I read a blog post recently by a stay-at-home, homeschool mom in which she bemoaned the fact that homemaking seems to be turning into a lost art. She wondered if, not too far into the future, the art of homemaking will be something only read about in fictional tales of yore. And she seemed to be aiming at least a little bit of negative energy at the women of whose homemaking efforts and skills she disapproves.
I am a stay-at-home mom, too. I also homeschooled my kids for many years. And I have enjoyed my life. Are there things I regret, things I wish I had done differently? Yes. Do I see the negative side of homeschooling, as well as the many ways in which it benefited my kids? Yes. Do I romanticize homemaking? No. Well, at least not as much as some other people seem to. Can I be kind of a rebellious bitch? Yes. Definitely.
So, in the spirit of rebellious bitchiness, here is the way I look at things.
First of all, many years ago (when I was a little girl), most women were home the majority of the time, but it was often out of necessity more than desire. For example, there was no Trader Joe's, or any type of food that could be prepared conveniently and in little time. Women had to cook from scratch, for the most part. There were no dish washers. The dish soap was not as good, thus necessitating more scrubbing. Stores such as Target -- which provide a variety of relatively inexpensive clothes -- did not exist. Women had to do at least some sewing. There were no cotton/poly blends, so most clothes had to be ironed. A lot of people didn't even have clothes driers, thus time had to be spent hanging the wash out on lines and then taking it back in. Floors did not have easy-to-clean finishes. They had to be stripped of their old wax and re-waxed regularly. Same with the wood furniture. Freezers had to be defrosted about every week -- manually. This meant emptying the freezer of its contents, turning it off, filling it with pots of boiling water, and then cleaning up the melting ice before it got all over the place. Baby bottles needed to be sterilized every day, because this was before pediatricians realized it really wasn't necessary. Doctors also required mothers to prepare baby formula daily using sterilized water Some women did nurse their babies, but it was not as common back then as it is now. And women who did nurse their babies generally didn't do it for very long. A lot of families only had one car, too -- usually used by the dad of the house to get to work -- which really put a crimp in the style of any mom who wanted to leave the house regularly.
So, when I see women criticizing other women for not attending properly to the art of homemaking, but instead working and bringing their kids to many after-school and summertime activities, I get a little annoyed. Especially when some of these critical women are bringing their kids to PLENTY of extra-curricular activities, which take up plenty of time. In fact, I have seen these critical women bristle when other, even more "traditional" women criticize them for putting their kids into too many sports and stuff. I mean, COME ON PEOPLE, maybe we should mind our own business and allow moms and dads to make their own decisions about their own kids and family styles. Maybe when are tempted to look to long and hard at others, we should instead turn our gaze to Ben McKenzie in "SouthLAnd." Um... I mean... to our own business.
I will close out with a little personal history. My dear cousin and her dear husband have three kids (now young adults) who are about the same ages as my three kids (also now young adults). Her kids went to school and did many sports and activities. They weren't home all that much. Their mom was not overly-concerned about the state of the corners of her kitchen floor. She also worked two days a week in a wonderful career field in which she excelled (and still excels). On top of it all, this remarkable mother earned a teaching credential while raising her kids. I, as I said, did homeschool. My kids were involved in activites, but not quite as many. I was a tad too concerned about the state of the corners of my kitchen floor. Did my kids turn out better than hers? Not at all. Not one teeny, tiny little bit better. All our kids are wonderful kids, making their way in the world as responsible, happy young adults. Would people rather come to my house than hers? Is my house warmer and more welcoming? Again, not at all. In fact, most people would rather go to her house. The food at her parties is better. And the atmosphere is full of fun. My point? Creating a wonderful family and a wonderful home can be done in many ways, including by ignoring the "art of homemaking" to a very large degree. It is the loving welcome that matters, not the organization of the linen closet.
In my opinion, anyway. ;-)
Showing posts with label homemaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homemaking. Show all posts
Monday, July 29, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
The Making Of Beds
I have not spoken about this online before now, as I just didn't know what to say. On December 7, my mom went in for elective heart surgery to replace her aortic valve. Things have not gone well, and she is still in the hospital, with a long road ahead. So, if you are a praying type of person, please keep her in yours. Good thoughts and well-wishes are also much appreciated.
That leads me to my story. As I was making my way about my house this morning, doing what moms do -- laundry, dishes, tidying up -- I went into my daughter Bridget's room. She has been gone for several days, having a lovely visit with friends out on the East Coast. I began to make her bed, so it would look all nice and inviting for her when she returns. Her bedspread is of an old-fashioned variety, like the kind my mother has always had on her own bed. It is a white cotton, with raised patterns of flowers and a decorative fringe around the edges. Bridget told me a couple of years ago that she had wanted a bedspread like this since she was a little girl -- one like her grandma's. So, I got it for her as a Christmas gift that year.
