The Pope And Kim Davis -- A Jesuit "Fast One"???

I have often been accused of being "Jesuitical" in my way of thinking. I say "accused" because those who observed this about me were not being complimentary. Not at all. I used to be rather ashamed of this fact about myself, as I do think it is an accurate observation. As I have entered midlife, though, I have chosen to embrace it.

So, here we go.

I was thinking about the Pope's meeting with Kim Davis. This has some people wringing their hands and others jumping for joy. But -- let us remember -- the Pope is a Jesuit. And I'm wondering if the Pope pulled a Jesuit "fast one."

I am probably going to get a phone call from the Vatican because of this blog post, telling me that I am ALL WRONG. That's okay. It would be sort of cool to get a phone call from the Vatican. And I still think that what I have to say might be worth considering, even if it's not a Slick Jesuit Papal Maneuver.

I was reading the NPR article on the Pope's visit with Kim. (I just love NPR, don't you? They are always so calm and professional. I also love Ezra Klein on Vox. He is witty and hilarious and sort of a sexy nerd. But, I digress.) In this article, I noticed that the Pope used the term "conscientious objection" when discussing his visit with Kim. This is very interesting to me. VERY interesting.

I grew up during the time of the Vietnam War, and there were many conscientious objectors. My parents and their group of friends were rather divided on the validity of being a conscientious objector. Most of them thought that these individuals were, basically, unpatriotic cowards. Some of them, though, admired the values and courage of the "peaceniks."  I once dated a guy -- for a little while -- who had been a conscientious objector. I decided that it was probably a good thing he had been thus, because he basically couldn't seem to stay awake. EVER. The dude would have been a very poor soldier. I would not have wanted to go into battle with this dude. He did have a cool car, though. And he helped me on a limnology project that I basically would have failed without his assistance. After said project, I never saw him again. I suppose traipsing around all those bodies of fresh water convinced him that I was MUCH too energetic for him. (OMG. I am digressing SO much today!)

Let's think, though, about conscientious objectors. In Vietnam, anyway, they were excused from the draft. I guess some of them did non-combat jobs. But, NONE of them performed the duties to which they objected. Why? Because they were excused/dismissed from the job which entailed those duties, meaning they were excused/dismissed from the job of being a soldier.

And this is the point. A conscientious objector was not allowed to become a soldier and then decide -- according to his conscience -- which of his duties he was going to perform and which of his duties he was not going to perform. Either he was in. Or he was out. And if he wanted to conscientiously object, he was OUT.

This is relevant to the case of Kim Davis. If she wants to hold the job that she has been holding, she needs to do that job. ALL of that job. As in the case of the soldier, she does not get to decide which duties she approves of and which she is going to abstain from. That kind of thinking brings chaos and anarchy. We would soon be a country resembling Gotham, if everybody got to do that. (Have you been watching the new season of "Gotham"? It is INCREDIBLE. They totally gave it a face lift from last year's season. And -- yes -- I have digressed again.) So, if the law has changed and Kim conscientiously objects to it, that is her human right. As the Pope stated. But, I bet the Pope is clever enough to realize that a conscientious objector needs to be excused -- or excuse himself/herself -- from the job to which he/she objects. Just as the soldier does not get to define his role, neither does Miss Kim. Perhaps this is the Pope's indirect and understated -- but, very Jesuitically clear -- message. And even if it's not his message, it's mine. ;-)

Now, I do think Miss Davis is a decent lady. She has basically been emotionally hijacked by and made a pawn of religious right-wingers. So, I kind of hope that the county for which she has worked will find her a new position that is both amenable to her conscience and provides for her needs. Do I think it's necessary for the county to do this? No, I don't. But, I think it would be decent. She probably won't need another job, though, because she's probably going to make a lot of money off the right-wingers. You know? With public appearances and podcasts and a YouTube channel and a book. There will probably even be a movie made about her by a certain university with which I am acquainted. Maybe I'm being cynical. I don't know.

Pax. :-)

Things That Make Me Go "Hmmm..."

