I have learned that there is a rather prestigious university that offers a course based on the TV series "The O.C." So, I have decided to propose such a course based on the series "SouthLAnd" for my daughter's alma mater, John Paul the Great Catholic University (referred to herein as JP Catholic).
JP Catholic is a university which concentrates on instructing students in the areas of entrepreneurial business and media. One of the degrees offered is a B.S. in Communications Media with an emphasis in Entertainment Media. The course which I am proposing would be particularly applicable to this degree.
"SouthLAnd" is a television series centering around the lives and work of officers of the Los Angeles Police Department. It is a work of fiction, but the storylines are based on the actual experiences of these officers. The show began its run in 2008 and will be entering its 5th season on the network TNT in February of 2013.
Media students may benefit from the study of the following aspects of "SouthLAnd":
1. technical -- cinematography and sound: "SouthLAnd" is filmed primarily on location using hand-held cameras. Much of the work is done outdoors. A lot of the action and dialogue take place in moving vehicles. These things present special challenges to the film-maker. Learning how these challenges are met by the technical crew of "SouthLAnd" would be invaluable to the students.
2. writing -- The students will:
a. examine how character arcs are adequately developed when a series contains a relatively large number of main characters, as this show does.
b. study how the development of each character in this show leads to many possibilities for future plot lines. The students may also practice writing future plot lines for the various personas, with a special emphasis on keeping each one appropriately in character, and yet letting each develop in a manner that would be engaging to an audience.
c. learn how to write appropriately for this specific genre, asking -- for each type of character -- how he/she would think, speak, and behave. This may be a bit difficult for young film students, but is an essential part of learning to write a story well.
3. directing -- The students will:
a. study how this job is structured when a show is as complex as "SouthLAnd". Each show involves many locations, scenes, and story lines. Is the job delegated to many assistant directors? If so, how much say does the principal director have over the decisions of the assistant directors? How do they coordinate their activities? If the show is directed -- for the most part -- by one person, how does that individual schedule his/her time in order to complete each episode efficiently? How does that individual ensure the quality of each episode when being bound by a tight shooting schedule?
b. examine how to direct a show that may contain some disturbing elements -- such as the violence which would necessarily be a part of this type of series. The students will ask themselves how these elements can be realistically and appropriately portrayed. I believe "SouthLAnd" does an excellent job with this, and the students could greatly benefit from a study of it.
c. examine how to direct a show that contains some elements that may be personally uncomfortable for them -- such as strong language and sexual content. How does a director handle these scenes, so as to ensure the show's realism, while at the same time ensuring that the cast and crew are treated with dignity.
4. production: "SouthLAnd" utilizes many different locations and sets for each episode. The students will study how such a complex series is managed by those tasked with both securing locations and props and decorating sets.
5. public relations and marketing -- The students will:
a. learn how a target audience for a show such as "SouthLAnd" is determined.
b. learn how a target audience for this show would be reached and how the marketing of the show to that target audience would be best accomplished, based on that audience's demographic.
c. ask themselves what type of television network would be a good fit for a show of this genre, and learn how to best pitch that show to such a network.
d. discover how the cooperation of the LAPD has been enlisted for the production of "SouthLAnd". What was necessary for that cooperation to come about? What is necessary for that cooperation to be sustained over several seasons?
6. Catholic thought -- As this is a Catholic university, the students can examine this show relative to Catholic teaching, as follows:
a. The students will ask themselves what qualities of each character and character arc, and which elements of the individual episodes and overall story lines, are consistent with authentic Catholic teaching. Having discovered this, they can examine how these things are presented in a way that is believable and sensitive, not "preachy" or condescending.
b. The students will also ask themselves what elements of the show are not strictly in line with Catholic thought. They will be asked to discuss, in a way which invites their sincere opinions:
*Is it appropriate for a Catholic person to incorporate non-Catholic ideas into his/her stories?
*If not, why not?
*If so, why?
*How can the inclusion of non-Catholic, or even anti-Catholic, ideas in a television show contribute to beneficial discourse in our society between people of differing opinions?
If you are still reading at this point, thank-you for lending a listening ear to this proposal. I realize that it is problematic in various ways. For example, the students would have to actually watch the show. How they would accomplish that would have to be determined. And the scope of the course I have outlined is quite broad, so it would probably have to be narrowed down quite a bit. I do think, though, that this type of course would benefit an aspiring film-maker. And a case study can be a very valuable learning experience, as the merely conceptual takes on a more concrete form.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
So, My Daughter Says That I Am A...
...Feminist.
Huh???
Well...perhaps I am. A little bit. Maybe.
I was driving around town with Bridget (my 22-year-old girlie) one day. We were doing things like going to The Dollar Store and Starbucks. It was great fun, as she is very entertaining. And we started to talk about actresses. I said that I think it is cool how actresses these days are so very diverse, as compared to when I was a kid. When I was growing up, actresses -- typically -- seemed to be required to be caucasian, with large breasts, small waists, and tiny noses. They also tended to lack well-developed muscles, as that was generally considered to be unfeminine. Now you see actresses of different races and mixed race, with larger noses, figures that aren't 36-24-36, and some pretty epic arm muscles. And these actresses are portraying beautiful and sexually alluring characters. I mentioned how on "SouthLAnd" -- yes, there I go again with "SouthLAnd" -- one of the characters who had bit of a "romance" with the character of Officer Ben Sherman (if you can call any of the things that Officer Ben does with women "romance," in the traditional sense of the word) was an absolutely beautiful girl, but not your "typical" Hollywood type. Racially, she appeared to be some lovely combination of black and white, or perhaps black and Latina. She was rather petite, but strongly built. And she had a great figure -- although with a bust to hip ratio not traditionally seen amongst women who play sexy females in movies and TV. This actress's character -- besides being one of Officer Ben's "love" interests -- was also a cop. And the woman was AMAZING in the role. So, not to belabor my point anymore, I expressed to Bridget my delight that Hollywood is beginning to appreciate and cast a more diverse group of women to play characters that are both smart and attractive. Based on this opinion of mine -- combined with other things I have been saying lately -- Bridget told me, "Mommy, when I was growing up, I never realized what a feminist you are."
I am sorry if I did not quote you in a totally exact fashion, Bridget. I have done my best to be accurate.