And as I smoothed this bedspread out over my girlie's bed this morning, with the warm sun shining in through the big windows, I thought about my mom and the rituals she created around the making of beds when I was growing up. Our bedding always consisted of the following: white linens (fitted sheet, flat sheet, pillowcase) -- never any other color; one blanket during the summertime and two in the winter -- always the type of blanket with the satin edging; and a formal bedspread -- never a throw or comforter. When we were small, my mother made all the beds every day. EVERY DAY. And when we were bigger, we were required to make our beds every day, in the way that she carefully taught us. The fitted sheet was to be smoothed out and the flat sheet was tucked in with tidy square corners at the bottom of the mattress. The top of the flat sheet was folded down over the top of the blanket(s). The blanket(s) and flat sheet were tucked under the mattress all along the sides and bottom. The bedspread was then laid over everything and folded down at the top. The pillow was then plumped -- not a step to be skipped -- and laid at the top of the bed. Lastly, the part of the bedspread that had been folded down was pulled over the top of the pillow and tucked in behind it. Thus, all you could see was the pretty bedspread from the top of the bed to its foot.
Now, this bedmaking technique was required on Sundays -- no exceptions. During the week and especially on Saturdays, though, a slight variation might be allowed. This variation consisted in doing everything exactly as stated above, but the bedspread could be folded in thirds, neatly and precisely, at the foot of the bed. My mother considered this the "less formal look," hence the "never on Sundays" rule.
Each evening, also, had its ritual concerning the bedding. Between 5:00 and 5:45, as my mom was preparing the dinner, one of us kids was assigned the task of "pulling down" the beds. If the bedspread was covering the entire bed, it was pulled down and folded in thirds (as described in the above paragraph). The blanket(s) and flat sheet might also be folded back -- neatly, always neatly. And the pillow was again plumped. Thus, all was arranged for a tired little (or big) person to go to sleep at the end of the day.
It is probably apparent to you that my mother has always been quite the homemaker. And one of the things that makes me especially sad about her hospitalization is the fact that I know she is missing being at her house and doing all of the things she enjoyed doing there each day. My mom has never considered any of these things to be onerous duties. She has thoroughly enjoyed her role of making the home a clean, lovely place to be. And, even though I have not emulated her entirely, her example has been of enormous value to me in creating my own home for my own family. And the remembrance of my mom's ways has always given me a happy heart. Nobody's growing up is a perfect thing -- and sometimes my mom's "extreme homemaking" could be irritating. But, it was also heartwarming -- and a valuable skill not easy to learn or emulate.
That leads me to my story. As I was making my way about my house this morning, doing what moms do -- laundry, dishes, tidying up -- I went into my daughter Bridget's room. She has been gone for several days, having a lovely visit with friends out on the East Coast. I began to make her bed, so it would look all nice and inviting for her when she returns. Her bedspread is of an old-fashioned variety, like the kind my mother has always had on her own bed. It is a white cotton, with raised patterns of flowers and a decorative fringe around the edges. Bridget told me a couple of years ago that she had wanted a bedspread like this since she was a little girl -- one like her grandma's. So, I got it for her as a Christmas gift that year.
And as I smoothed this bedspread out over my girlie's bed this morning, with the warm sun shining in through the big windows, I thought about my mom and the rituals she created around the making of beds when I was growing up. Our bedding always consisted of the following: white linens (fitted sheet, flat sheet, pillowcase) -- never any other color; one blanket during the summertime and two in the winter -- always the type of blanket with the satin edging; and a formal bedspread -- never a throw or comforter. When we were small, my mother made all the beds every day. EVERY DAY. And when we were bigger, we were required to make our beds every day, in the way that she carefully taught us. The fitted sheet was to be smoothed out and the flat sheet was tucked in with tidy square corners at the bottom of the mattress. The top of the flat sheet was folded down over the top of the blanket(s). The blanket(s) and flat sheet were tucked under the mattress all along the sides and bottom. The bedspread was then laid over everything and folded down at the top. The pillow was then plumped -- not a step to be skipped -- and laid at the top of the bed. Lastly, the part of the bedspread that had been folded down was pulled over the top of the pillow and tucked in behind it. Thus, all you could see was the pretty bedspread from the top of the bed to its foot.