You may have read the comment made by "Ricardo" on my last blog post. When I read it, I pretty much felt like Hester Prynn. Into my mind came all the images of women -- misunderstood, abused, ostracized, shunned, shut down -- because they were/are sinners. I especially felt that way because I am a Catholic and Ricardo is a Catholic deacon. Thankfully, not at my parish. Although, he does live a few doors down from me. And I admit that every time I walk down the street since reading that comment, I hyperventilate and feel rather faint (which I do twice a day, when I walk my dogs).

Now, as a Catholic, I do not deny that I am a sinner. I know that I am. I am also grateful that I was not brought up in a Catholic environment inhabited by people like Ricardo. I was brought up in an environment inhabited by people like Pope Francis.

I read today some words that Francis spoke in Cuba, addressing priests and bishops (members of the clergy who hear Confessions). Deacons do not hear Confessions, thanks be to God. And these words reminded me why I have faith in Jesus. Because Jesus EMBRACES the sinner. He has MERCY and COMPASSION on the sinner. He does not smack the sinner to the ground as she makes herself vulnerable and tries to get up from a fall. Rather, He gives her His hand.

I would like now to share these words of our wonderful Pope Francis with you, so that you may understand why I am still Catholic, in spite of what people like Ricardo might say to me:

"....there is a privileged place for the priest where this last one, this least one, this smallest one is found -- and it is the confessional. And there, when this man or this woman shows you his misery -- careful because it's the same misery that you have and from which God saved you, eh? from getting to that point. When he or she shows you his misery, please, don't scold him. Don't scold him, don't punish him. If you don't have sin, throw the first stone. But only under that condition. If not, think of your sins and think that you could be that person and think that you could potentially fall even lower, and think that you in this moment have in your hands a treasure, which is the mercy of the Father. Please, priests, don't get tired of forgiving, like Jesus did. Don't hide in fears or in rigidities. Just like this nun (a sister from the Congregation of the Missionaries of Charity who had spoken before the Pope) and all of those who are in the same ministry as she is, they don't get furious when they find a sick person who is dirty, but instead serve him, clean him, take care of him. Just like this, you, when a penitent comes, don't react badly, don't get neurotic, don't cast him out of the confessional, don't scold him. Jesus embraced them. Jesus loved them. Tomorrow, we celebrate St. Matthew. He was a thief and beyond that, betrayed his people. And the Gospel says that at night, Jesus went to dine with him and others like him. St. Ambrose has a phrase that moves me a lot: 'where there is mercy, the Spirit of Jesus is there; where there is rigidity, merely his ministers are there.'

"Brother priest, brother bishop, do not be afraid of mercy, allow it to flow out of your hands and through your embrace of forgiveness. Because this person or that person who is there are the least ones, and therefore it is Jesus. ....Poverty and mercy....that is where Jesus is."

And isn't that how we come to conversion -- a turning away from the bad and toward the good? Isn't it through being shown love? Isn't it through being shown mercy? Not from having your lack of logic pounced upon. Not from being compared to "pagans" who practiced child sacrifice. But from being embraced by love, by compassion -- by Christ. And he isn't walking down the streets of our cities right now -- but, we are. And we who call ourselves Christians have a very serious obligation not to push people away in His name.

There are people who believe in God and people who don't. There are Jews and Hindus and Muslims and Pagans and Buddhists. Among all of these, there are people of goodwill. All deserve to have their faith -- or lack, thereof -- respected. All deserve love and mercy and compassion. Because we are all kind of a mess, when you think about it. Nobody -- really -- is in a position to cast that first stone. I mean, look at Jesus. Christians believe He is God and -- thus -- perfect. And even He does not cast stones. Rather, He holds us close and wipes our tears.

Pax.

P.S. -- Please pray for me to forgive Ricardo. I admit that it isn't easy. I want to be able to walk by his house and offer him a kind hello, instead of fainting in his driveway. ;-)

Of Circuses And Saints

This seems to be my week for getting irritated with things I see floating around the web.

Today's doozy is this:

"If your church's worship feels like a circus, don't be surprised if its members act like animals and clowns."

