are outdoing themselves. And one thing that is just a little gem of storytelling in the midst of the whole glorious crown is "Ben's Little Love Triangle."
Toward the beginning of the current season, Ben and Sammy do a darling little community service puppet show for an elementary school class. This class is taught by a darling little teacher who recognizes Officer Ben from the LAPD recruiting posters. Barely able to contain her excitement in front of all her tiny charges, she manages to communicate to Officer Ben her attraction to him. Later in the episode, she calls him up and they arrange to meet for coffee at one of the more "sophisticated" coffee establishments favored by Officer Ben. He jokes with her that she needs to be careful of "talking to strangers" -- alluding to the chat which he and Sammy had earlier in the day with her class. But, in the end, he concedes that having coffee is probably a safe enough option. Little does he know that he, in this moment, should be heeding his own advice, as this darling little teacher is inevitably going to turn out to be "Psycho Chick."
(Aside: I had a feeling this little lady was going to end up being a problem for Officer Ben when she gave him a "B" for his "romantic performance." Anyone who has seen Officer Ben's alter ego kissing Marissa on the ferris wheel should know that he would never get a "B" in this area. So, from the very beginning, it was obvious there was a something awry with the mind of this beautiful woman.)
Meanwhile, though, before we know that Teacher Lady is actually Psycho Chick, Officer Ben -- for some reason known only to him -- takes up with another darling little lady. This lady's name is Elena, and she is an artist, cook, and lover extraordinaire. I think, at first, we are not really supposed to like her. We are, at that point, rooting for the schoolteacher. I mean, she is a SCHOOLTEACHER! Who could be more perfect for Officer Ben than a drop-dead gorgeous, well-educated, down-to-earth schoolteacher??? And in comes this little firecracker of a girl with a no-good brother who has no-good friends. "Ben," we are thinking, "BEN!!! What are you doing??? Have you lost your FREAKING MIND??? You have found the perfect woman, and you are SCREWING IT ALL UP!!! You are going to catch a disease and give it to the schoolteacher, and then she will break up with you and you will never get married and have beautiful babies!!!"
Those "SouthLAnd" writers, though. They were just playing little mind games with us. Because, as I said, the "perfect woman" is evidently an unstable loon -- while Elena is turning out to be the most lovable gal. She just adores Officer Ben. She is so nice to him. She cooks for him and fusses over him and begs him for a "quickie" in the morning. She sure as heckfire is not giving him any "B" in the "romance" department. She just loves him -- really, really loves him. And she is a doll.
I'm not saying I think Officer Ben necessarily deserves all this love and affection from this adorable girl. I'm just saying that maybe she is turning out to be the right one for him, after all. So, perhaps this is what will happen:
In episode 10, Sammy is going to be in a helicopter. (As I said in a previous post, I know this from Instagram.) What do I now think he will be doing in that helicopter? I think he is going to be chasing Officer Ben.
I believe Officer Ben is going to be found out for one or more of the following: murdering the pimp, lying to IA, and having Sammy's house broken into. I think he is going to run to Elena for help, as she probably has connections "south of the border." She and her brother are going to hide Officer Ben in a "borrowed" vehicle and make a run for her country of origin. And I think they're going to succeed in their escape, which will leave Sammy circling around in the helicopter with a rather frustrated look on his face.
Once they arrive at their destination -- a place where there will be many of Elena's friends and relatives waiting with open arms -- the local priest is going to frown disapprovingly at poor Officer Ben. He will want Officer Ben to do the right thing by Elena. And because this priest will let Officer Ben know that he has friends in the Border Patrol, Officer Ben will agree to marry Elena. Which won't be so bad, because Officer Ben really does (in his heart of hearts) love her.
So, there will be a wedding with wonderful food and music and ruffled dresses. Ben will open a bar, where he will mix the drinks, while Elena's brother wipes down the tables. Elena and Ben will have beautiful babies -- at least 5 of them. These babies will have beautiful, wavy, golden-brown hair. They will have beautiful golden-brown skin. They will have big hazel eyes. As they grow, they will run around the bar and sit in the customers' laps and make everybody smile and laugh. And Elena will, each and every morning for the rest of her and Ben's mutual life, beg him for a "quickie."
And they will live happily ever after.
--- THE END ---
The writing for "SouthLAnd" has always been outstanding. This year, though, those writers are outdoing themselves. And one thing that is just a little gem of storytelling in the midst of the whole glorious crown is "Ben's Little Love Triangle."
Toward the beginning of the current season, Ben and Sammy do a darling little community service puppet show for an elementary school class. This class is taught by a darling little teacher who recognizes Officer Ben from the LAPD recruiting posters. Barely able to contain her excitement in front of all her tiny charges, she manages to communicate to Officer Ben her attraction to him. Later in the episode, she calls him up and they arrange to meet for coffee at one of the more "sophisticated" coffee establishments favored by Officer Ben. He jokes with her that she needs to be careful of "talking to strangers" -- alluding to the chat which he and Sammy had earlier in the day with her class. But, in the end, he concedes that having coffee is probably a safe enough option. Little does he know that he, in this moment, should be heeding his own advice, as this darling little teacher is inevitably going to turn out to be "Psycho Chick."
(Aside: I had a feeling this little lady was going to end up being a problem for Officer Ben when she gave him a "B" for his "romantic performance." Anyone who has seen Officer Ben's alter ego kissing Marissa on the ferris wheel should know that he would never get a "B" in this area. So, from the very beginning, it was obvious there was a something awry with the mind of this beautiful woman.)
Meanwhile, though, before we know that Teacher Lady is actually Psycho Chick, Officer Ben -- for some reason known only to him -- takes up with another darling little lady. This lady's name is Elena, and she is an artist, cook, and lover extraordinaire. I think, at first, we are not really supposed to like her. We are, at that point, rooting for the schoolteacher. I mean, she is a SCHOOLTEACHER! Who could be more perfect for Officer Ben than a drop-dead gorgeous, well-educated, down-to-earth schoolteacher??? And in comes this little firecracker of a girl with a no-good brother who has no-good friends. "Ben," we are thinking, "BEN!!! What are you doing??? Have you lost your FREAKING MIND??? You have found the perfect woman, and you are SCREWING IT ALL UP!!! You are going to catch a disease and give it to the schoolteacher, and then she will break up with you and you will never get married and have beautiful babies!!!"