Anyway, this made me laugh. I asked her, "Do you really think I'm a feminist?" To which she replied in the affirmative.
I had never been called a "feminist" before -- in my entire life. In fact, most women think of me as the opposite. I mean, I eschewed having a career to be a wife and mom -- in the 80's, mind you. And the majority of women I knew were quite incredulous that I would do that. Most of my friends who worked sincerely wondered how I wasn't bored being at home with the kids. I was pretty much seen as the "anti-feminist" amongst my peers.
So, I began to wonder -- both aloud and silently -- about my "feminist" self. And I came to a couple of conclusions.
My first conclusion is that I am just sort of a rebel. If the people I am around are one way, I tend to go the other way. And when I was young, most women were into the feminist sexual revolution in one way or another. So, I just had to push back. And, in more recent years, I have been around women who tend to be, for lack of a better term, "militant traditionalists." So, I have had to stake out an opposing position, just for fun. Yeah. I am sort of a pain in the ass.
But (and this is my second conclusion), if my rebel nature has a more reasoned aspect to it, maybe it is this. I like to look at things fairly. I like to be treated fairly and see others treated thusly. And I hope that all women can be appreciated for their unique qualities -- physical, mental, and spiritual. I have seen the feminist movement and the "militant traditionalist" movement both try to define the female nature too narrowly. One of these viewpoints would almost have us throw out any concept of femininity and the value of motherhood, while the other proclaims that women who have careers and don't stay with their children 24/7 are denying their femininity and shirking their true duty. I don't find the truth in either of these extremes. And I don't want my daughters being put "into a box" as far as their life choices go. I want them to be able to dream their dreams, have their goals, and make their plans -- without a false view of womanhood interfering.
I will now sum this post up with a little anecdote. When I was growing up, my favorite TV shows were "Dragnet", "Adam 12", and "Emergency". I so much wanted to be a cop or a paramedic, and I mentioned this to my father one day when I was probably about 9 or 10 years old. He replied, "I don't think they allow women to do those things." Now, lest you get the wrong idea, my father did not come across as being opposed to women doing those jobs. He was just stating the facts, as he knew them. But, I was appalled and horrified. I did not want to be a nurse or a stewardess or a secretary or a teacher (although a teacher is what I did become). I wanted to be a cop or a paramedic. And the thought that being a female -- and only the fact of being a female -- would keep me from one of those careers was devastating. Now, I do believe that a woman needs to be able to fulfill the requirements of a job -- including the physical requirements -- in order to be allowed to do it. And that, in the end, is why I didn't choose to become a cop or a paramedic. I just didn't feel that I was up to snuff in the physical strength department. But, this experience of being told that I couldn't do a certain type of work solely because of my gender probably caused me to develop whatever feminist leanings I do possess.
So, here's to all the ladies! I hope you will all be appreciated for your beauty and be allowed to dream your dreams, whether those dreams are of hearth and home or breaking down a door with Michael Cudlitz. #SouthLAnd ;-)
Huh???
Well...perhaps I am. A little bit. Maybe.
I was driving around town with Bridget (my 22-year-old girlie) one day. We were doing things like going to The Dollar Store and Starbucks. It was great fun, as she is very entertaining. And we started to talk about actresses. I said that I think it is cool how actresses these days are so very diverse, as compared to when I was a kid. When I was growing up, actresses -- typically -- seemed to be required to be caucasian, with large breasts, small waists, and tiny noses. They also tended to lack well-developed muscles, as that was generally considered to be unfeminine. Now you see actresses of different races and mixed race, with larger noses, figures that aren't 36-24-36, and some pretty epic arm muscles. And these actresses are portraying beautiful and sexually alluring characters. I mentioned how on "SouthLAnd" -- yes, there I go again with "SouthLAnd" -- one of the characters who had bit of a "romance" with the character of Officer Ben Sherman (if you can call any of the things that Officer Ben does with women "romance," in the traditional sense of the word) was an absolutely beautiful girl, but not your "typical" Hollywood type. Racially, she appeared to be some lovely combination of black and white, or perhaps black and Latina. She was rather petite, but strongly built. And she had a great figure -- although with a bust to hip ratio not traditionally seen amongst women who play sexy females in movies and TV. This actress's character -- besides being one of Officer Ben's "love" interests -- was also a cop. And the woman was AMAZING in the role. So, not to belabor my point anymore, I expressed to Bridget my delight that Hollywood is beginning to appreciate and cast a more diverse group of women to play characters that are both smart and attractive. Based on this opinion of mine -- combined with other things I have been saying lately -- Bridget told me, "Mommy, when I was growing up, I never realized what a feminist you are."
I am sorry if I did not quote you in a totally exact fashion, Bridget. I have done my best to be accurate.
Anyway, this made me laugh. I asked her, "Do you really think I'm a feminist?" To which she replied in the affirmative.
I had never been called a "feminist" before -- in my entire life. In fact, most women think of me as the opposite. I mean, I eschewed having a career to be a wife and mom -- in the 80's, mind you. And the majority of women I knew were quite incredulous that I would do that. Most of my friends who worked sincerely wondered how I wasn't bored being at home with the kids. I was pretty much seen as the "anti-feminist" amongst my peers.
So, I began to wonder -- both aloud and silently -- about my "feminist" self. And I came to a couple of conclusions.
My first conclusion is that I am just sort of a rebel. If the people I am around are one way, I tend to go the other way. And when I was young, most women were into the feminist sexual revolution in one way or another. So, I just had to push back. And, in more recent years, I have been around women who tend to be, for lack of a better term, "militant traditionalists." So, I have had to stake out an opposing position, just for fun. Yeah. I am sort of a pain in the ass.
But (and this is my second conclusion), if my rebel nature has a more reasoned aspect to it, maybe it is this. I like to look at things fairly. I like to be treated fairly and see others treated thusly. And I hope that all women can be appreciated for their unique qualities -- physical, mental, and spiritual. I have seen the feminist movement and the "militant traditionalist" movement both try to define the female nature too narrowly. One of these viewpoints would almost have us throw out any concept of femininity and the value of motherhood, while the other proclaims that women who have careers and don't stay with their children 24/7 are denying their femininity and shirking their true duty. I don't find the truth in either of these extremes. And I don't want my daughters being put "into a box" as far as their life choices go. I want them to be able to dream their dreams, have their goals, and make their plans -- without a false view of womanhood interfering.