The guy who came up with this gem is a "Professor of Theology and Church History."  He is Catholic, I assume, based on where I saw it.  And when I saw it, I was ever so thankful for Pope Francis and the things he has been saying lately.

If you are not Catholic, you may not really understand what this guy means.  If you are Catholic, you probably have a clue.  Based on the context, I assume this professor is especially enamored of more traditional liturgical worship.  Perhaps he is a fan of the Latin Mass, polyphony, chant, hymns, chapel veils, and a quiet, peaceful, contemplative atmosphere during Mass.  And the things he might think of as a circus?  I might be going out on a limb here, but perhaps he is referring to a more modern musical style for liturgy, which may be comprised of Praise and Worship Music, accompanied by drums, electric guitars, the bass, and a certain amount of congregational hand-raising or swaying in the pews.  He may also be thinking of the presider asking the people to greet each other before Mass begins, the priest occasionally coming down among his flock during the liturgy, and a congregation that is a bit more spirited at certain points throughout the Mass (such as at the Sign of Peace).

Now, first of all, I just have to take issue with the whole tone of this professor's statement.  It is arrogant, condescending, and disrespectful.  It sounds to me like something the scribes and pharisees might have said in Jesus' day when they saw our Lord surrounded by and speaking with all of the "sinners" out in the countryside.  This professor is taking an unnecessary and cruel swipe at people who are probably sincerely seeking God.  I am reminded of how the "righteous" people in Jesus' day reacted when he ate dinner at the homes of tax collectors and allowed "sinful" women to do such things as cry their tears on His feet.  I mean, come on, referring to your fellow Catholics as "animals and clowns?"  If I were a non-Catholic thinking of converting and I heard this coming out of the mouth of a respected professor of "Theology and Church History," I'd probably make a hasty retreat from RCIA.  Catholics, and all Christians, are called to meekness and understanding.  This statement is the antithesis of those things.  (Heck.  Maybe I'm not being very meek or understanding right now, either.  Oh, well...)

Secondly, as Catholics, we recognize that there are different forms of spirituality.  What helps one person in his/her journey to and with God may not help another.  What helps a person at one point in life may not help at another.  That is why the Pope and the Bishops and the priests allow (and, occasionally, "put up with") different types of worship in church.  I'm not saying the Mass should be warped into some kind of nearly unrecognizable form.  There is a need for observing what is necessary.  But, the more "traditional" voices in the Church sometimes tend to take on an air of all-knowing superiority in this area.  Deciding what is allowed and not allowed is, many times, a matter for each Bishop to decide.  And, perhaps, allowing certain things -- such as hand-holding during the "Our Father" -- is being made in wisdom and understanding by our pastors for the edification of many of the people in the Church.  So, in my opinion, some of these people who consider themselves to be the more "faithful" Catholics should just bite their tongues and refrain from putting unkind statements on the internet.

I know I could be blasted here by the Catholics who are more "in-the-know" about Catholic things.  I could be accused of approving of liturgical abuses, and such.  I do not intend to approve of liturgical abuses.  But, there is room for at least some diversity in church worship.  And we need to allow our Bishops and priests to do their job, part of which is to know and guide their individual and diverse flocks, giving space for the things which might edify the particular people who make up each one.

For example, I enjoy attending the Latin Mass occasionally.  The music is beautiful.  The language is stirring.  The atmosphere is very contemplative, assisting me in reflection and prayer.  There are many people who feel that their souls are truly at rest when they attend this traditional Mass.  It is a beautiful thing.