Those "SouthLAnd" writers, though. They were just playing little mind games with us. Because, as I said, the "perfect woman" is evidently an unstable loon -- while Elena is turning out to be the most lovable gal. She just adores Officer Ben. She is so nice to him. She cooks for him and fusses over him and begs him for a "quickie" in the morning. She sure as heckfire is not giving him any "B" in the "romance" department. She just loves him -- really, really loves him. And she is a doll.
I'm not saying I think Officer Ben necessarily deserves all this love and affection from this adorable girl. I'm just saying that maybe she is turning out to be the right one for him, after all. So, perhaps this is what will happen:
In episode 10, Sammy is going to be in a helicopter. (As I said in a previous post, I know this from Instagram.) What do I now think he will be doing in that helicopter? I think he is going to be chasing Officer Ben.
I believe Officer Ben is going to be found out for one or more of the following: murdering the pimp, lying to IA, and having Sammy's house broken into. I think he is going to run to Elena for help, as she probably has connections "south of the border." She and her brother are going to hide Officer Ben in a "borrowed" vehicle and make a run for her country of origin. And I think they're going to succeed in their escape, which will leave Sammy circling around in the helicopter with a rather frustrated look on his face.
Once they arrive at their destination -- a place where there will be many of Elena's friends and relatives waiting with open arms -- the local priest is going to frown disapprovingly at poor Officer Ben. He will want Officer Ben to do the right thing by Elena. And because this priest will let Officer Ben know that he has friends in the Border Patrol, Officer Ben will agree to marry Elena. Which won't be so bad, because Officer Ben really does (in his heart of hearts) love her.
So, there will be a wedding with wonderful food and music and ruffled dresses. Ben will open a bar, where he will mix the drinks, while Elena's brother wipes down the tables. Elena and Ben will have beautiful babies -- at least 5 of them. These babies will have beautiful, wavy, golden-brown hair. They will have beautiful golden-brown skin. They will have big hazel eyes. As they grow, they will run around the bar and sit in the customers' laps and make everybody smile and laugh. And Elena will, each and every morning for the rest of her and Ben's mutual life, beg him for a "quickie."
And they will live happily ever after.
--- THE END ---
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Saint Sammy Bryant???
So, right about now, all of us "SouthLAnd" fans are feeling pretty bad for old Sammy Bryant (played most excellently well by one Mr. Shawn Hatosy). His crazy ex-wife has basically bankrupted him, threatened to ruin his career, and take his little boy away. His crazy partner has just hired a rather dim-witted young man to break into his house and steal stuff. And either that same crazy partner or a very evil gang is responsible for the graffiti all over his living room walls, the broken glass all over his floors, and his son's semi-conscious babysitter. Sammy can't catch a break, it seems. And he is such a nice guy. He just wants to raise his little boy in peace, ride around in his police car with a guy who doesn't murder pimps in cold blood (and is perhaps, even more importantly, willing to buy a cup of coffee that doesn't cost an hour's pay), and maybe even have a date once in a while. Saint Sammy.
Let us, though, remember a couple of things.
Saint Sammy is not so perfect, either. HE STOLE THE FREAKING MONEY FROM THE FREAKING ROBBERY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. And he was probably in the process of stealing it when Officer Ben was busy being beaten up on the train by the suspect. I mean, I grant you, it wasn't Sammy's fault that he was separated from Ben. But, he should have been busy worrying about Ben instead of taking their separation as an opportunity to gather up wads of cash in some surreptitious manner.
Yes, you could say this was all for Nate. Which it was. I mean, Sammy needed to get his plumbing fixed, and he didn't have the money because of all the legal bills brought about by the actions of his crazy ex-wife. I understand that he was backed into a corner. I understand his actions were selfless. He just wanted to take care of his son. But, he STOLE the money from the ROBBERY. He could go to prison for that. So, when we all get up in arms about poor Sammy and about how Ben could go to prison for a B&E, we should consider this. Sammy could have just borrowed the money from Ben. I'm sure Ben -- who seems to be constantly flush with cash -- would have helped him out.
Secondly, who asked Ben to lie to IA about the tape in the first place? Sammy. Yes, Saint Sammy arranged with Ben to lie to IA. They went to the trouble of getting their stories straight and everything. And it was Sammy who said to Ben, during Season 4, I believe: "You always have your partner's back. Especially when he's wrong." So, Ben was just doing what his more senior partner asked of him. Just being a good friend. I wonder how Sammy would have reacted if Ben had refused to lie to IA about anything. Hmmm.......
So, I'm sure you can understand how totally pissed Ben was when Sammy started threatening to "confess" his lies to IA. Sammy would totally have been throwing Ben under the bus. I'm sure that's how Ben justified the B&E to himself. He probably figured that he wasn't being any worse than Sammy had been to him in asking him to lie to IA. Tit for tat. When we start getting all uppity about Ben, then, are we really being fair? "Ben, you are so terrible. You had the dim bulb break into Sammy's house. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO THAT??? You have gone over to the DARK SIDE!!!"
Please know that I realize I am being pretty ridiculous here. I don't think it was morally right for anybody to be stealing or lying or breaking in. I just find it intriguing that, even though Ben has done some pretty bad stuff, we don't really seem to be noticing that Sammy isn't quite perfect, either.
You know when I realized Sammy's lack of perfection? During the whole toilet paper argument with Tammy. You remember? Sammy wanted Tammy to be more "fiscally responsible" and he got all over her for going to Walgreen's instead of the Box Club to buy toilet paper.
Yes, Tammy is crazy. But, in the midst of all her craziness, Sammy did not handle himself very well. He was never very patient. He didn't really listen to her side of things. He wanted her to be somebody she could never be. And he could get really obstreperous and loud about it all.
The marriage of Tammy and Sammy was obviously doomed. But, he caused it to crash and burn more spectacularly than was necessary. Now he is paying the piper.
And he is paying the piper with Ben, too, because he has not handled that relationship well, either. He selfishly asked Ben to do immoral and illegal things. Ben did them. He did them for Sammy -- his partner and friend. And then Sammy -- at least in Ben's mind -- started threatening (in a pretty serious way) to "screw" him.