I will now sum this post up with a little anecdote. When I was growing up, my favorite TV shows were "Dragnet", "Adam 12", and "Emergency". I so much wanted to be a cop or a paramedic, and I mentioned this to my father one day when I was probably about 9 or 10 years old. He replied, "I don't think they allow women to do those things." Now, lest you get the wrong idea, my father did not come across as being opposed to women doing those jobs. He was just stating the facts, as he knew them. But, I was appalled and horrified. I did not want to be a nurse or a stewardess or a secretary or a teacher (although a teacher is what I did become). I wanted to be a cop or a paramedic. And the thought that being a female -- and only the fact of being a female -- would keep me from one of those careers was devastating. Now, I do believe that a woman needs to be able to fulfill the requirements of a job -- including the physical requirements -- in order to be allowed to do it. And that, in the end, is why I didn't choose to become a cop or a paramedic. I just didn't feel that I was up to snuff in the physical strength department. But, this experience of being told that I couldn't do a certain type of work solely because of my gender probably caused me to develop whatever feminist leanings I do possess.
So, here's to all the ladies! I hope you will all be appreciated for your beauty and be allowed to dream your dreams, whether those dreams are of hearth and home or breaking down a door with Michael Cudlitz. #SouthLAnd ;-)
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Turkeys In Black Glad Trash Bags -- And -- If You Fall Out Of Your Wedding Dress
Happy Thanksgiving!
First, I will talk about the wedding dress thing.
My younger daughter, Bridget, was telling me that a friend of a friend was wearing a strapless wedding dress for her special day. While dancing at the reception, she had a wardrobe malfunction -- and fell out of said dress. My daughter was expressing to me how utterly humiliating such a thing would be. Her eyes were big and her face was rather red as she imagined having this experience. "Listen," I told her, "If that happens to you, you just shove it back in and keep on dancing. No. Big. Deal." There are much larger problems in life than accidentally flashing your wedding guests.
I don't know why I thought of telling you about this. But, there it is.
Now, onto the Thanksgiving-related story.
While I was growing up -- and well beyond -- my mother hosted Thanksgiving every year. My mother is an excellent cook and a fine thrower of excellent parties. She is also very neat and tidy and detail-oriented. So, within a couple of hours of the end of the meal, the leftover turkey would always, ALWAYS be completely carved up and laid appealingly on plates in the refrigerator. And this is how I thought everybody did it.
Then, at age 22, I met my husband. The day following Thanksgiving, I was hanging out at his family's house. His mother had also cooked a fine meal for the holiday. As lunchtime approached, my then-boyfriend and I decided to make some turkey sandwiches. Upon opening the refrigerator, I saw a large black trash bag, of the GLAD brand. Looking inside, I saw the leftover turkey. The WHOLE turkey carcass, mind you. Meat, bones, everything -- still intact. With the leftover stuffing still inside it. My husband took the bag containing the turkey out of the fridge and we cut some meat off the bones, scooped some stuffing from the cavity, and made sandwiches. And he was acting, the entire time, as if this was a totally normal thing. A leftover turkey carcass, complete with stuffing, inside a trash bag, in the refrigerator. I was floored. I would never, for the life of me, have imagined such a thing. And I thought it was SO COOL!
What is the significance of this story? Well, it is a Thanksgiving story -- and today is Thanksgiving. But, it also basically reflects the nature of my husband's and my relationship. It reflects our individual upbringings and ways of looking at life. It reflects how those two upbringings and ways of looking at life meet each other in pretty much every situation that we encounter. And I think it is a formula that works out quite satisfactorily. Usually, anyhow. ;-)
First, I will talk about the wedding dress thing.
My younger daughter, Bridget, was telling me that a friend of a friend was wearing a strapless wedding dress for her special day. While dancing at the reception, she had a wardrobe malfunction -- and fell out of said dress. My daughter was expressing to me how utterly humiliating such a thing would be. Her eyes were big and her face was rather red as she imagined having this experience. "Listen," I told her, "If that happens to you, you just shove it back in and keep on dancing. No. Big. Deal." There are much larger problems in life than accidentally flashing your wedding guests.
I don't know why I thought of telling you about this. But, there it is.
Now, onto the Thanksgiving-related story.
While I was growing up -- and well beyond -- my mother hosted Thanksgiving every year. My mother is an excellent cook and a fine thrower of excellent parties. She is also very neat and tidy and detail-oriented. So, within a couple of hours of the end of the meal, the leftover turkey would always, ALWAYS be completely carved up and laid appealingly on plates in the refrigerator. And this is how I thought everybody did it.
Then, at age 22, I met my husband. The day following Thanksgiving, I was hanging out at his family's house. His mother had also cooked a fine meal for the holiday. As lunchtime approached, my then-boyfriend and I decided to make some turkey sandwiches. Upon opening the refrigerator, I saw a large black trash bag, of the GLAD brand. Looking inside, I saw the leftover turkey. The WHOLE turkey carcass, mind you. Meat, bones, everything -- still intact. With the leftover stuffing still inside it. My husband took the bag containing the turkey out of the fridge and we cut some meat off the bones, scooped some stuffing from the cavity, and made sandwiches. And he was acting, the entire time, as if this was a totally normal thing. A leftover turkey carcass, complete with stuffing, inside a trash bag, in the refrigerator. I was floored. I would never, for the life of me, have imagined such a thing. And I thought it was SO COOL!
What is the significance of this story? Well, it is a Thanksgiving story -- and today is Thanksgiving. But, it also basically reflects the nature of my husband's and my relationship. It reflects our individual upbringings and ways of looking at life. It reflects how those two upbringings and ways of looking at life meet each other in pretty much every situation that we encounter. And I think it is a formula that works out quite satisfactorily. Usually, anyhow. ;-)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
"The O.C.", My Father, And My Jewish Brother-In-Law
Yeah. Here I go again with "The O.C." I do admit that TV shows and movies often cause me to reflect on things in my own life. And those things show up on my blog.
I guess one of the factors that causes me to have the "warm fuzzies" when watching "The O.C." is the fact that the Cohens are a family of mixed religions -- a Jewish father and a Christian mother. And I really enjoy how the Jewish creator of the show -- Josh Schwartz -- has instilled in the marriage of these characters such great love and respect. This is especially significant to me as my sister -- a Catholic -- is married to a Jewish man.