BUT, I also LOVE going to St. Monica's in Santa Monica.  The 5:30 pm Sunday evening Mass is my favorite.  As you enter the church, the ushers greet you in a way that actually makes you feel welcome.  Often, the person sitting next to you in the pew will greet you, also -- in a warm, authentic manner.  The priest asks the people to say hello to each other before Mass begins.  And the people do it, in a way that is meaningful and unifying.  I have never felt so welcome in a church in my life.  They have an extremely talented band at St. Monica's, consisting of keyboards, drums, electric guitars, and bass.  There is a large choir, each member of which could easily win "American Idol."  I kid you not.  Their music consists of a mix of styles, mostly modern and Praise and Worship, but some more traditional music, also.  And it is AMAZING.  The pastor clearly knows and loves his people.  His sermons are uplifting and always help you on your spiritual journey.  On Mothers' Day, we moms were asked to stand around the altar during the Consecration.  Some of you are probably completely freaking out now, but that's okay.  My daughter Andrea -- a pretty traditional Catholic, herself -- told me afterwards, with a big smile on her face, "You looked SO happy."  And I was.  I have gone to St. Monica's four times, the first time almost 20 years ago.  I believe the pastor all those years ago was the same one who is there presently.  That first time I went, I was at a very low point in my faith -- the lowest in my life.  St. Monica's is the reason I didn't leave the Church. 

Andrea, who has a film degree, told me that she thinks St. Monica's is so special for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, it is right next to Hollywood, so it is a parish attended by many of the Catholics in the film industry, thus accounting for all the talent.  I'm not just talking about the music, either.  You should hear the lectors.  Mind-blowing.  Also, as Andrea reminds me, Hollywood is a pretty cut-throat, high-stress, competitive place.  The pastor of this wonderful parish is well aware of that fact, and he has created a community for his flock where they will truly fit in, belong, find comfort -- and be able to exercise their irrepressible creativity.

So, I guess that's why I get ticked off when I see statements like the one made by this professor.  A lot of the more conservative Catholics would probably look at St. Monica's as an example of what he meant when he made his little assertion.  His totally unfair assertion.  Because I know from my own life and the lives of people I have encountered that some of the best Catholics -- Christians who will help you through thick and through thin, who will be there for you when you are aching and in need, the saints of our day -- might be the so-called "animals and clowns" from those so-called "circuses."

And this is why I am so grateful for Pope Francis.  Because I think he's putting the emphasis back where it needs to be in the Church.  Yes, there is a place for rules and regulations.  But, in the end, people's spiritual lives are the priority.  Helping people to have a relationship with God is the priority.  And people of all different stripes are sincerely looking for God -- gay, straight, male, female, transgender, rich, poor, old, young, married, single.  So, if you like the traditional Latin Mass, that is wonderful.  But, not everybody is made that way.  So, don't take cruel, needless, low-class swipes at those who might march to the beat of a different drummer.

Pope Francis "The Upstart"

In my family, we have been talking a bit about the new Pope.  He has been doing and saying some interesting things -- things that piss some people off, that make others happy, that mystify many.  He seems to be going in some new directions.  For example, he washed the feet of women when he was first elected, breaking with tradition.  He spoke of how atheists can go to Heaven.  He said that gay people must not be marginalized, and even seemed to accept the idea of gay men being ordained to the priesthood.  And these things make a lot of folks wonder what he is up to.

This is what I think.

First of all, I don't think he is doing anything that is out-of-step with Church teaching, if you really read the Catechism (and the New Testament).

What I think he is doing is reminding us of the true spirit of Christianity, of how Christ actually behaved -- things that some in the Church seem to have forgotten.  Why have they forgotten it?  The last couple of Popes, who I also truly loved, saw a Church that had begun to lose a lot of its tradition -- in the liturgy, in religious orders, in moral and social teachings, for example.  These Popes, of happy memory, reminded us of those things, which was very good.  But, in so doing, a division started to creep into the Church, a division which had probably always been there, but which became exacerbated.  What division?  The division between the more conservative Catholics and the more liberal Catholics.  It is almost like these two groups don't even accept each other as true Catholics; there is a lot of looking down the nose at one group by the other.  My husband, for example, told me that he heard a rather conservative Catholic commentator describe people "who are in the pews, but not in the Church."  EXCUSE ME???  If your fellow baptized Catholic is sitting next to you in the pews, and has not been excommunicated by the Pope, you really shouldn't be talking that way about him.  Or her.  And even if he/she is excommunicated, he/she is still a baptized Catholic.  On the other side of the coin, I once told a more liberal Catholic that I really love the Latin Mass and she acted like I had said the "black mass."  There has also been more and more talk about a "Culture War."  There has been much feeling amongst Catholics who view themselves as following the right path that they cannot work with, socialize with, live in the same neighborhoods as, or even pleasantly get along with people of differing points of view or of different lifestyles, because they are afraid of compromising their faith.  And because they feel uncomfortable around these different types of people.