So, I don't see any saints here. I see a bad situation created by the unethical decisions of both parties.
I can't wait to see how it all turns out... :-)
Let us, though, remember a couple of things.
Saint Sammy is not so perfect, either. HE STOLE THE FREAKING MONEY FROM THE FREAKING ROBBERY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. And he was probably in the process of stealing it when Officer Ben was busy being beaten up on the train by the suspect. I mean, I grant you, it wasn't Sammy's fault that he was separated from Ben. But, he should have been busy worrying about Ben instead of taking their separation as an opportunity to gather up wads of cash in some surreptitious manner.
Yes, you could say this was all for Nate. Which it was. I mean, Sammy needed to get his plumbing fixed, and he didn't have the money because of all the legal bills brought about by the actions of his crazy ex-wife. I understand that he was backed into a corner. I understand his actions were selfless. He just wanted to take care of his son. But, he STOLE the money from the ROBBERY. He could go to prison for that. So, when we all get up in arms about poor Sammy and about how Ben could go to prison for a B&E, we should consider this. Sammy could have just borrowed the money from Ben. I'm sure Ben -- who seems to be constantly flush with cash -- would have helped him out.
Secondly, who asked Ben to lie to IA about the tape in the first place? Sammy. Yes, Saint Sammy arranged with Ben to lie to IA. They went to the trouble of getting their stories straight and everything. And it was Sammy who said to Ben, during Season 4, I believe: "You always have your partner's back. Especially when he's wrong." So, Ben was just doing what his more senior partner asked of him. Just being a good friend. I wonder how Sammy would have reacted if Ben had refused to lie to IA about anything. Hmmm.......
So, I'm sure you can understand how totally pissed Ben was when Sammy started threatening to "confess" his lies to IA. Sammy would totally have been throwing Ben under the bus. I'm sure that's how Ben justified the B&E to himself. He probably figured that he wasn't being any worse than Sammy had been to him in asking him to lie to IA. Tit for tat. When we start getting all uppity about Ben, then, are we really being fair? "Ben, you are so terrible. You had the dim bulb break into Sammy's house. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO THAT??? You have gone over to the DARK SIDE!!!"
Please know that I realize I am being pretty ridiculous here. I don't think it was morally right for anybody to be stealing or lying or breaking in. I just find it intriguing that, even though Ben has done some pretty bad stuff, we don't really seem to be noticing that Sammy isn't quite perfect, either.
You know when I realized Sammy's lack of perfection? During the whole toilet paper argument with Tammy. You remember? Sammy wanted Tammy to be more "fiscally responsible" and he got all over her for going to Walgreen's instead of the Box Club to buy toilet paper.
Yes, Tammy is crazy. But, in the midst of all her craziness, Sammy did not handle himself very well. He was never very patient. He didn't really listen to her side of things. He wanted her to be somebody she could never be. And he could get really obstreperous and loud about it all.
The marriage of Tammy and Sammy was obviously doomed. But, he caused it to crash and burn more spectacularly than was necessary. Now he is paying the piper.
And he is paying the piper with Ben, too, because he has not handled that relationship well, either. He selfishly asked Ben to do immoral and illegal things. Ben did them. He did them for Sammy -- his partner and friend. And then Sammy -- at least in Ben's mind -- started threatening (in a pretty serious way) to "screw" him.
So, I don't see any saints here. I see a bad situation created by the unethical decisions of both parties.
I can't wait to see how it all turns out... :-)
Mercy Sunday, Lena Dunham, And The Missiles Of Righteous Wrath
Today, for Catholics, is Mercy Sunday. It is a time for remembering and celebrating the mercy of God. And for reflecting on how we should show mercy to others.
This has gotten me to thinking about Twitter. I love Twitter. I have "met" (if you can call it that) many wonderful people there.
When I first started using Twitter, I naturally followed some Catholic and Christian stay-at-home mom types. I figured we would have things in common. I also followed some artsy people -- cinematographers and directors and actors and producers and writers. I find that world quite fascinating, even though I don't consider myself to be very creative. And most of the people I have encountered on Twitter have been delightful and kind and funny and interesting. I have greatly enjoyed their "company."
I am going to describe an interesting experience I had, though. I hope nobody takes this as an insult, or anything. It is just an experience I had that caused me to reflect, and I think it is relevant to the whole idea of mercy.
Around election time, back in the fall, many people's opinions were being tossed around all over Twitter. There were liberal opinions and conservative opinions and moderate opinions. Of course, being a Catholic, I was reading opinions of the other Catholic and Christian stay-at-home moms. I was also being exposed to the opinions of the people those moms were listening to, by virtue of the "retweet" option on Twitter. And some of those opinions had to do with a young lady by the name of Lena Dunham. She had done an ad for the Obama campaign, the aim of which was to encourage young people to vote. She compared voting for the first time to having sex for the first time.
And the Catholic and Christian and conservative people pretty much went apoplectic over this ad. Interested by their vociferous Tweets, I Googled the ad and watched it for myself. And I giggled. Well, I pretty much laughed really, really hard.
I then went back and sent a Tweet to a couple of the Catholic ladies telling them that I thought the ad was kind of funny. I didn't mean any offense, or anything. Then hell proceeded to rain down upon me from the Catholic/conservative corners of the Twittersphere. I sort of didn't expect that. I thought we could all have our opinions and be respectful of each other. I thought we could try to see each others points of view. I thought we could all have a SENSE OF HUMOR. Well, I was wrong.
I felt sort of bad for making these poor moms stressed out with my opinion of Lena's ad. A lot of these moms have many kids and homeschool and are quite tired, so I didn't intend to further complicate their lives with my obviously misguided thoughts.
This whole thing got me thinking, though, about kindness and mercy. Especially where Christians are concerned.