My two sisters and I were raised in a very Catholic environment, by very Catholic parents. My father always explained to us that marrying someone of the same faith would probably be easier in the long run, because -- as he told us -- "there will be enough things to fight about, without fighting about your religion." Pretty practical and sensible, right? My father never indulged in deep philosophical reasoning about how you should live your life. He always had very down-to-earth reasons for why he did what he did.
Anyway, my sisters and I never "left the Church." Our faith has always been a central part of our lives. I married a very serious Catholic man. One of my sisters has not married, but is a kick-ass kindergarten teacher. And my youngest sister (Gina), when she was about 29 or 30 years old, began to date a Jewish man named Aaron, and they married a few years later.
Now, my dad could have flipped out about Gina and Aaron and the fact that Aaron was not only not Catholic, but not Christian, either. In fact, Aaron is a rather agnostic individual. But, my dad always said, "You tell your kids your opinions about marriage before they fall in love. Then, you accept their decisions." And that is just what he did with Gina and Aaron. And my dad's relationship with Aaron, before my dad passed away, was an inspiring good example for everyone. My father became one of Aaron's closest friends and confidantes. They took piano lessons together. They often went out for breakfast. And they talked about any and all subjects -- including those where they had some serious disagreements (faith, religion, and politics) -- without any hard feelings. In fact, they enjoyed their spirited discussions and would always end up laughing. And when Aaron's father would come out from Philadelphia to visit, he would join Aaron and my dad in their discussions and adventures. Aaron's father actually delivered a eulogy at my father's funeral. He said that even though their religions were different, they shared the same values in the areas of friendship and family life. And he spoke of how he would so much miss my father, who had become his close friend.
I will not say that Gina and Aaron's road to the altar was an entirely easy or smooth one. Her Catholic faith remained (and still remains) important to her. And Aaron was no doormat about his opinions, either. Once, he presented Gina with a 12-page list of his objections to the Catholic Church. She sat and patiently (or, maybe, not-so-patiently) went through the list line-by-line and responded to each item. Through it all, though, my father was gracious and supportive of their relationship. He encouraged Gina to stand up for what she believed. But, he also encouraged Aaron to express himself. And then he trusted that they would make a wise decision.
Their wedding, in the end, was celebrated in a Catholic church with a Chuppah on the altar. Both a deacon and a rabbi officiated. The "Ave Maria" was sung, as well as some wonderful Jewish music. One of the cool things about their wedding preparations -- and one of the things I found most inspiring -- was my father's sensitivity to the Jewish guests' possible feelings about being in a church with a crucifix. Jewish people can be rather sensitive about crucifixes, as they have often been wrongfully and unfairly accused of killing Jesus, resulting in a lot of serious anti-semitism. So, my father brought Aaron's parents to the church well before the scheduled wedding date. He wanted them to check it out and have the opportunity to express their feelings about whether or not they and their friends and family members would be comfortable there. Aaron's parents graciously gave their blessing for the wedding ceremony to be celebrated in that church building.
Gina and Aaron have been married for 11 years now. They have a beautiful son and daughter. Their children are being raised as Catholics, but the Jewish Sabbath and holy days and seasons are also observed in their home. The children are learning to love and respect the faiths of both of their parents, primarily because Gina and Aaron respect each others' faiths. And it is lovely to hear their little girl chant the prayer before meals in the Hebrew language.
So, when I watch "The O.C.", the relationship of Sandy Cohen and his wife and the way they treat others -- regardless of faith or politics -- reminds me a lot of the mixed-religion marriage within my own extended family. And I am grateful for people who are gracious and grace-filled enough to make such a thing work. And I am grateful for artists like Josh Schwartz, who are able to paint a beautiful picture for us of such a relationship. For art can and should reflect truths about us and what we are capable of doing -- both the sweet and the salt.
Oh. I also must say that it was great fun to hear my father tell people -- rather proudly -- that he had a son-in-law who "is one of the Chosen People."
I guess one of the factors that causes me to have the "warm fuzzies" when watching "The O.C." is the fact that the Cohens are a family of mixed religions -- a Jewish father and a Christian mother. And I really enjoy how the Jewish creator of the show -- Josh Schwartz -- has instilled in the marriage of these characters such great love and respect. This is especially significant to me as my sister -- a Catholic -- is married to a Jewish man.
My two sisters and I were raised in a very Catholic environment, by very Catholic parents. My father always explained to us that marrying someone of the same faith would probably be easier in the long run, because -- as he told us -- "there will be enough things to fight about, without fighting about your religion." Pretty practical and sensible, right? My father never indulged in deep philosophical reasoning about how you should live your life. He always had very down-to-earth reasons for why he did what he did.
Anyway, my sisters and I never "left the Church." Our faith has always been a central part of our lives. I married a very serious Catholic man. One of my sisters has not married, but is a kick-ass kindergarten teacher. And my youngest sister (Gina), when she was about 29 or 30 years old, began to date a Jewish man named Aaron, and they married a few years later.
Now, my dad could have flipped out about Gina and Aaron and the fact that Aaron was not only not Catholic, but not Christian, either. In fact, Aaron is a rather agnostic individual. But, my dad always said, "You tell your kids your opinions about marriage before they fall in love. Then, you accept their decisions." And that is just what he did with Gina and Aaron. And my dad's relationship with Aaron, before my dad passed away, was an inspiring good example for everyone. My father became one of Aaron's closest friends and confidantes. They took piano lessons together. They often went out for breakfast. And they talked about any and all subjects -- including those where they had some serious disagreements (faith, religion, and politics) -- without any hard feelings. In fact, they enjoyed their spirited discussions and would always end up laughing. And when Aaron's father would come out from Philadelphia to visit, he would join Aaron and my dad in their discussions and adventures. Aaron's father actually delivered a eulogy at my father's funeral. He said that even though their religions were different, they shared the same values in the areas of friendship and family life. And he spoke of how he would so much miss my father, who had become his close friend.
I will not say that Gina and Aaron's road to the altar was an entirely easy or smooth one. Her Catholic faith remained (and still remains) important to her. And Aaron was no doormat about his opinions, either. Once, he presented Gina with a 12-page list of his objections to the Catholic Church. She sat and patiently (or, maybe, not-so-patiently) went through the list line-by-line and responded to each item. Through it all, though, my father was gracious and supportive of their relationship. He encouraged Gina to stand up for what she believed. But, he also encouraged Aaron to express himself. And then he trusted that they would make a wise decision.