I think Pope Francis sees these things.  And he sees the way the Church blew it in regard to priestly abuse.  And he sees the other ways in which the Church has made various groups of people -- like women and homosexuals -- feel marginalized.  In short, he sees the many sins and shortcomings of the Church and its clergy and its people.  And he is trying to lead us forward.  If we look at his example, if we truly and prayerfully look at it, I believe that we can begin to heal the rifts in the Church, we can help people to see how Jesus truly does love and accept them right where they are, and we can end the Culture War.  Because even though we need to have societal discussions about many issues, a "war" probably isn't the best way to go about things.  It will just leave the "defeated" feeling rebellious and plotting their uprising, while the "victors" go about gloating and maybe even oppressing.  Which is what victors in a war tend to do, albeit (perhaps) unintentionally. 

Yes, I think Pope Francis, with God's help, can bring many good things about in the Church.  He seems to have great faith, he seems to be a man of genuine humility, and -- last, but not least -- he is the first Pope in a long time that regular people can actually understand. ;-)

The Pope And The Atheists

I read with great interest that Pope Francis spoke recently about the relationship of Christianity with atheists, stating (in a nutshell) that atheists could certainly be saved.  How?  By their good works.

Did this surprise me?  No.  It is what I have always been taught.

Did it surprise a lot of people?  Yes.

If you think about it Biblically, though, it is logical.  Read the story of the Good Samaritan, if you don't believe me.  Jesus was basically giving a smack-down to all the self-righteous "religious" people.

A lot of atheists, though, appeared to be offended by the Pope's remarks.  Perhaps it felt to them as though the Catholic Church was commenting on their beliefs and lives in a manner that was both uninvited and unwanted.  I can understand this.  It's probably sort of like when I heard that Mormons baptize people without said people being present and without the consent of those people.  I wouldn't want that.  And maybe the atheists resent us Catholics trying to "save" them.  Maybe they view it as an insult to their own intelligence, free-will, and world-view.

There may be another thing going on here, though.  And it is something that should cause us Catholics and other types of Christians to do some reflecting.  Are we behaving in such a way so as to cause atheists to say, "Why in the name of God, who I don't believe in anyway, would I want to spend an eternity in a place locked up with you prideful, judgmental, mean-spirited, unaccepting people?"  They are probably imagining themselves stuck at a banquet table, eternally flanked by the likes of Jerry Falwell and Rick Perry.  Not something that is especially appealing to me, either.  Maybe we should ask ourselves if we are building bridges to God, and not obstacles (another thing Pope Francis spoke about recently).  Are we really practicing the attitudes of meekness, gentleness, and loving-kindness that should be expected of Christians of all stripes?  Or are we being like the proverbial clanging gongs and clashing cymbals?

There is a wonderful older priest at our parish who told the following story:

     He said that, many years ago, he was approached by a young man.  This young man was a Communist and an atheist.  The priest said that he asked to see the Communist Party card that the young man was carrying, as he had never seen one before and it interested him.  He spoke to the young man a bit and found out that he had been raised in a very "fire and brimstone" preaching household.  The young man was raised with the idea of a God who is very harsh, very cold, very unaccepting -- ready, waiting, and almost eager to cast people into hell.  The priest listened to the young man's story and then replied, "If that is what I thought God was supposed to be like, I wouldn't believe in Him, either."

A story worth reflecting on, eh?

Now, did the young man in this story get all converted and everything?  No.  And that is not even what that priest was after.  All he was trying to do was convey to this young person the merciful face of God, as we Christians are supposed to see Him.  After all, the women loved Jesus.  THEY LOVED HIM.  And that tells you something about the guy.  Think about that, Governor Perry.

Some Reflections On The Treatment Of Homosexual Persons In Our Society

I was very moved this morning when I saw a friend of mine -- a lovely young lady who is involved in a same-sex relationship -- express her sadness over all the friends she has lost because of her "lifestyle."