Now, as a Christian, I probably have most of the same ideas about sexual morals as these people who fired their Missiles Of Righteous Wrath down on me. And how did these Missiles Of Righteous Wrath make me feel? On the one hand, I was kind of amused. On the other hand, I felt a little angry. Why? Because, as Christians, we have to think about how our words and actions and attitudes towards people -- even actors -- will affect them. If you hope that somebody will come to see and feel God's love, it is not helpful if you just shit (pardon my French) all over that person and his/her opinions. I mean, if I were Lena and I read some of the stuff religious people were saying about me and my ad, I would just think to myself, "Screw those self-righteous people. Long live the HHS mandate!" I would not be thinking about how I really wanted to go to Church now and socialize with all the Church people at their Church festival. I would get as far away as I possibly could from them and all their self-righteous ways. And, as I recall, Jesus himself did not care too much for the self-righteous, for the hypocrites. In fact, he tended to go to a lot of parties with a lot of people who were probably a lot like Lena Dunham. Because -- you know what? People like that are the people with the hearts yearning for love. They are the people with the open hearts. They are the people who yearn for fairness and justice. They are also a lot of fun. And I think Jesus liked to have fun, or he wouldn't have been going to all these parties.
Please don't misunderstand me here. I am NOT saying that you should be kind to people, that you should befriend them, because you want to convert them. That is NOT what I am saying. I have had people befriend me for that reason and, trust me, it did not feel good. That is not friendship. A friendship is based on mutual acceptance. It is unconditional. It exists in spite of differences. It respects and appreciates differences.
So, saying that, I hope my little diatribe has not been too offensive. And may we all reflect, on this beautiful Feast of Mercy, on how we can be a little kinder, a little more loving -- a little more merciful.
P.S. -- If you look at the people I follow on Twitter, in order to find the offending parties written about herein, you will not succeed.
This has gotten me to thinking about Twitter. I love Twitter. I have "met" (if you can call it that) many wonderful people there.
When I first started using Twitter, I naturally followed some Catholic and Christian stay-at-home mom types. I figured we would have things in common. I also followed some artsy people -- cinematographers and directors and actors and producers and writers. I find that world quite fascinating, even though I don't consider myself to be very creative. And most of the people I have encountered on Twitter have been delightful and kind and funny and interesting. I have greatly enjoyed their "company."
I am going to describe an interesting experience I had, though. I hope nobody takes this as an insult, or anything. It is just an experience I had that caused me to reflect, and I think it is relevant to the whole idea of mercy.
Around election time, back in the fall, many people's opinions were being tossed around all over Twitter. There were liberal opinions and conservative opinions and moderate opinions. Of course, being a Catholic, I was reading opinions of the other Catholic and Christian stay-at-home moms. I was also being exposed to the opinions of the people those moms were listening to, by virtue of the "retweet" option on Twitter. And some of those opinions had to do with a young lady by the name of Lena Dunham. She had done an ad for the Obama campaign, the aim of which was to encourage young people to vote. She compared voting for the first time to having sex for the first time.
And the Catholic and Christian and conservative people pretty much went apoplectic over this ad. Interested by their vociferous Tweets, I Googled the ad and watched it for myself. And I giggled. Well, I pretty much laughed really, really hard.
I then went back and sent a Tweet to a couple of the Catholic ladies telling them that I thought the ad was kind of funny. I didn't mean any offense, or anything. Then hell proceeded to rain down upon me from the Catholic/conservative corners of the Twittersphere. I sort of didn't expect that. I thought we could all have our opinions and be respectful of each other. I thought we could try to see each others points of view. I thought we could all have a SENSE OF HUMOR. Well, I was wrong.
I felt sort of bad for making these poor moms stressed out with my opinion of Lena's ad. A lot of these moms have many kids and homeschool and are quite tired, so I didn't intend to further complicate their lives with my obviously misguided thoughts.
This whole thing got me thinking, though, about kindness and mercy. Especially where Christians are concerned.
Now, as a Christian, I probably have most of the same ideas about sexual morals as these people who fired their Missiles Of Righteous Wrath down on me. And how did these Missiles Of Righteous Wrath make me feel? On the one hand, I was kind of amused. On the other hand, I felt a little angry. Why? Because, as Christians, we have to think about how our words and actions and attitudes towards people -- even actors -- will affect them. If you hope that somebody will come to see and feel God's love, it is not helpful if you just shit (pardon my French) all over that person and his/her opinions. I mean, if I were Lena and I read some of the stuff religious people were saying about me and my ad, I would just think to myself, "Screw those self-righteous people. Long live the HHS mandate!" I would not be thinking about how I really wanted to go to Church now and socialize with all the Church people at their Church festival. I would get as far away as I possibly could from them and all their self-righteous ways. And, as I recall, Jesus himself did not care too much for the self-righteous, for the hypocrites. In fact, he tended to go to a lot of parties with a lot of people who were probably a lot like Lena Dunham. Because -- you know what? People like that are the people with the hearts yearning for love. They are the people with the open hearts. They are the people who yearn for fairness and justice. They are also a lot of fun. And I think Jesus liked to have fun, or he wouldn't have been going to all these parties.
Please don't misunderstand me here. I am NOT saying that you should be kind to people, that you should befriend them, because you want to convert them. That is NOT what I am saying. I have had people befriend me for that reason and, trust me, it did not feel good. That is not friendship. A friendship is based on mutual acceptance. It is unconditional. It exists in spite of differences. It respects and appreciates differences.
So, saying that, I hope my little diatribe has not been too offensive. And may we all reflect, on this beautiful Feast of Mercy, on how we can be a little kinder, a little more loving -- a little more merciful.
P.S. -- If you look at the people I follow on Twitter, in order to find the offending parties written about herein, you will not succeed.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
On The Other Hand -- SouthLAnd Episode 508 -- "The Felix Paradox"
In my previous post, I maintained that there were two break-ins at Sammy's house. One organized by Ben, using Elena's brother to steal the incriminating tape. The other organized by Strokeface's gang, after Sammy had an altercation earlier in the day with said bad guy. I alleged that these two break-ins had somehow converged, ending in an assault on little Nate's babysitter. I also alleged that Ben was being a true friend to Sammy by the end of the episode, helping him to defend his child and his home.