Their wedding, in the end, was celebrated in a Catholic church with a Chuppah on the altar. Both a deacon and a rabbi officiated. The "Ave Maria" was sung, as well as some wonderful Jewish music. One of the cool things about their wedding preparations -- and one of the things I found most inspiring -- was my father's sensitivity to the Jewish guests' possible feelings about being in a church with a crucifix. Jewish people can be rather sensitive about crucifixes, as they have often been wrongfully and unfairly accused of killing Jesus, resulting in a lot of serious anti-semitism. So, my father brought Aaron's parents to the church well before the scheduled wedding date. He wanted them to check it out and have the opportunity to express their feelings about whether or not they and their friends and family members would be comfortable there. Aaron's parents graciously gave their blessing for the wedding ceremony to be celebrated in that church building.
Gina and Aaron have been married for 11 years now. They have a beautiful son and daughter. Their children are being raised as Catholics, but the Jewish Sabbath and holy days and seasons are also observed in their home. The children are learning to love and respect the faiths of both of their parents, primarily because Gina and Aaron respect each others' faiths. And it is lovely to hear their little girl chant the prayer before meals in the Hebrew language.
So, when I watch "The O.C.", the relationship of Sandy Cohen and his wife and the way they treat others -- regardless of faith or politics -- reminds me a lot of the mixed-religion marriage within my own extended family. And I am grateful for people who are gracious and grace-filled enough to make such a thing work. And I am grateful for artists like Josh Schwartz, who are able to paint a beautiful picture for us of such a relationship. For art can and should reflect truths about us and what we are capable of doing -- both the sweet and the salt.
Oh. I also must say that it was great fun to hear my father tell people -- rather proudly -- that he had a son-in-law who "is one of the Chosen People."
Monday, November 19, 2012
"The O.C." And The Best Of Liberal Thought
As I have mentioned before, I really enjoy watching "The O.C." Yes, I am behind the times a bit. And, yes, this show has many dramatic soap-opera elements about it. But, it has many other elements, as well. The one I will be discussing today is how, to me, this "sexy, teenage soap" espouses the best of liberal thought -- at least, the best of liberal thought as I have experienced it in my life.
I am a pretty conservative person -- religiously, politically, in my life as a wife and mom. I did earn my college degree at San Francisco State University, though. And most of my teachers at that storied institution, and many of my friends, were pretty (extremely ?) liberal. In watching "The O.C." I have been reminded of my experience in college and the things I learned to appreciate there from those who embraced the more "progressive" view of things.
One of the main characters in "The O.C." is a man named Sandy Cohen. He is a Jewish, Berkeley-educated public defender married to a beautiful, kind, very wealthy Protestant woman. These two have a 16-year-old son, Seth, who is rather socially awkward, but has great potential for a certain romantic coolness. The premise of the show is that, in the course of doing his job, Sandy comes across an enigmatic, soulful young man (Ryan Atwood) who has run afoul of the law (albeit, rather unintentionally). Seeing the goodness in this young man, Sandy doesn't want to leave him to the whims and vagaries of "the system," so he brings the teenager home to live with his family in a monied area of Orange County.
Throughout the four seasons of "The O.C.", Sandy faces many situations -- with Ryan and Seth, with his wife, in his work and community -- which challenge him and necessitate a response. He is not a perfect man and doesn't always make perfect decisions, but the humanity with which this character responds to both people and situations reflect what I consider to be the true beauty of liberal values.
First of all, in bringing Ryan home, Sandy personifies the liberal value of reaching out to the less fortunate. Of seeing the true potential in someone who has been treated rather harshly by life -- unstable family situation, low socioeconomic status, sub-par schools. He is willing to give that person a chance to see what he can really do with his life. And Sandy doesn't give up on Ryan when he makes poor decisions at times. He encourages Ryan to reflect on and rectify situations in which he hasn't handled himself properly. Sandy trusts Ryan, when all is said and done, to do what is right. He trusts in that people are, generally speaking, created to be good.
Which leads me to the next "liberal value" I see Sandy Cohen putting into action. And that is the value of withholding judgment when someone (especially a young someone) screws up -- allowing that person to learn from his mistakes without humiliation. Having hope that the person will, in fact, go on to be better for the experiences he has had. Throughout my education, the liberals in my life gave me confidence, because they gave me the freedom to try things out -- both actions and ideas -- in order that I could learn and figure things out for myself. I tried to make good decisions; but, of course, I wasn't always successful in that effort. And when I made mistakes, I didn't feel condemnation from these progressives. Instead, I felt compassion and understanding. This compassion and understanding gave me the strength I needed to pick myself up and move on. The sense of freedom and trust these individuals gave me also allowed me to express myself with sincerity, instead of making me feel I had to conform to a certain way of thinking out of fear that I would be rejected. And in being able to express what I truly felt, I was able to "shake out" my ideas -- test them among different people and in various situations, to see if they would truly hold up. And this is what I see in the interaction of the Sandy and Ryan (and Sandy and Seth) characters.
Sandy Cohen also embraces the best of liberal thought in his religious outlook and community life. One of my favorite episodes centers around the Jewish celebration of Passover in the Cohen household. At the Sedar meal, Sandy leads the prayer. As part of the prayer, he calls to mind an individual's and family's obligation to society -- both in the smaller community and larger world. And this character does put that idea into practice throughout all the seasons of the show. He struggles against the temptations of selfish individualism and material greed, always attempting to do what is truly the right thing for people and society. Even if it costs him personally.