This young lady was raised in a very conservative Catholic home.  She went to a very conservative Catholic college.  Don't get me wrong, though.  Her parents love her very much and I believe her relationship with them (and with her siblings) is very positive.  I also know that she still has many friends from college who love her and support her.  But, I am also fairly sure that a lot of the friends she has lost were of the religious conservative variety.

And this is quite unfortunate.

Now, some people who have distanced themselves from her may very likely still be her friends.  They are probably just uncomfortable with the situation and don't know how to behave.  Perhaps, with more maturity and reflection on the matter, they may again show her their friendship.

Some friends she has lost, though, may believe that by showing her friendship in a nonjudgmental way that they are somehow condoning her situation and contributing to her "sinfulness."  Some of them may also be actively angry and disgusted with her.  And these attitudes, in my opinion, are wrong.

What is it that makes a friend?  Why should we be friends with somebody?  A friend is someone of good character.  A person you can trust and count on.  A person who is kind and charitable.  You don't have to agree on everything -- even "important" things.  You don't even have to entirely approve of each others' lives.  And you can accept a person, without accepting every opinion or action of that person -- even if those opinions or actions are "important."

And for those of us who call ourselves "Christian," we need to approach all others with the recognition of our own fallen nature.  Every single person who is my friend is friends with a sinner.  And I count myself the worst of all. 

People know that I am a Catholic.  My young woman friend knows I am a Catholic.  So, she probably knows what my objective beliefs are.  I don't have to rub her nose in them.  I can just be her friend.

And what about her relationship.  I respect it as her relationship.  I believe her when she tells me that she loves her girlfriend.  I enjoy her friendship.  And I pray for all of us, without considering her to be any worse than I.

One of my daughters knows a gay man who has a spouse who is a gay man.  She considers this man to be her good friend.  In many situations, he has certainly acted as a friend to her.  He knows she is a devout Catholic -- and he supports her in her faith.  My daughter, though, has taken considerable heat from some of her "good" Catholic friends for calling this man her friend and for referring to his spouse as "his spouse."  But, he has proven himself -- in his actions -- to be her friend.  And she told me that she is going to respect his relationship by referring to it as he does.  He, for his part, understands her position on the theological definition of sacramental "marriage."  And he does not consider her to be a bigot or a "hater."

I really admire my daughter in her friendship with this man.  I admire that she doesn't back down in her charity out of fear of losing the approval of other "religious" people.  I admire her kindness and the true respect she shows her friend.  To me, the relationship she has with this man should be a blueprint for how society should act in the face of all the controversy over the gay "lifestyle" and gay marriage.

Many people are tossing around the words of Pope Francis concerning gay marriage.  To paraphrase, I believe he referred to it as a trap laid by the devil to trick the children of God.  I would put forth a couple of thoughts about this.  I read an article by a gay activist describing the interactions he had with the Pope when he was still a Cardinal in Argentina.  The activist said that the Cardinal was actually very kind and understanding in their conversations -- even when the gay man talked about his same-sex relationship.  The Pope, when he was a Cardinal, acted toward the homosexual person with charity.  He didn't make him feel judged and condemned.  He didn't refuse to associate with him.  Secondly, there is more than one kind of trap that can be laid by the devil here.  And I believe that the temptation to treat homosexual people -- even when they express the desire to marry -- with contempt and anger and scorn is, perhaps, the worst temptation of all. 

And just in case you thought you were going to escape hearing about Ben McKenzie today, well... ;)

In the November elections, Mr. McKenzie did some rare Tweeting.  Mr. McKenzie is an Obama person.  And one of his Tweets was expressing his happiness that a gay woman had been elected to Congress.   I -- as you are aware -- really like Mr. McKenzie.  I think he is classy and intelligent.  And I think his opinions -- even when different than mine -- are well thought out.  He has also been very kind to my younger daughter when she was not feeling well.  Although, he probably doesn't know that.  So, when he "Tweeted," about this newly-elected Congresswoman, I thought about it.  And I realized that many, many people still have ugly, mean, nasty attitudes about homosexual people.  This is not right.  This really should change.  So, I do understand the happiness of the gay community and people who are pro-gay rights when homosexual people are elected to public office.  And I hope these elections -- and friendships like I and my daughter have with gay people -- will help to create in society more true kindness toward individuals with same-sex attraction.  For even if there are issues of theology and public policy on which there are disagreements, perhaps those disagreements can be discussed in an atmosphere that is truly and actually charitable.

