If I'm still alive and kicking, anyway.
But, don't worry, I won't be wearing it to any public places.
It's just that we have, in our backyard, what is known as a dough-boy pool. It's one of those above-ground pools, which is composed of a metal frame and a vinyl liner. You get into and out of it via an attached ladder. The one we have is fairly large. And it is wonderful. We live in a canyon in SoCal, where it gets roasting hot in the summer months, so this pool is something which my family enjoys immensely.
As a "more mature" woman, I always buy one-piece bathing suits. Why? Well, you know how it is. Stretch marks from childbearing, a few drooping parts, some rolls where there used to be smooth tightness. All the signs of age and experience. And I wish to spare others the sight of such phenomena, as a general rule.
But, this is the thing. One piece bathing suits are a pain in the ass. You have to haul them up over your whole non-smooth, slightly rounded, middle-aged self and straighten them out painstakingly. And getting them on and off when your skin is damp? Don't even talk to me about it. Also, with all the fabric, they tend to drip a lot more when you emerge from the water, which is quite inconvenient if you have to go into the house for some reason. Your tummy stays pale all summer long, too. How sad is that? Because even if you're not going to attempt to rock the half-shirt look, a white tummy staring you back at you from your mirror during July is just depressing.
Therefore...
I am getting a bikini next summer. Only to be used in my own backyard, in my own dough-boy pool. Yes, my family will have to deal with it. But, I have faith in their ability to suck it up.
And if you want to know what finally inspired me to come to this conclusion, here is a little story:
The summer after I graduated from high school, I was privileged to spend five weeks in Europe. During one week of the trip, I was a passenger on a Greek cruise ship that was equipped with a swimming pool. The ship stopped at various Greek islands, where we were able to disembark and (often) go to the beach. It was a fantastic time. And one thing I noticed were the various older ladies wearing bikinis. One of these women, in particular, I will never forget. She was probably in her 70's. She was not overweight, but she was quite "wrinkly." She had wrinkles and sags and bags everywhere, like most women in their 70's probably do. But, she boldly wore her bikini to the ship's pool. She swam and splashed and sunbathed enthusiastically and unashamedly, along with her companions. I had never seen anything like that in the States. I was really impressed by her confident, fun-loving, youthful attitude. Another thing that impressed me about the situation was that none of the European travelers seemed to notice or care. And I found myself being slightly sad that we, in the good old USA, aren't more like these easy-going Europeans.
I have thought of that lady from time-to-time, over the years. This summer, though, as I hauled my one-piece swim suit up and over my fifty-year-old frame, I thought about her a lot. And I decided, "Dammit. I can have a bikini, too. And I will have a bikini. Next summer." Although, I am not as brave and admirable as that lady on the Greek cruise ship, so y'all don't have to worry about seeing me in it. Unless "y'all" are my husband and kids. ;-)
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
Having A Little Confidence In Your Legs
One of the reasons I like Ben McKenzie is that he gives me lots of ideas for things to blog about. Thanks, Mr. McKenzie!
For example, he did an interview (thoughtfully put online by the lovely lady from "Ben McKenzie News") in which he talks about four things he looks for in a gal. Two of them, in particular, struck me.
They are:
1. confidence
2. a good pair of legs.
I'm not sure if this interview was originally in print or done live. But, I imagine -- especially if it was done live -- that when he said the thing about the legs, at least 75% of the females who were listening to him looked down at their own pair, wondering if they measured up to Mr. McKenzie's standards. After all, he did not describe in any sort of detail what kinds of characteristics he looks for in legs. Does he like them long or short? Should the muscles be well-defined or softer and rounder? Are the calves or thighs of more interest to him? How about the knees? Does he care for tan skin or fair? I mean, when you start thinking about it, the whole thing can get a little overwhelming.
And this leads me to the idea of confidence.
In my experience, ladies don't tend to have a lot of confidence in their legs (or in their bodies, in general). They tend to be extremely hard on themselves -- and on each other. They complain that one part is "too fat," another part is "too thin." They tell themselves that they are "too bony" here or "too flabby" there. They put themselves under a dissecting microscope and have at it, judging themselves in the harshest manner.
All of this makes me sad.
Because, now that I am 50 and looking at my daughters (who are 23 and 24), at their friends, at the young women in my little town, and at all the youthful ladies I see as I travel here and there for various reasons, I realize something. Virtually all young women (and by that, I mean those 35 and under) are lovely. Please don't get me wrong. Older women are lovely, too. But, it's the younger ones who are especially hard on themselves, so they are the ones I am addressing right now.