Now, this bedmaking technique was required on Sundays -- no exceptions. During the week and especially on Saturdays, though, a slight variation might be allowed. This variation consisted in doing everything exactly as stated above, but the bedspread could be folded in thirds, neatly and precisely, at the foot of the bed. My mother considered this the "less formal look," hence the "never on Sundays" rule.
Each evening, also, had its ritual concerning the bedding. Between 5:00 and 5:45, as my mom was preparing the dinner, one of us kids was assigned the task of "pulling down" the beds. If the bedspread was covering the entire bed, it was pulled down and folded in thirds (as described in the above paragraph). The blanket(s) and flat sheet might also be folded back -- neatly, always neatly. And the pillow was again plumped. Thus, all was arranged for a tired little (or big) person to go to sleep at the end of the day.
It is probably apparent to you that my mother has always been quite the homemaker. And one of the things that makes me especially sad about her hospitalization is the fact that I know she is missing being at her house and doing all of the things she enjoyed doing there each day. My mom has never considered any of these things to be onerous duties. She has thoroughly enjoyed her role of making the home a clean, lovely place to be. And, even though I have not emulated her entirely, her example has been of enormous value to me in creating my own home for my own family. And the remembrance of my mom's ways has always given me a happy heart. Nobody's growing up is a perfect thing -- and sometimes my mom's "extreme homemaking" could be irritating. But, it was also heartwarming -- and a valuable skill not easy to learn or emulate.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Monday Morning Almanac
There is a lovely Catholic mom who is named Elizabeth Foss. She has a blog that I love; and she always does these Monday Morning Almanac things. So, I thought I would try it, too. But, I am a little different than her -- so, my post will be different, too... Hope you enjoy!
I FIND MYSELF:
*Noticing God's Glory: There is algae growing in my doughboy pool and in my birdbath. There is a gigantic orange spider living in its intricate web on the sliding door which leads from my kitchen to my back yard. And there is a 15-foot ant trail going from the outside of the house, through the garage, under the wall that is between the garage and the inside of the house, and into the downstairs bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, the ants circle around its perimeter and go back out the way they came in. Now, if you really study these things, instead of just trying to kill them off -- you cannot possibly freaking tell me that their is no God. No offense, or anything...
*Listening To: Van Halen. There is no better way to keep the passion alive in your marriage than by listening to Van Halen, either by yourself or with your spouse. People could save a lot of money on marriage counseling if they realized this simple fact. Rock on, Eddie...
*Clothing Myself In: Tennis shoes that have holes in them. Jeans that, though they may not be perfectly sexy, fit. A yellow cotton LL Bean t-shirt. And a pink hoodie with navy blue stripes around the cuffs, waistband, and the inside of the hood. I look like an Easter egg on top. But, after I shower, I will put on one of my Harley shirts...
*Talking With My Daughters About: How dudes sometimes suck, but that there are also plenty of nice ones. My advice to them is to find one of the nice ones -- one of the nice ones who is also hot. I mean, why sell yourself short?
*Talking With My Son About: Army ROTC and how cool the whole military thing is. I refuse to be one of those nervous nelly moms, as that attitude would not be in conformity with my Van Halen-listening, Harley-t-shirt wearing persona.
*Thinking And Thinking: About sex. Yeah. I'm Italian.
*Pondering Prayerfully: Three of the nicest people I have known in my life have worked for -- or been volunteers for -- Planned Parenthood. Go figure. The Lord loves to challenge us, doesn't he?
*Carefully Cultivating Rhythm: Zumba. Have you ever heard of it? A mix of aerobics and Latin-type
dance moves. I try to do it at least four times a week.
*Creating By Hand: Sorry. I just don't do this.
*Learning Lessons In: How to let my house be a little bit messy. I am kind of a neatnik. Well...I am a total neatnik. But, this makes everyone else in the family sort of frustrated. So, I am learning to happily appreciate messes that are happily made by people who are baking, quilting, scrap-booking, putting together fashion outfits, and working on music.
*Encouraging Learning: One of the drawbacks of homeschooling and sending my kids to good Catholic Colleges? They have not had a lot of exposure to people of different "stripes." I am trying to rectify this. After all, people of different "stripes" can be a hell of a lot of fun.
*Begging Prayers: One of my daughters is experiencing significant health challenges. Pretty tough when you're a fun-loving 22-year-old. If you're a praying type of person, please say a little one for her. If you're not a praying type of person, please hold her in your thoughts.
*Keeping House: Trying to do less of this. See "Learning Lessons In" above.
*Crafting In The Kitchen: Thank goodness for Trader Joe's. That's all I can say. Chopping and measuring and sifting and I just don't see eye-to-eye.