Dear Catholics. When we speak of abortion, gay rights...

...and all the other issues which elections tend to bring up, whether the elections be secular or papal, let us remember that there are actual people who are touched -- for good and for ill -- by our words and actions.

Let us remember that we must, first of all, LOVE.  Let us remember that without love, we are just clanging cymbals.  Let us remember that without love, we are just going to alienate and hurt people -- people Jesus loves.

Maybe we should start by standing in the shoes of The Other.  By trying to see things their way.

For example, pro-choice people do not hate babies and mothers and families.  I have personally had three friends who worked for Planned Parenthood -- two as volunteers and one as an employee.  One of the women who was a volunteer helped to stock and staff a center where poor, unwed mothers could come and get needed supplies for their babies.  This was an actual Planned Parenthood center.  The other volunteer worked a phone line where people could call for information about sexually transmitted diseases and contraception.  She was very excited to do this work, as she believed it helped people to stay healthy.  She did not view her job as encouraging people to engage in irresponsible sex.  She was very much in favor of people taking responsibility for their actions; and she viewed her position as assisting them in that endeavor.  The third woman I knew worked as a counselor in an abortion clinic.  She was a kind and unassuming young woman.  She knew I was Catholic.  She knew we did not agree about this issue.  But, she accepted me as a friend, anyway.  And I accepted her.  And this friendship allowed me to talk to her about her ideas.  She told me, basically, that she did not see abortion as an actual "good," but that the women who came to the clinic were in very difficult circumstances and felt that they had no alternative. 

I did have these experiences many years ago.  I know there are many more resources now for women with unplanned pregnancies.  But, the whole need has not been filled.  So, to me, instead of fretting about the law, I ponder how I can actually reach out to and help women in difficult circumstances.  Without judging them.  Loving them no matter what their final decision about their situation might be.

Pro-women's rights people are also (rightly) concerned about certain things they see in developing countries.  They see women and children who suffer disproportionately because of ill health and poverty.  And it cannot be denied that this ill health and poverty can, at least to some degree, be attributed to having many babies in impoverished circumstances in cultures where women are often viewed as property.  So, the progressives believe it is important to empower women in societies where they have no voice.  They see it as an issue of human dignity.  And part (and only part) of the formula for this empowerment, in their minds, includes contraception and abortion. 

So, even if we Catholics don't agree on this part of their solution, we should still admit that there is a problem.  We should express some understanding for the pro-choice view of things, for it is understandable.  And, with understanding, perhaps there can be some real dialogue.

Gay marriage is another hot-button issue of our day.  Many Catholic people speak vociferously of how gay marriage threatens heterosexual marriage, children, society, religious freedom.  What concerns me most about this is that we tend to forget that there are actual people we are touching with our words -- words that can, at times, be legitimately construed as unkind.  We must remember that gay people do actually love each other and their children.  They have the same desires as the rest of us for companionship and love and family.  These are human desires.  So, as we discuss these issues, let us contemplate how difficult and lonely it would be to go through life without a spouse or children.  We need to have a real sensitivity to that.  We need to have compassion and kindness.  The gay people I know do not wish to "persecute" me for my religion.  They are just fine with me practicing my religion as I wish -- and even speaking about it with them.  They just don't want to be pushed around.  And they feel that we religious people want to push them around.  They feel that we want to "persecute" them. 

Finally, let us remember the failings of our Church and the horrific suffering these failings have caused.  Let us reflect on the priestly abuse crisis.  Let us fall to our knees in sorrow and humility.  And before we open our mouths, let us remember, "He who is without sin may cast the first stone."