Well, I could be all washed up in that opinion. I admit it. But herein lies the difficulty. Elena's brother, frankly, does not seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. So, after Ben witnessed Sammy's argument with Strokeface, he would have had to, in a very short period of time, arrange with the pretty girl's male relative to imitate that specific gang -- right down to the perfection of the graffiti. Could Elena's sibling have handled that? I'm not sure. And Ben obviously was planning the tape heist before Sammy encountered Strokeface. As I recall, we see Ben talking on his cellphone at basically the same time as this encounter -- probably with Elena's brother. He said something to this effect: "If you have any questions, give me a call." It seems as though the plan was already formed and in motion. So, the addition to the plan of using Strokeface's people as the fall guys would have had to be made at the last minute.
It could have happened that way, though. Elena's brother could have been in the house, stealing the tape and spray-painting the walls when the babysitter unexpectedly arrived with Nate. Elena's brother may have freaked out, knocked the sitter down, and run away.
Morally, does it make that big of a difference if the situation happened one way or the other? Not in my opinion.
Logistically, though, having Elena's sibling imitate the Strokeface gang is going to create a lot more problems for Ben in the long run. Because Sammy is now going to go after Strokeface. And that's going to make everything more difficult for Ben than if he had just asked Elena's brother to go into the house and steal the tape along with a few other items (to make the incident look like an actual robbery). After all, if just the tape went missing, Detective Bryant would know what was up. Ben is smart. He would realize this. Therefore, it still seems to me that Strokeface had a hand in the whole incident. And I think Ben is genuinely scared for and worried about Sammy and Nate.
Many people are saying today that Ben has finally gone over the point of no return. They are saying that he is now a bad cop. Personally, I think that happened at the end of Season 4, when he murdered the pimp. And I do think it was a murder.
Might he be redeemed? Many say, "no." I think it is still possible. I think there is still some heart in him. What will it take to redeem him? Well, it will most likely involve some action or actions of his that have devastating consequences for which he cannot deny responsibility. He will have to "face the music" in a pretty life-altering way.
It could also be that Ben continues as a law enforcement officer -- sometimes being the hero, sometimes the crooked cop. And that could be very, very interesting for the show if he ends up as a detective. After all, it is unlikely that his involvement in the break-in at Sammy's house will be discovered, at least by anyone in any official capacity. Sammy might figure it out -- thus ending any kind of positive relationship between them. But, Sammy is unlikely to report Ben through official channels, as his part in the whole tape business would be found out. And I'm not sure he's ready to face the consequences of that. We'll see, though. Sammy does have a good conscience, and it's eating at him.
So, buckle up. Episode 9 is coming our way.
Well, I could be all washed up in that opinion. I admit it. But herein lies the difficulty. Elena's brother, frankly, does not seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. So, after Ben witnessed Sammy's argument with Strokeface, he would have had to, in a very short period of time, arrange with the pretty girl's male relative to imitate that specific gang -- right down to the perfection of the graffiti. Could Elena's sibling have handled that? I'm not sure. And Ben obviously was planning the tape heist before Sammy encountered Strokeface. As I recall, we see Ben talking on his cellphone at basically the same time as this encounter -- probably with Elena's brother. He said something to this effect: "If you have any questions, give me a call." It seems as though the plan was already formed and in motion. So, the addition to the plan of using Strokeface's people as the fall guys would have had to be made at the last minute.
It could have happened that way, though. Elena's brother could have been in the house, stealing the tape and spray-painting the walls when the babysitter unexpectedly arrived with Nate. Elena's brother may have freaked out, knocked the sitter down, and run away.
Morally, does it make that big of a difference if the situation happened one way or the other? Not in my opinion.
Logistically, though, having Elena's sibling imitate the Strokeface gang is going to create a lot more problems for Ben in the long run. Because Sammy is now going to go after Strokeface. And that's going to make everything more difficult for Ben than if he had just asked Elena's brother to go into the house and steal the tape along with a few other items (to make the incident look like an actual robbery). After all, if just the tape went missing, Detective Bryant would know what was up. Ben is smart. He would realize this. Therefore, it still seems to me that Strokeface had a hand in the whole incident. And I think Ben is genuinely scared for and worried about Sammy and Nate.
Many people are saying today that Ben has finally gone over the point of no return. They are saying that he is now a bad cop. Personally, I think that happened at the end of Season 4, when he murdered the pimp. And I do think it was a murder.
Might he be redeemed? Many say, "no." I think it is still possible. I think there is still some heart in him. What will it take to redeem him? Well, it will most likely involve some action or actions of his that have devastating consequences for which he cannot deny responsibility. He will have to "face the music" in a pretty life-altering way.
It could also be that Ben continues as a law enforcement officer -- sometimes being the hero, sometimes the crooked cop. And that could be very, very interesting for the show if he ends up as a detective. After all, it is unlikely that his involvement in the break-in at Sammy's house will be discovered, at least by anyone in any official capacity. Sammy might figure it out -- thus ending any kind of positive relationship between them. But, Sammy is unlikely to report Ben through official channels, as his part in the whole tape business would be found out. And I'm not sure he's ready to face the consequences of that. We'll see, though. Sammy does have a good conscience, and it's eating at him.
So, buckle up. Episode 9 is coming our way.
SouthLAnd Episode 508 -- "The Felix Paradox" -- My Take On It
Last night's episode of SouthLAnd -- "The Felix Paradox" -- certainly has fans a-tweeting and a-blogging. Including me.
What in the hell did Ben do, anyway?
In my opinion, there were two separate break-ins at Sammy's house. One, orchestrated by Ben -- getting Elena's brother to steal the incriminating tape. The other, orchestrated by the Strokeface gang. Somehow, these two break-ins converged. And I really don't believe Ben had anything to do with the actions of Strokeface's people. In the end, I think he is just as scared as Sammy over this turn of events. And he is also scared for Sammy. Because Ben, when all is said and done, truly is Sammy's friend -- at least as much of a friend as he is capable of being.
What really fascinates me about this episode, though, is people's reactions to it -- especially in light of the things Ben has done in the past. A lot of people seem to be genuinely shocked at Ben's actions in this episode. Albeit a lot of those people think Ben and/or Elena's brother (hired by Ben) may be responsible for the true violence that occurred at Sammy's house. As I said, I don't agree with this, for many reasons. I don't think Elena's brother is a violent person, for example. And I don't think Ben, even in desperation, would have asked any of the members of Strokeface's gang to break into Sammy's house. And I don't think Ben could have managed to get Elena's brother to somehow make it look like Strokeface's gang broke into Sammy's house. That just seems too far-fetched. We shall see.