Of course, Sandy Cohen -- progressive maverick -- at times does things much differently as a parent than I would. I would never be making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my 18-year-old son so that he could go off to Vegas for New Year's Eve to have sex with his 18-year-old girlfriend. (Knowing Sandy as I do, I must say that he probably sneaked some condoms into that cooler, along with the sandwiches). I also would never give my handsome, charming stepson his own pool house, equipped with a king-sized bed made up with satin sheets and fluffy pillows. And one of my favorite scenes -- I love it especially because it is something I would NEVER do -- is when Ryan is going off on one of his missions of vengeance. In the COHENS' RANGE ROVER, of all things. And Sandy is standing calmly by the open driver's side window, trying to calmly talk Ryan out of his insane plan. And Ryan drives away. And Sandy calmly lets him. I WOULD BE FREAKING DIVING INTO THAT WINDOW AND REMOVING THE KEYS FROM THE IGNITION AND DRAGGING RYAN BY HIS EAR BACK HOME AND LOCKING HIM (BY HIMSELF, WITH NO GIRLS) IN THE POOL HOUSE UNTIL HE CALMED THE HELL DOWN. But -- hey -- that's just conservative old me. ;)
I am a pretty conservative person -- religiously, politically, in my life as a wife and mom. I did earn my college degree at San Francisco State University, though. And most of my teachers at that storied institution, and many of my friends, were pretty (extremely ?) liberal. In watching "The O.C." I have been reminded of my experience in college and the things I learned to appreciate there from those who embraced the more "progressive" view of things.
One of the main characters in "The O.C." is a man named Sandy Cohen. He is a Jewish, Berkeley-educated public defender married to a beautiful, kind, very wealthy Protestant woman. These two have a 16-year-old son, Seth, who is rather socially awkward, but has great potential for a certain romantic coolness. The premise of the show is that, in the course of doing his job, Sandy comes across an enigmatic, soulful young man (Ryan Atwood) who has run afoul of the law (albeit, rather unintentionally). Seeing the goodness in this young man, Sandy doesn't want to leave him to the whims and vagaries of "the system," so he brings the teenager home to live with his family in a monied area of Orange County.
Throughout the four seasons of "The O.C.", Sandy faces many situations -- with Ryan and Seth, with his wife, in his work and community -- which challenge him and necessitate a response. He is not a perfect man and doesn't always make perfect decisions, but the humanity with which this character responds to both people and situations reflect what I consider to be the true beauty of liberal values.
First of all, in bringing Ryan home, Sandy personifies the liberal value of reaching out to the less fortunate. Of seeing the true potential in someone who has been treated rather harshly by life -- unstable family situation, low socioeconomic status, sub-par schools. He is willing to give that person a chance to see what he can really do with his life. And Sandy doesn't give up on Ryan when he makes poor decisions at times. He encourages Ryan to reflect on and rectify situations in which he hasn't handled himself properly. Sandy trusts Ryan, when all is said and done, to do what is right. He trusts in that people are, generally speaking, created to be good.
Which leads me to the next "liberal value" I see Sandy Cohen putting into action. And that is the value of withholding judgment when someone (especially a young someone) screws up -- allowing that person to learn from his mistakes without humiliation. Having hope that the person will, in fact, go on to be better for the experiences he has had. Throughout my education, the liberals in my life gave me confidence, because they gave me the freedom to try things out -- both actions and ideas -- in order that I could learn and figure things out for myself. I tried to make good decisions; but, of course, I wasn't always successful in that effort. And when I made mistakes, I didn't feel condemnation from these progressives. Instead, I felt compassion and understanding. This compassion and understanding gave me the strength I needed to pick myself up and move on. The sense of freedom and trust these individuals gave me also allowed me to express myself with sincerity, instead of making me feel I had to conform to a certain way of thinking out of fear that I would be rejected. And in being able to express what I truly felt, I was able to "shake out" my ideas -- test them among different people and in various situations, to see if they would truly hold up. And this is what I see in the interaction of the Sandy and Ryan (and Sandy and Seth) characters.
Sandy Cohen also embraces the best of liberal thought in his religious outlook and community life. One of my favorite episodes centers around the Jewish celebration of Passover in the Cohen household. At the Sedar meal, Sandy leads the prayer. As part of the prayer, he calls to mind an individual's and family's obligation to society -- both in the smaller community and larger world. And this character does put that idea into practice throughout all the seasons of the show. He struggles against the temptations of selfish individualism and material greed, always attempting to do what is truly the right thing for people and society. Even if it costs him personally.
Of course, Sandy Cohen -- progressive maverick -- at times does things much differently as a parent than I would. I would never be making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my 18-year-old son so that he could go off to Vegas for New Year's Eve to have sex with his 18-year-old girlfriend. (Knowing Sandy as I do, I must say that he probably sneaked some condoms into that cooler, along with the sandwiches). I also would never give my handsome, charming stepson his own pool house, equipped with a king-sized bed made up with satin sheets and fluffy pillows. And one of my favorite scenes -- I love it especially because it is something I would NEVER do -- is when Ryan is going off on one of his missions of vengeance. In the COHENS' RANGE ROVER, of all things. And Sandy is standing calmly by the open driver's side window, trying to calmly talk Ryan out of his insane plan. And Ryan drives away. And Sandy calmly lets him. I WOULD BE FREAKING DIVING INTO THAT WINDOW AND REMOVING THE KEYS FROM THE IGNITION AND DRAGGING RYAN BY HIS EAR BACK HOME AND LOCKING HIM (BY HIMSELF, WITH NO GIRLS) IN THE POOL HOUSE UNTIL HE CALMED THE HELL DOWN. But -- hey -- that's just conservative old me. ;)
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Asthma Attacks and Holiday Decor
I have not blogged much this week, as things got a bit out-of-hand.
This past Tuesday, my Bridget went off to work, as per usual. I guess there was a stinky smell permeating the office, so one of her co-workers decided to spray some ammonia-based air freshener all around the place. Causing Bridget to have one heck of an asthma attack. She called me to come pick her up around mid-morning, and her boss and doctor gave her orders not to return to the job until this coming Monday.
Those of you who are aquainted with Bridget know that she is a very fun person. She is full of joyful enthusiasm and creativity. And I have been having a great time hanging out with her all week.
The first couple of days she was at home were kind of low-key, since she was feeling pretty crappy. We drank Starbucks coffee. We watched "Numb3rs" -- also known in our household as "The Colby Granger Show." Colby Granger is one of the best characters ever created for a TV show. Colby runs fast and knocks people down and shoots a really big gun and drives FBI vehicles in a daring way. He is also very funny, if you are paying attention. He is played by Dylan Bruno. I don't know anything about Dylan Bruno, except that he has a really nice older brother named Chris. Chris obviously taught Dylan everything he knows about being funny and knocking people down.
But, I digress.