So, young women, hear me. You are beautiful. Most of you groom yourselves well. You shower and do your hair and put something on that makes you feel pretty. You smile and laugh and have fun. You have spunk. And you have nice legs, too. Whether they are a little larger or a little smaller, a bit longer or a tad shorter, your young legs look cute dressed in the stylish shorts, pants, and skirts that you wear. They look cute when you walk around with your friends, getting coffee in the mall or going to the movies or dancing in a club. And not just your legs look cute. The rest of you looks adorable, too.
Therefore:
Have a little confidence in yourselves. Have confidence that you are beautiful -- but not only that. Have confidence in your intelligence and your abilities. Let your natural goodness and enthusiasm shine through. And don't worry about what others might think of your legs or any other part of you. Be happy in yourselves. Know in your heart that you can create lives and friendships that will be rewarding and satisfying.
Because, I must admit, Mr. McKenzie does have a point. When you are confident, you will be attractive. But, it needs to be authentic confidence. The kind of confidence that -- if you happened to run into Mr. McKenzie somewhere -- would allow you to look him in the eye and smile warmly, not worrying about what he is thinking of your legs. For I believe that Mr. McKenzie -- seeming to be a truly good sort of guy -- and any other guy worth your time and attention, is going to be looking at the totality of you as a person. He's not going to be spending a great deal of time rating your body parts. A worthwhile guy wants to be with somebody who cares about him, who cares about others, who can converse with him about interesting things, and (maybe I am getting ahead of myself here, but what the hell) who might be a good mother. A good guy realizes that when he falls in love and makes a commitment that the woman he chooses is going to get older, along with her body parts. And he will have the maturity to deal with that.
For example, he did an interview (thoughtfully put online by the lovely lady from "Ben McKenzie News") in which he talks about four things he looks for in a gal. Two of them, in particular, struck me.
They are:
1. confidence
2. a good pair of legs.
I'm not sure if this interview was originally in print or done live. But, I imagine -- especially if it was done live -- that when he said the thing about the legs, at least 75% of the females who were listening to him looked down at their own pair, wondering if they measured up to Mr. McKenzie's standards. After all, he did not describe in any sort of detail what kinds of characteristics he looks for in legs. Does he like them long or short? Should the muscles be well-defined or softer and rounder? Are the calves or thighs of more interest to him? How about the knees? Does he care for tan skin or fair? I mean, when you start thinking about it, the whole thing can get a little overwhelming.
And this leads me to the idea of confidence.
In my experience, ladies don't tend to have a lot of confidence in their legs (or in their bodies, in general). They tend to be extremely hard on themselves -- and on each other. They complain that one part is "too fat," another part is "too thin." They tell themselves that they are "too bony" here or "too flabby" there. They put themselves under a dissecting microscope and have at it, judging themselves in the harshest manner.
All of this makes me sad.
Because, now that I am 50 and looking at my daughters (who are 23 and 24), at their friends, at the young women in my little town, and at all the youthful ladies I see as I travel here and there for various reasons, I realize something. Virtually all young women (and by that, I mean those 35 and under) are lovely. Please don't get me wrong. Older women are lovely, too. But, it's the younger ones who are especially hard on themselves, so they are the ones I am addressing right now.
So, young women, hear me. You are beautiful. Most of you groom yourselves well. You shower and do your hair and put something on that makes you feel pretty. You smile and laugh and have fun. You have spunk. And you have nice legs, too. Whether they are a little larger or a little smaller, a bit longer or a tad shorter, your young legs look cute dressed in the stylish shorts, pants, and skirts that you wear. They look cute when you walk around with your friends, getting coffee in the mall or going to the movies or dancing in a club. And not just your legs look cute. The rest of you looks adorable, too.
Therefore:
Have a little confidence in yourselves. Have confidence that you are beautiful -- but not only that. Have confidence in your intelligence and your abilities. Let your natural goodness and enthusiasm shine through. And don't worry about what others might think of your legs or any other part of you. Be happy in yourselves. Know in your heart that you can create lives and friendships that will be rewarding and satisfying.
Because, I must admit, Mr. McKenzie does have a point. When you are confident, you will be attractive. But, it needs to be authentic confidence. The kind of confidence that -- if you happened to run into Mr. McKenzie somewhere -- would allow you to look him in the eye and smile warmly, not worrying about what he is thinking of your legs. For I believe that Mr. McKenzie -- seeming to be a truly good sort of guy -- and any other guy worth your time and attention, is going to be looking at the totality of you as a person. He's not going to be spending a great deal of time rating your body parts. A worthwhile guy wants to be with somebody who cares about him, who cares about others, who can converse with him about interesting things, and (maybe I am getting ahead of myself here, but what the hell) who might be a good mother. A good guy realizes that when he falls in love and makes a commitment that the woman he chooses is going to get older, along with her body parts. And he will have the maturity to deal with that.
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