But, whatever the details of Ben's actions, his actions were definitely wrong. And many people seem suddenly quite shocked at Ben for acting in this unethical manner.
Hello, people. No offense, but Ben has not been a nice guy for a while. It all started when Daisy dumped him. (Just kidding. But, not really. That did seem to be a bit of a turning point for old Ben.)
Ben has been flying around "under the radar" for a while on this show. I think people have perhaps been riveted by the wonderful performances and fascinating story lines of many of the other cast members. Maybe a lot of people have mistakenly seen Ben as a relatively simple character -- the smart and handsome new cop, trying to get his bearings in a tough job while making some understandable errors of judgement, chasing skirts (But, hell, why shouldn't he??? He's so hot, after all. And the ladies don't seem to be complaining.). And I think that because he is young and handsome and smart and capable and confident and new and someone you want to root for (at least that you wanted to root for), a lot about Ben has been overlooked, in both his actions and his ethical make-up.
Let's look at what happened at the end of Season 4. If you watch the end of that season, you will see Ben filing a gun. You will then see Ben making excuses for tracking down the evil pimp, while Sammy is in the hospital. You will watch as Ben chases the evil pimp to an area where nobody can observe either of them. The evil pimp ends up shot and killed. And -- ta-da -- there is a gun on the ground next to his poor, dead body. And where do you think that gun came from? I'll give you one guess. And I bet the identifying numbers on that gun have been filed off. Hello, dear people. But, this is first degree murder, I believe. So, now we are all shocked that Ben hired Elena's brother to sneak into Sammy's house to steal the tape?
Let's look at the womanizing behavior, too. I think there is a temptation to "wink-wink" at this. After all, Ben is just so cute. And he has those arm muscles. And he is so personable. And he's not hurting anybody, right? I mean, the ladies go after him just as much as he goes after them. It is very tempting to just view this behavior as innocuous. The "sewing of the wild oats," as we used to say. But, I disagree with this. I think Ben's attitude toward women belies a certain self-centeredness. A willingness to rationalize dishonesty. In short, it shows what a liar he can be. He is able to look into the eyes of both Brooke and Elena with that heartbreaking mug of his, making each feel that she is the only one. He is able to spend time with each of them, converse with each of them, go to bed with each of them, as if the other one doesn't exist. He often seems to be in each of their beds within the same 24-hour period (ewww...) and it doesn't seem to bother him in the least. Maybe I am a middle-aged lady. But, I am a sexual-revolutionary Boomer, and I think there is something very wrong here. I think we are observing in Ben some very serious moral shortcomings.
There are many other examples of Ben's morally dubious behavior and crass attitudes. There is the way he talks about the hooker who is having the retirement party. There is the time he tells Sammy that maybe Tammy is lying, and Nate really isn't his son. I mean, talk about cynical and totally insensitive to the fact that Sammy loves Nate with all his heart and soul. There is the way he got his old high school drug-dealer arrested. There is the manner in which he accepts the award for heroism, even though you can be sure he knows he doesn't deserve it. Then, at the strip-club celebration afterwards, he is happy to follow Officer Mendoza's suggestion to make himself scarce when things go awry. And do you recall how he practically strangles the prostitute in order to find out the whereabouts of the pimp (the one he ends up murdering)? Remember his propensity to punch out perps who are already handcuffed or otherwise indisposed? Remember how he acts toward the man who sexually assaulted his mother and knocked out his teeth -- threatening him after he is released from prison? And last -- but, certainly not least -- there is his whole negative attitude toward dogs and vet bills. I mean, that says it all.
I think the SouthLAnd writers have been brilliantly stealthy with Officer Ben. There have been many little clues about the kind of person he really is -- and the kind of person he has been turning into. The numerous things that are attractively compelling about his character have sometimes tempted us to either miss or turn a blind eye to even the seriously crappy things that he does. We have so much wanted good for him. We have so much wanted him to be good. And our desire has, perhaps, clouded our vision.
What to take away from all this? Our preconceptions, our desires, our values color our way of seeing something. And when we are dealing with a person we really want to admire, when we are dealing with a situation that we really want to turn out a certain way, we often interpret what we see in a manner that is most amenable to our point of view. That can be very dangerous.
Way to go SouthLAnd. What a lesson for us, what a reminder, in this day and age in which we live.
What in the hell did Ben do, anyway?
In my opinion, there were two separate break-ins at Sammy's house. One, orchestrated by Ben -- getting Elena's brother to steal the incriminating tape. The other, orchestrated by the Strokeface gang. Somehow, these two break-ins converged. And I really don't believe Ben had anything to do with the actions of Strokeface's people. In the end, I think he is just as scared as Sammy over this turn of events. And he is also scared for Sammy. Because Ben, when all is said and done, truly is Sammy's friend -- at least as much of a friend as he is capable of being.
What really fascinates me about this episode, though, is people's reactions to it -- especially in light of the things Ben has done in the past. A lot of people seem to be genuinely shocked at Ben's actions in this episode. Albeit a lot of those people think Ben and/or Elena's brother (hired by Ben) may be responsible for the true violence that occurred at Sammy's house. As I said, I don't agree with this, for many reasons. I don't think Elena's brother is a violent person, for example. And I don't think Ben, even in desperation, would have asked any of the members of Strokeface's gang to break into Sammy's house. And I don't think Ben could have managed to get Elena's brother to somehow make it look like Strokeface's gang broke into Sammy's house. That just seems too far-fetched. We shall see.
But, whatever the details of Ben's actions, his actions were definitely wrong. And many people seem suddenly quite shocked at Ben for acting in this unethical manner.
Hello, people. No offense, but Ben has not been a nice guy for a while. It all started when Daisy dumped him. (Just kidding. But, not really. That did seem to be a bit of a turning point for old Ben.)
Ben has been flying around "under the radar" for a while on this show. I think people have perhaps been riveted by the wonderful performances and fascinating story lines of many of the other cast members. Maybe a lot of people have mistakenly seen Ben as a relatively simple character -- the smart and handsome new cop, trying to get his bearings in a tough job while making some understandable errors of judgement, chasing skirts (But, hell, why shouldn't he??? He's so hot, after all. And the ladies don't seem to be complaining.). And I think that because he is young and handsome and smart and capable and confident and new and someone you want to root for (at least that you wanted to root for), a lot about Ben has been overlooked, in both his actions and his ethical make-up.