After a couple of days, Bridget started to feel better. And that enthusiastic, creative mind started looking for ways to stay entertained. So, she began teaching me about theology -- how Jesus is a divine person and how the Holy Spirit is spirated. She worked on the quilt she is making for a friend's wedding. She scrap-booked. And she came up with a nefarious plot to decorate our house for the holidays.
Those of you who are aquainted with me know that I do not decorate. I do like to put up the Christmas tree, but that is about it. To me, decorating the house for the holidays means that you are just going to have to un-decorate it again and somehow figure out what to do with all the decorations for the remaining 11 months of the year. Decorating also means that you have to clean the house and get all the dust and grime off the surfaces that are to be decorated.
Bridget, though, does not see eye-to-eye with me on this issue. So, off we went to the craft store and the fabric store, where we purchased some shiny baubles and paper and ribbons and other decorative doo-dads. And Bridget went-to-town.
All the pictures on our walls are now wrapped in Christmas paper and ribbons, so it looks as though Christmas gifts are hanging on all of our home's vertical surfaces. There are vases filled with gleaming silver, gold, and red holiday "stuff" in our living room and family room. There are turkey-shaped place cards forming on the dining room table, in anticipation of our annual Thanksgiving dinner. A dinner which has never before featured place cards. Some sort of silver garland is being planned for the hearth. There is glitter on the sofa.
And it is all so much fun! My decorating cynicism is being stripped away. Of course, I would never do any of this if left to my own devices. So, when it comes time for Bridget to fly away from the nest, Christmas gifts will not be seen hanging on any of my walls come December. For now, though, I admit that I am greatly enjoying the festive atmosphere and watching my not-so-little girl happily put the house into a proper holiday mood.
I can't say that I'm at all glad Bridget had that asthma attack. But, all-in-all, she did take the lemons which were handed to her this past week and turn them into one hell of a pitcher of spiked lemonade...
This past Tuesday, my Bridget went off to work, as per usual. I guess there was a stinky smell permeating the office, so one of her co-workers decided to spray some ammonia-based air freshener all around the place. Causing Bridget to have one heck of an asthma attack. She called me to come pick her up around mid-morning, and her boss and doctor gave her orders not to return to the job until this coming Monday.
Those of you who are aquainted with Bridget know that she is a very fun person. She is full of joyful enthusiasm and creativity. And I have been having a great time hanging out with her all week.
The first couple of days she was at home were kind of low-key, since she was feeling pretty crappy. We drank Starbucks coffee. We watched "Numb3rs" -- also known in our household as "The Colby Granger Show." Colby Granger is one of the best characters ever created for a TV show. Colby runs fast and knocks people down and shoots a really big gun and drives FBI vehicles in a daring way. He is also very funny, if you are paying attention. He is played by Dylan Bruno. I don't know anything about Dylan Bruno, except that he has a really nice older brother named Chris. Chris obviously taught Dylan everything he knows about being funny and knocking people down.
But, I digress.
After a couple of days, Bridget started to feel better. And that enthusiastic, creative mind started looking for ways to stay entertained. So, she began teaching me about theology -- how Jesus is a divine person and how the Holy Spirit is spirated. She worked on the quilt she is making for a friend's wedding. She scrap-booked. And she came up with a nefarious plot to decorate our house for the holidays.
Those of you who are aquainted with me know that I do not decorate. I do like to put up the Christmas tree, but that is about it. To me, decorating the house for the holidays means that you are just going to have to un-decorate it again and somehow figure out what to do with all the decorations for the remaining 11 months of the year. Decorating also means that you have to clean the house and get all the dust and grime off the surfaces that are to be decorated.
Bridget, though, does not see eye-to-eye with me on this issue. So, off we went to the craft store and the fabric store, where we purchased some shiny baubles and paper and ribbons and other decorative doo-dads. And Bridget went-to-town.
All the pictures on our walls are now wrapped in Christmas paper and ribbons, so it looks as though Christmas gifts are hanging on all of our home's vertical surfaces. There are vases filled with gleaming silver, gold, and red holiday "stuff" in our living room and family room. There are turkey-shaped place cards forming on the dining room table, in anticipation of our annual Thanksgiving dinner. A dinner which has never before featured place cards. Some sort of silver garland is being planned for the hearth. There is glitter on the sofa.
And it is all so much fun! My decorating cynicism is being stripped away. Of course, I would never do any of this if left to my own devices. So, when it comes time for Bridget to fly away from the nest, Christmas gifts will not be seen hanging on any of my walls come December. For now, though, I admit that I am greatly enjoying the festive atmosphere and watching my not-so-little girl happily put the house into a proper holiday mood.
I can't say that I'm at all glad Bridget had that asthma attack. But, all-in-all, she did take the lemons which were handed to her this past week and turn them into one hell of a pitcher of spiked lemonade...
Monday, November 12, 2012
Monday Morning Almanac
Ok. So, it is Monday evening. I have always been a bit unconventional.
Anyway --
I FIND MYSELF
*Noticing God's Glory: My washing machine went on the blink today. Whilst full of water and clothes. What to do??? I called the wonderful, sweet, generous, elderly widower who lives next door, who let me borrow his washing machine. He has been our neighbor since we moved here over 16 years ago, and a finer person you never did meet. Thank-you, Lord!
*Listening To: Myself typing on the keyboard. Otherwise all is silent. The only other person who is at home right now is my 22-year-old daughter (Bridget). She had to come home early from work as someone sprayed Febreeze all over the office, and she is allergic to it. So, we got peppermint mochas at Starbucks and are just hanging out.
*Clothing Myself In: Something uninteresting. So, I will tell you what my daughter is wearing. Flannel pajamas in a red-rosebud print. So pretty!
*Talking With My Children About: Bridget and I have tried watching "Rescue Me" on Netflix, because we are big Diane Farr fans. And Diane Farr rocks in that show. But, the main character is played by Denis Leary and, though he is cool and all, watching his fictional persona drink, hallucinate, and have sex is getting old pretty fast. Also, whenever he speaks, all we can think of is the Saber Tooth tiger he did the voice for in the "Ice Age" movies. Kind of kills the romantic lead thing for us....