*Loving The Moments: When my husband gets a little smile and a little twinkle in his eye that make him look just like he did when I met him 27 years ago. This happens a lot when he listens to Van Halen. Long live Eddie...
*Giving Thanks: That I get to be a wife and mother. Couldn't want anything more.
*Living The Liturgy: Advent is coming. I'm not sure exactly when, but I know there will be an announcement in the church bulletin. If I miss it in the church bulletin, I will know it when I see the purple stuff in the church. Then I will make sure to go to Confession. Maybe I will even get an Advent wreath for my house. I say this every year, but it has not happened yet. Well -- maybe it happened once or twice. A domestic decorating goddess, I am not.
*Planning For The Week Ahead: This is basically pointless, as life has taught me many times. But, I absolutely have to get the oil changed in the minivan.
I FIND MYSELF:
*Noticing God's Glory: There is algae growing in my doughboy pool and in my birdbath. There is a gigantic orange spider living in its intricate web on the sliding door which leads from my kitchen to my back yard. And there is a 15-foot ant trail going from the outside of the house, through the garage, under the wall that is between the garage and the inside of the house, and into the downstairs bathroom. Once inside the bathroom, the ants circle around its perimeter and go back out the way they came in. Now, if you really study these things, instead of just trying to kill them off -- you cannot possibly freaking tell me that their is no God. No offense, or anything...
*Listening To: Van Halen. There is no better way to keep the passion alive in your marriage than by listening to Van Halen, either by yourself or with your spouse. People could save a lot of money on marriage counseling if they realized this simple fact. Rock on, Eddie...
*Clothing Myself In: Tennis shoes that have holes in them. Jeans that, though they may not be perfectly sexy, fit. A yellow cotton LL Bean t-shirt. And a pink hoodie with navy blue stripes around the cuffs, waistband, and the inside of the hood. I look like an Easter egg on top. But, after I shower, I will put on one of my Harley shirts...
*Talking With My Daughters About: How dudes sometimes suck, but that there are also plenty of nice ones. My advice to them is to find one of the nice ones -- one of the nice ones who is also hot. I mean, why sell yourself short?
*Talking With My Son About: Army ROTC and how cool the whole military thing is. I refuse to be one of those nervous nelly moms, as that attitude would not be in conformity with my Van Halen-listening, Harley-t-shirt wearing persona.
*Thinking And Thinking: About sex. Yeah. I'm Italian.
*Pondering Prayerfully: Three of the nicest people I have known in my life have worked for -- or been volunteers for -- Planned Parenthood. Go figure. The Lord loves to challenge us, doesn't he?
*Carefully Cultivating Rhythm: Zumba. Have you ever heard of it? A mix of aerobics and Latin-type
dance moves. I try to do it at least four times a week.
*Creating By Hand: Sorry. I just don't do this.
*Learning Lessons In: How to let my house be a little bit messy. I am kind of a neatnik. Well...I am a total neatnik. But, this makes everyone else in the family sort of frustrated. So, I am learning to happily appreciate messes that are happily made by people who are baking, quilting, scrap-booking, putting together fashion outfits, and working on music.
*Encouraging Learning: One of the drawbacks of homeschooling and sending my kids to good Catholic Colleges? They have not had a lot of exposure to people of different "stripes." I am trying to rectify this. After all, people of different "stripes" can be a hell of a lot of fun.
*Begging Prayers: One of my daughters is experiencing significant health challenges. Pretty tough when you're a fun-loving 22-year-old. If you're a praying type of person, please say a little one for her. If you're not a praying type of person, please hold her in your thoughts.
*Keeping House: Trying to do less of this. See "Learning Lessons In" above.
*Crafting In The Kitchen: Thank goodness for Trader Joe's. That's all I can say. Chopping and measuring and sifting and I just don't see eye-to-eye.
*Loving The Moments: When my husband gets a little smile and a little twinkle in his eye that make him look just like he did when I met him 27 years ago. This happens a lot when he listens to Van Halen. Long live Eddie...
*Giving Thanks: That I get to be a wife and mother. Couldn't want anything more.
*Living The Liturgy: Advent is coming. I'm not sure exactly when, but I know there will be an announcement in the church bulletin. If I miss it in the church bulletin, I will know it when I see the purple stuff in the church. Then I will make sure to go to Confession. Maybe I will even get an Advent wreath for my house. I say this every year, but it has not happened yet. Well -- maybe it happened once or twice. A domestic decorating goddess, I am not.
*Planning For The Week Ahead: This is basically pointless, as life has taught me many times. But, I absolutely have to get the oil changed in the minivan.
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