Let's look at what happened at the end of Season 4. If you watch the end of that season, you will see Ben filing a gun. You will then see Ben making excuses for tracking down the evil pimp, while Sammy is in the hospital. You will watch as Ben chases the evil pimp to an area where nobody can observe either of them. The evil pimp ends up shot and killed. And -- ta-da -- there is a gun on the ground next to his poor, dead body. And where do you think that gun came from? I'll give you one guess. And I bet the identifying numbers on that gun have been filed off. Hello, dear people. But, this is first degree murder, I believe. So, now we are all shocked that Ben hired Elena's brother to sneak into Sammy's house to steal the tape?
Let's look at the womanizing behavior, too. I think there is a temptation to "wink-wink" at this. After all, Ben is just so cute. And he has those arm muscles. And he is so personable. And he's not hurting anybody, right? I mean, the ladies go after him just as much as he goes after them. It is very tempting to just view this behavior as innocuous. The "sewing of the wild oats," as we used to say. But, I disagree with this. I think Ben's attitude toward women belies a certain self-centeredness. A willingness to rationalize dishonesty. In short, it shows what a liar he can be. He is able to look into the eyes of both Brooke and Elena with that heartbreaking mug of his, making each feel that she is the only one. He is able to spend time with each of them, converse with each of them, go to bed with each of them, as if the other one doesn't exist. He often seems to be in each of their beds within the same 24-hour period (ewww...) and it doesn't seem to bother him in the least. Maybe I am a middle-aged lady. But, I am a sexual-revolutionary Boomer, and I think there is something very wrong here. I think we are observing in Ben some very serious moral shortcomings.
There are many other examples of Ben's morally dubious behavior and crass attitudes. There is the way he talks about the hooker who is having the retirement party. There is the time he tells Sammy that maybe Tammy is lying, and Nate really isn't his son. I mean, talk about cynical and totally insensitive to the fact that Sammy loves Nate with all his heart and soul. There is the way he got his old high school drug-dealer arrested. There is the manner in which he accepts the award for heroism, even though you can be sure he knows he doesn't deserve it. Then, at the strip-club celebration afterwards, he is happy to follow Officer Mendoza's suggestion to make himself scarce when things go awry. And do you recall how he practically strangles the prostitute in order to find out the whereabouts of the pimp (the one he ends up murdering)? Remember his propensity to punch out perps who are already handcuffed or otherwise indisposed? Remember how he acts toward the man who sexually assaulted his mother and knocked out his teeth -- threatening him after he is released from prison? And last -- but, certainly not least -- there is his whole negative attitude toward dogs and vet bills. I mean, that says it all.
I think the SouthLAnd writers have been brilliantly stealthy with Officer Ben. There have been many little clues about the kind of person he really is -- and the kind of person he has been turning into. The numerous things that are attractively compelling about his character have sometimes tempted us to either miss or turn a blind eye to even the seriously crappy things that he does. We have so much wanted good for him. We have so much wanted him to be good. And our desire has, perhaps, clouded our vision.
What to take away from all this? Our preconceptions, our desires, our values color our way of seeing something. And when we are dealing with a person we really want to admire, when we are dealing with a situation that we really want to turn out a certain way, we often interpret what we see in a manner that is most amenable to our point of view. That can be very dangerous.
Way to go SouthLAnd. What a lesson for us, what a reminder, in this day and age in which we live.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Some Reflections On The Treatment Of Homosexual Persons In Our Society
I was very moved this morning when I saw a friend of mine -- a lovely young lady who is involved in a same-sex relationship -- express her sadness over all the friends she has lost because of her "lifestyle."
This young lady was raised in a very conservative Catholic home. She went to a very conservative Catholic college. Don't get me wrong, though. Her parents love her very much and I believe her relationship with them (and with her siblings) is very positive. I also know that she still has many friends from college who love her and support her. But, I am also fairly sure that a lot of the friends she has lost were of the religious conservative variety.
And this is quite unfortunate.
Now, some people who have distanced themselves from her may very likely still be her friends. They are probably just uncomfortable with the situation and don't know how to behave. Perhaps, with more maturity and reflection on the matter, they may again show her their friendship.
Some friends she has lost, though, may believe that by showing her friendship in a nonjudgmental way that they are somehow condoning her situation and contributing to her "sinfulness." Some of them may also be actively angry and disgusted with her. And these attitudes, in my opinion, are wrong.
What is it that makes a friend? Why should we be friends with somebody? A friend is someone of good character. A person you can trust and count on. A person who is kind and charitable. You don't have to agree on everything -- even "important" things. You don't even have to entirely approve of each others' lives. And you can accept a person, without accepting every opinion or action of that person -- even if those opinions or actions are "important."
And for those of us who call ourselves "Christian," we need to approach all others with the recognition of our own fallen nature. Every single person who is my friend is friends with a sinner. And I count myself the worst of all.
People know that I am a Catholic. My young woman friend knows I am a Catholic. So, she probably knows what my objective beliefs are. I don't have to rub her nose in them. I can just be her friend.
And what about her relationship. I respect it as her relationship. I believe her when she tells me that she loves her girlfriend. I enjoy her friendship. And I pray for all of us, without considering her to be any worse than I.
One of my daughters knows a gay man who has a spouse who is a gay man. She considers this man to be her good friend. In many situations, he has certainly acted as a friend to her. He knows she is a devout Catholic -- and he supports her in her faith. My daughter, though, has taken considerable heat from some of her "good" Catholic friends for calling this man her friend and for referring to his spouse as "his spouse." But, he has proven himself -- in his actions -- to be her friend. And she told me that she is going to respect his relationship by referring to it as he does. He, for his part, understands her position on the theological definition of sacramental "marriage." And he does not consider her to be a bigot or a "hater."
I really admire my daughter in her friendship with this man. I admire that she doesn't back down in her charity out of fear of losing the approval of other "religious" people. I admire her kindness and the true respect she shows her friend. To me, the relationship she has with this man should be a blueprint for how society should act in the face of all the controversy over the gay "lifestyle" and gay marriage.