*Thinking And Thinking: About how the holidays are upon us. This always stresses me out, because I pretty much suck at all the things women are expected to do during this season. For example, every time I wrap a gift, it just turns out looking asymmetrical and lopsided. And thank God for Trader Joe's turkey gravy. The trick is to pour it into a pot and dispose of the container before anyone notices you got it out of a container. Same trick goes for the cranberry sauce.
*Pondering Prayerfully: How it is really not a nice thing to enjoy needling people who annoy me. It is good that Advent is almost here. I will go to Confession.
*Carefully Cultivating Rhythm: Just when I think I have this down, something weird happens to disrupt it. Such as the washing machine breaking or my daughter getting poisoned by air freshener. Making it necessary for me to go pick her up. Because she doesn't drive, as she has this little issue with fainting unexpectedly. So, it is best that I just hang loose and listen to some Van Halen.
*Creating By Hand: Not a chance. But, my daughter is making a quilt for her friend's wedding. Can I take credit for that, even if it is just in an indirect manner? Nah, probably not.
*Learning Lessons In: When my daughters are out at night, I do pretty well until about 10:00 pm. Then I start to worry about them getting kidnapped. I am learning to stop this lame habit.
*Encouraging Learning: I am reading this great book entitled "The Righteous Mind -- Why Good People Are Divided By Politics and Religion." The author is a psychology professor at UVA. I highly recommend it!
*Begging Prayers: For my mom, who is having heart valve replacement surgery at the beginning of December. The docs are very positive, but prayers are very welcome.
*Keeping House: My husband vacuumed all the carpets for me over the weekend. He rocks!
*Crafting In The Kitchen: I made a bunch of hard boiled eggs today. Pretty talented, ain't I?
*Loving The Moments: When my oldest daughter (Andrea) shows me how to use my iPad properly. She is such a tech wiz; and I am not. I love the looks she gives me when she realizes my level of ignorance in the operation of Apple products. #bemused
*Giving Thanks: For kids who get along with each other and love being together. And who all sing well. And who swing dance -- with each other, even.
*Living The Liturgy: Yesterday, we went to the Latin Mass. One thing I love about the Latin Mass is that it tends to be pretty peaceful. I enjoy that. It is good for my prayer life and my blood pressure. One thing I don't like about the Latin Mass is that a lot of the people who go to it tend to look down their noses at the English Mass. And this is not good for my prayer life and my blood pressure. Can't we just appreciate all of the beautiful variety that is in our Church? It's all good...
*Planning For The Week Ahead: Thanksgiving approaches. And even though I hate chopping celery, it will be fun to have a big dinner with good company. Maybe I'll get some champagne.
Anyway --
I FIND MYSELF
*Noticing God's Glory: My washing machine went on the blink today. Whilst full of water and clothes. What to do??? I called the wonderful, sweet, generous, elderly widower who lives next door, who let me borrow his washing machine. He has been our neighbor since we moved here over 16 years ago, and a finer person you never did meet. Thank-you, Lord!
*Listening To: Myself typing on the keyboard. Otherwise all is silent. The only other person who is at home right now is my 22-year-old daughter (Bridget). She had to come home early from work as someone sprayed Febreeze all over the office, and she is allergic to it. So, we got peppermint mochas at Starbucks and are just hanging out.
*Clothing Myself In: Something uninteresting. So, I will tell you what my daughter is wearing. Flannel pajamas in a red-rosebud print. So pretty!
*Talking With My Children About: Bridget and I have tried watching "Rescue Me" on Netflix, because we are big Diane Farr fans. And Diane Farr rocks in that show. But, the main character is played by Denis Leary and, though he is cool and all, watching his fictional persona drink, hallucinate, and have sex is getting old pretty fast. Also, whenever he speaks, all we can think of is the Saber Tooth tiger he did the voice for in the "Ice Age" movies. Kind of kills the romantic lead thing for us....
*Thinking And Thinking: About how the holidays are upon us. This always stresses me out, because I pretty much suck at all the things women are expected to do during this season. For example, every time I wrap a gift, it just turns out looking asymmetrical and lopsided. And thank God for Trader Joe's turkey gravy. The trick is to pour it into a pot and dispose of the container before anyone notices you got it out of a container. Same trick goes for the cranberry sauce.
*Pondering Prayerfully: How it is really not a nice thing to enjoy needling people who annoy me. It is good that Advent is almost here. I will go to Confession.
*Carefully Cultivating Rhythm: Just when I think I have this down, something weird happens to disrupt it. Such as the washing machine breaking or my daughter getting poisoned by air freshener. Making it necessary for me to go pick her up. Because she doesn't drive, as she has this little issue with fainting unexpectedly. So, it is best that I just hang loose and listen to some Van Halen.
*Creating By Hand: Not a chance. But, my daughter is making a quilt for her friend's wedding. Can I take credit for that, even if it is just in an indirect manner? Nah, probably not.
*Learning Lessons In: When my daughters are out at night, I do pretty well until about 10:00 pm. Then I start to worry about them getting kidnapped. I am learning to stop this lame habit.
*Encouraging Learning: I am reading this great book entitled "The Righteous Mind -- Why Good People Are Divided By Politics and Religion." The author is a psychology professor at UVA. I highly recommend it!
*Begging Prayers: For my mom, who is having heart valve replacement surgery at the beginning of December. The docs are very positive, but prayers are very welcome.
*Keeping House: My husband vacuumed all the carpets for me over the weekend. He rocks!
*Crafting In The Kitchen: I made a bunch of hard boiled eggs today. Pretty talented, ain't I?
*Loving The Moments: When my oldest daughter (Andrea) shows me how to use my iPad properly. She is such a tech wiz; and I am not. I love the looks she gives me when she realizes my level of ignorance in the operation of Apple products. #bemused
*Giving Thanks: For kids who get along with each other and love being together. And who all sing well. And who swing dance -- with each other, even.
*Living The Liturgy: Yesterday, we went to the Latin Mass. One thing I love about the Latin Mass is that it tends to be pretty peaceful. I enjoy that. It is good for my prayer life and my blood pressure. One thing I don't like about the Latin Mass is that a lot of the people who go to it tend to look down their noses at the English Mass. And this is not good for my prayer life and my blood pressure. Can't we just appreciate all of the beautiful variety that is in our Church? It's all good...
*Planning For The Week Ahead: Thanksgiving approaches. And even though I hate chopping celery, it will be fun to have a big dinner with good company. Maybe I'll get some champagne.
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