Many people are tossing around the words of Pope Francis concerning gay marriage. To paraphrase, I believe he referred to it as a trap laid by the devil to trick the children of God. I would put forth a couple of thoughts about this. I read an article by a gay activist describing the interactions he had with the Pope when he was still a Cardinal in Argentina. The activist said that the Cardinal was actually very kind and understanding in their conversations -- even when the gay man talked about his same-sex relationship. The Pope, when he was a Cardinal, acted toward the homosexual person with charity. He didn't make him feel judged and condemned. He didn't refuse to associate with him. Secondly, there is more than one kind of trap that can be laid by the devil here. And I believe that the temptation to treat homosexual people -- even when they express the desire to marry -- with contempt and anger and scorn is, perhaps, the worst temptation of all.
And just in case you thought you were going to escape hearing about Ben McKenzie today, well... ;)
In the November elections, Mr. McKenzie did some rare Tweeting. Mr. McKenzie is an Obama person. And one of his Tweets was expressing his happiness that a gay woman had been elected to Congress. I -- as you are aware -- really like Mr. McKenzie. I think he is classy and intelligent. And I think his opinions -- even when different than mine -- are well thought out. He has also been very kind to my younger daughter when she was not feeling well. Although, he probably doesn't know that. So, when he "Tweeted," about this newly-elected Congresswoman, I thought about it. And I realized that many, many people still have ugly, mean, nasty attitudes about homosexual people. This is not right. This really should change. So, I do understand the happiness of the gay community and people who are pro-gay rights when homosexual people are elected to public office. And I hope these elections -- and friendships like I and my daughter have with gay people -- will help to create in society more true kindness toward individuals with same-sex attraction. For even if there are issues of theology and public policy on which there are disagreements, perhaps those disagreements can be discussed in an atmosphere that is truly and actually charitable.
This young lady was raised in a very conservative Catholic home. She went to a very conservative Catholic college. Don't get me wrong, though. Her parents love her very much and I believe her relationship with them (and with her siblings) is very positive. I also know that she still has many friends from college who love her and support her. But, I am also fairly sure that a lot of the friends she has lost were of the religious conservative variety.
And this is quite unfortunate.
Now, some people who have distanced themselves from her may very likely still be her friends. They are probably just uncomfortable with the situation and don't know how to behave. Perhaps, with more maturity and reflection on the matter, they may again show her their friendship.
Some friends she has lost, though, may believe that by showing her friendship in a nonjudgmental way that they are somehow condoning her situation and contributing to her "sinfulness." Some of them may also be actively angry and disgusted with her. And these attitudes, in my opinion, are wrong.
What is it that makes a friend? Why should we be friends with somebody? A friend is someone of good character. A person you can trust and count on. A person who is kind and charitable. You don't have to agree on everything -- even "important" things. You don't even have to entirely approve of each others' lives. And you can accept a person, without accepting every opinion or action of that person -- even if those opinions or actions are "important."
And for those of us who call ourselves "Christian," we need to approach all others with the recognition of our own fallen nature. Every single person who is my friend is friends with a sinner. And I count myself the worst of all.
People know that I am a Catholic. My young woman friend knows I am a Catholic. So, she probably knows what my objective beliefs are. I don't have to rub her nose in them. I can just be her friend.
And what about her relationship. I respect it as her relationship. I believe her when she tells me that she loves her girlfriend. I enjoy her friendship. And I pray for all of us, without considering her to be any worse than I.
One of my daughters knows a gay man who has a spouse who is a gay man. She considers this man to be her good friend. In many situations, he has certainly acted as a friend to her. He knows she is a devout Catholic -- and he supports her in her faith. My daughter, though, has taken considerable heat from some of her "good" Catholic friends for calling this man her friend and for referring to his spouse as "his spouse." But, he has proven himself -- in his actions -- to be her friend. And she told me that she is going to respect his relationship by referring to it as he does. He, for his part, understands her position on the theological definition of sacramental "marriage." And he does not consider her to be a bigot or a "hater."
I really admire my daughter in her friendship with this man. I admire that she doesn't back down in her charity out of fear of losing the approval of other "religious" people. I admire her kindness and the true respect she shows her friend. To me, the relationship she has with this man should be a blueprint for how society should act in the face of all the controversy over the gay "lifestyle" and gay marriage.
Many people are tossing around the words of Pope Francis concerning gay marriage. To paraphrase, I believe he referred to it as a trap laid by the devil to trick the children of God. I would put forth a couple of thoughts about this. I read an article by a gay activist describing the interactions he had with the Pope when he was still a Cardinal in Argentina. The activist said that the Cardinal was actually very kind and understanding in their conversations -- even when the gay man talked about his same-sex relationship. The Pope, when he was a Cardinal, acted toward the homosexual person with charity. He didn't make him feel judged and condemned. He didn't refuse to associate with him. Secondly, there is more than one kind of trap that can be laid by the devil here. And I believe that the temptation to treat homosexual people -- even when they express the desire to marry -- with contempt and anger and scorn is, perhaps, the worst temptation of all.
And just in case you thought you were going to escape hearing about Ben McKenzie today, well... ;)
In the November elections, Mr. McKenzie did some rare Tweeting. Mr. McKenzie is an Obama person. And one of his Tweets was expressing his happiness that a gay woman had been elected to Congress. I -- as you are aware -- really like Mr. McKenzie. I think he is classy and intelligent. And I think his opinions -- even when different than mine -- are well thought out. He has also been very kind to my younger daughter when she was not feeling well. Although, he probably doesn't know that. So, when he "Tweeted," about this newly-elected Congresswoman, I thought about it. And I realized that many, many people still have ugly, mean, nasty attitudes about homosexual people. This is not right. This really should change. So, I do understand the happiness of the gay community and people who are pro-gay rights when homosexual people are elected to public office. And I hope these elections -- and friendships like I and my daughter have with gay people -- will help to create in society more true kindness toward individuals with same-sex attraction. For even if there are issues of theology and public policy on which there are disagreements, perhaps those disagreements can be discussed in an atmosphere that is truly and actually charitable.
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